I'm not entirely sure

Sarah/Cameron

2009-02-03T05:06:41Z

Title: Ardour
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Sarah/Cameron
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex, attempted violence
Summary: Cameron does what she wants and Sarah can only hope that she comes out alive.
Disclaimer: I don't own Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Notes: Written for femslash_today's Winter '08 Porn Battle.

Her flesh is warm.

It bothers Sarah more than she’ll admit. She knows Terminators are meant to blend in with humans, to fool them, and people are meant to have warm skin. A pulse, ability to bleed, blood, all of it is meant to fool humans. She knows what Cameron has said- Sarah wouldn’t be the first to be fooled by a machine.

And she hates it. Hates her skin, hates the blood (real or not) beneath it, the metal skeleton that haunts her nightmares each and every time night. There are times when she’s in the kitchen that she’ll be preparing dinner and Cameron will walk past and Sarah will have to stop herself from turning around and slicing it open.

It must have been when she had the flu because she let the words slip out to Derek one night while she was pepped up with cold and flu tablets. Derek shrugged and told her to try it if she had a death wish.

She doesn’t have a death wish and she’s able to keep her impulses under her belt. Cameron’s circuits haven’t fried again, even if her behaviour has been off and she’s been smiling lately. Goddamn smiling.

And then she walks in on her in the shower. She knows Terminators shower, or at least keep up some level of cleanliness. She knows they sweat, need to clean to keep up the facade of being real. It surprises her. She expected John (who would have yelled at her for walking in) or Derek (whose fifteen-odd years in the war left him unbothered by it and would have asked her what was up). But Cameron just turned, stared at her and went back to washing the soap from her hair. Sarah would have told her what was happening if it was an emergency. She would have left if it wasn’t.

So she left.

Back to the kitchen, back to dinner, staring in the pot as the water bubbls over.

Upstairs she hears the shower turn off. A few minutes later a door shutting, the sound of feet down the stairs. Without thinking she grabs the knife from the sink, turns around, goes to strike but Cameron is there, ready, prepared, taking her wrist and raising it over her head. They spin, Sarah struggling against the grip Cameron held on her wrist and finds herself pressed up against the fridge. She bucks, confused, by her actions more than Cameron’s, and struggles.

Cameron says she shouldn’t have done that. Sarah doesn’t reply; she knows she shouldn’t have. She doesn’t know why she did it. Maybe Cameron does. Maybe Derek told her what Sarah had been thinking. It doesn’t matter now.

Cocking her head in that strange manner she does when she's confused, Cameron stares at Sarah, never taking her grip from her wrist, the other around her shoulder. Her hand is warm, shower-warm, and Sarah pushes back again, pulls back again, wishing Cameron was and wasn’t real. Was a human, wasn’t a machine.

And then she smiles. Pale pink lips turned up into a shy smile, and it reaches her eyes, made them warm, soft, and her hand moves from Sarah’s shoulder and strokes her cheek. She shivers, tilting her head away from her hand. Cameron reaches over, brushes her knuckles on the opposite cheek, moving her head. Without a word, she leans in and kisses her, too gentle, too sweet, and her tongue is hot, probing, and she presses up against her, damn near grinds, and Sarah is caught between the fridge and Cameron who won’t budge.

She kicks her leg out, trying to at least get her point across and Cameron, calmly, moves her right leg over, settles, moves down. At first Sarah thinks that it’s some strategic move, a move to trap her, catch her off guard, but then she realises what Cameron’s doing. Her hips roll as she continues to press down, just enough pressure, and Sarah jerks her leg up. Cameron breaks the kiss that has still been going on and she gasps, her head falling back. Sarah watches, amazed, bewildered, her arm still above her head and her hand gripping the knife.

Cameron’s face turns pink and Sarah can’t tear her eyes away. She’s frozen, lips parted, her knee subtly moving out of instinct. A shudder courses through Cameron’s body and she tumbles forward. Sarah braces herself for Cameron’s weight but it never comes. One hand against the fridge, her chin on Sarah’s shoulder, panting hard, and Sarah just stares, waiting for her to finish. Her flesh is hot, almost scalding to touch.

Slowly, Cameron moves off. Her grip loosens on Sarah’s wrist and she detangles herself. Stepping back, she pushed her hair from her face and, without a word or a look, walks from the kitchen. Sarah watches her go, confused.

It’s not until she sets the knife back down in the sink that she looks at her wrist. There are faint bruises dotting her flesh like a bracelet. Around it, her skin is pink, as though burnt. She stares at it and gives it a rub before looking away. She hates the sight of it, the way it feels, the way it looks, the way the heat radiates off it.

Emma/Rikki

2009-02-03T05:04:22Z

Title: Brackish
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Emma/Rikki
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex
Summary: Emma's the calm one, but like the water she swims in, she only needs a push to go wild.
Disclaimer: I don't own H2O: Just Add Water.
Notes: Written for femslash_today's Winter '08 Porn Battle.

Oh, she knew Rikki was always the one that was always a little different. She was vibrant, vivacious, and always, always a little offbeat. She never fit in with the rest of people at school, and Emma ever really expected her to. There were times when she wanted her to, sure. Rikki wasn’t afraid of gaining attention. She wasn’t afraid of being a little quirky.

While she didn’t fit in at school, though, she definitely fit in at university. People didn’t look twice as she walked past, bedazzled with beads and ribbons and jewellery that clinked as she walked. The three of them caught up every now and then, though it was difficult when Cleo moved down to Melbourne. If anyone was going to move interstate to attend uni, Emma would have placed her money on Rikki.

But Rikki stuck around, and Emma found them still having their nights together when the full moon arose. They’d have Cleo on webcam and they’d chat and gossip and reminisce as they waited for the night to pass. But sometimes the connection would fry- storms or dial-up or any number of problems that happened thanks to the internet. And it was during one of those nights that Emma swore she might have not duct taped the card to the windows as securely she thought, or maybe Rikki didn’t dry her hands so surely after going to the loo or maybe the curtains opened just an inch.

Rikki tasted like the passionfruit she’d been devouring as they watched Neighbours and her beaded necklaces rattled as Emma pressed her hand against her shoulder as an effort to pry her off. Her cheeks were flushed, from the alcohol they’d been sipping or from the moon (god, the moon, please, Emma found herself thinking), she couldn’t say. She found herself getting pulled down the ground, her grip on Rikki’s shoulders growing lighter as her mouth moved lower. Her leg knocked against the table as Rikki’s fingers pulled at her shirt and she watched, bewitched, as a glass of water fell, pouring over Rikki’s back, running down her pale skin, exposed by the way Emma gripped her shirt. Her eyes were locked on the golden fins that emerged, swaying back and forth and Rikki undid her jeans, pulled her panties down and let her tongue delve inside her. The sway of her tail seemed to hypnotise her as she rocked, Rikki’s hands on her hips, feeling caught in the tides, the sound of the ocean filling her ears.

Lewis and Zane and Ash, they all tried best to understand their girlfriends. They all wanted to help. All wanted to assist. But, one after the other, the stress became too much. Emma didn’t blame them. Rikki had said that the connection they held was more than anyone could ever understand. They would always have each other, and Emma now understood why Rikki had smiled as she had said it, her thumb running over the charm on her necklace, a wink at Emma. Oh, she understood well now, especially as Rikki slid up her, her scales rubbing against Emma’s damp thighs and kissed her, tasting of salt now and smelling like the ocean.

Cameron/Riley

2009-02-03T05:00:23Z

Title: Drugged
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Cameron/Riley
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Underage sex. Mention of attempted suicide.
Summary: Riley did it to get away from reality. It caught up with her.
Disclaimer: I don't own Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Notes: Written for oxoniensis' Porn Battle.

Riley’s wrists are bandaged and she can feel the plastic padding against her skin. Her fingertips are slightly numb. She can’t move her fingers properly, and when she tries to move her left wrist, she can almost feel the skin reopening.

‘I saw you, in the future,’ she says.

Cameron looks at her and tilts her head.

‘You were so beautiful,’ she chokes out, and she doubles over as she starts to cry.

The painkillers have made everything soft and fuzzy around the edges. The hospital walls are too white, too sterile. So unlike the future, where everything was dark and damp and dank and the dirt clung to them. Cameron was like something else, something otherworldly. She was clean and bright. Riley saw her only once, as she and Jesse ran to the time-displacement device. She wanted to be like her.

‘I never saw you,’ Cameron says.

Riley leans over and kisses her. Cameron doesn’t make an attempt to move or pull away. She doesn’t kiss her back, either. Riley continues to kiss her, desperate for her to kiss back, for her to react. She lifts her hand and makes to curl her fingers around Cameron’s shoulder, but the pain ripples down her arm and she yells, pulling back. Tears sting her eyes and she lowers her head, embarrassed.

‘You’re injured,’ Cameron says. ‘Lie back.’

She does, in no position to argue. Her eyes flicker to the doorway, though, half expecting a doctor to come in at any moment. Cameron moves to block her view and her hand starts to pull the gown off of Riley. Her hand slips behind Riley’s back and shifts her up, untying the knot at the back. Settling her back down, she strips her efficiently, and slips her panties down her legs.

‘I don’t think- somebody- ’

Without a word, Cameron stands and closes the curtains. She sits back down and Riley twitches, the painkillers making it somewhat difficult to recognize she was naked.

‘I- what- ’

‘You’re in pain. Endorphins will relieve the pain.’

‘I don’t think… the doctors gave me medi- I don’t think you should be doing that.’

Cameron’s fingers stroke her rhythmically, and Riley twitches as her foot pressed against the hard mattress. Her eyes shut and her hands lay flat against the sheet, her wrists still in shock. As Cameron’s fingers push inside, Riley gasps, her hips arching up. Her medication-induced fog swells as Cameron twisted her fingers. Riley squeezes around her, and Cameron’s thumb presses against her clit, as though to stop her. Riley jumps, gasping out loud.

‘I’m not the enemy,’ Cameron says coolly, her fingers starting to build a rhythm. ‘I’m here to protect John.’

Riley whimpers and presses her feet against the bed, riding Cameron’s fingers. Her body tenses and arches, and her head falls back. Cameron’s other hand presses against her hip to keep her still as her fingers continue to move inside her, twisting and curling, her thumb circling. She’s very good at it and Riley wants to know how she knows what she’s doing but the mix of pleasure and painkillers makes it impossible to speak.

When she comes, Cameron presses her hand over her mouth, muffling Riley’s moans. Her eyes roll back and she feels Cameron’s hands slip from her. Somehow her gown is placed back on her, and her panties are shoved back on. Breathless and dazed, though starting to succumb to the drowsing effects of the pain medication, Riley watches as Cameron stands and wipes her hands on her shirt.

‘I’m not the enemy,’ she repeats. ‘I’m going to make you realize that.’

Summer/Cameron

2009-02-03T04:57:49Z

Title: Confusion
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Summer Glau/Cameron
Rating: R
Warnings: Mindfuck, dubious consent
Summary: None of it can be real.
Disclaimer: I don't own Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles or Summer Glau.
Notes: Written for oxoniensis' Porn Battle.

It can’t be possible. Characters don’t just come to life. It doesn’t happen.

‘Not in this world, at least,’ she says, and Summer’s mind goes blank for a good moment.

‘I… play you.’

‘Yes,’ she says, and Summer wonders if it’s actually a she because Cameron is meant to be a robot, but Cameron isn’t meant to be real, but she’s here and she’s real and she’s in close proximity, and this doesn’t happen, not to her, not ever and she’s getting dizzy and breathless and Cameron takes her arm and sits her down.

‘You’re not real.’

‘Yes, I am,’ Cameron says.

‘You’re fantasy,’ Summer argues. ‘I play you on TV. You don’t… you’re not meant to exist. It’s not a biopic, it’s a sci-fi TV show!’

‘There’s some truth in every lie,’ Cameron says.

She can’t figure it out. This doesn’t happen to her, but most importantly, this isn’t meant to happen ever. Fictional characters don’t just come to life. They’re fiction. Not real. The whole scenario, though, is very, very, unreal.

Cameron reaches over and unbuttons Summer’s blouse. She’s too frightened to move; her body is limp and her heart is pounding as her shirt lapels fall open. Cameron does the same to her own shirt. She points to a freckle on her ribcage and reaches over, places her other hand on the same spot.

‘July, 1993. You got burnt. You got a freckle there. We’re both the same.’

Summer twitches, but she feels as though she’s in a daze when Cameron’s hand starts to move. She swallows thickly and shuts her eyes, trying to ignore the way her body betrayed her. Cameron’s hand cups the breast and she kisses her nipple. Summer’s leg jerks out and Cameron pulls back, though her hand remains.

‘Your body is different, though. You react. Action versus reaction. You respond to touch. You can’t control it.’

‘No,’ Summer chokes out. It’s difficult, though, to get her mouth to work.

‘Yes,’ Cameron replies coolly. Her hand trails down to Summer’s stomach and she twitches, ticklish. ‘I can control you.’

‘No,’ Summer repeats, but she trembles, and suddenly she’s no longer concerned as to why Cameron is there or where she came from. She’s only worried about Cameron being there and staying there, as her hands push Summer’s jeans down and they find their way inside.

River/Jayne

2009-02-03T04:55:40Z

Title: Like That
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: River/Jayne
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexual fantasies and underage.
Summary: River's mind wanders at night, and she hears all sorts of delights.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: Written for oxoniensis' Porn Battle.

Oh, River knows Jayne. Yes, she knows Jayne well, better than he would expect. She knows men, too, yes, she’s known men ever since the Academy. Not that they touched her like that, like that, like that, though. No, but they thought about it and Jayne thinks about it, too. Pervy mind thoughts about Simon’s sister, Simon’s little sister, Simon’s little sister with the crazy mind and the crazy thoughts and the crazy words. Yes, yes, little sister, little girl, not even eighteen but that’s okay.

Oh, yes, little girl with the mind that hears everything. Open ears, open eyes, open heart, but she knows, she knows well, because she hears and she sees and she feels. Jayne likes her toes, which are connected to her feet, which are connected to her ankles which are connected to her long, long legs that disappear up her skirt until a gust of wind comes and she shows off more than should be seen. And her toes, which are connected to her feet and her ankles and her legs, curl into the sand below like they would into sheets.

And she hears him later, when the black comes to the ground, in her mind, in her head. Yes, Jayne, Jayne who is a boy but has a girl’s name. Jayne who has manparts, who grips manparts. Yes, all because of little River, little sister, mei-mei on the ship. With her toes and feet and ankles and legs and panties riding up and showing one asscheek and hips and waist and her skirt blowing up and showing it all off while they stood just short of the cornfields. Who turned and looked and smiled and knew. And Jayne, who would be slaughtered by Simon, yes, Simon, River’s brother Simon, if he knew Jayne held such thoughts.

And River giggles and smiles as her head fills with Jayne’s thoughts. Of pulling those rutting panties down and bending over the bed, or throwing her on the table or pressing her against the ship or shoving her on her hands and knees on the ground, and Jayne thinks of that one again and again. And shoving her legs apart and thrusting into her, his manparts, mancock, pushing it inside, and rutting against her. And have her fingers and toes grip the sand and scrape and bleed, and her knees cut raw. He’d shove her dress up and over her head and he’d cup her breasts. Gentle and tender, and River hums in surprise at that. Jayne knows how to be with women, and he knows there ain’t no point in being rough there or else they’ll never come back.

And he’d fuck her until she was screaming and coming, and oh, River likes how he’d make her come. Ain’t no point in not giving a woman anything either, especially one like River, little River, small River, River who’d go crazy and make sure he never manparted anything ever again if he didn’t give her some sugar, either. She laughs and presses her hand between her thighs, against her cunt, her legs spread and one foot sliding up the wall.

Oh, River knows Jayne. The wind blows the next day, just outside of the cornfields. Her dress blows up again, and her toes that Jayne likes are connected to her feet, which are connected to her ankles, which are connected to her legs that run high, high up keep going up and Jayne turns and looks to see she’s not wearing any panties.

Cameron/Eric

2009-02-03T04:52:55Z

Title: One Glazed
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Cameron/Eric
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sexual fantasies
Summary: He respects her as a person, but he still has sexual urges like any other warm-blooded man.
Disclaimer: I don't own Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Notes: Written for oxoniensis' Porn Battle.

He imagines she tastes like cherries. The sickeningly sweet fake kind they put in doughnuts. She always gets him the cherry-filled ones that are glazed. The sugar sticks to his fingers and the cherry filling drips out from the end. She never eats them, or at least he’s never seen her eat them, but he imagines that’s how she tastes anyway.

He can still get it up. People seem surprised, but he can. Just because his legs don’t work doesn’t mean the rest of him doesn’t. Cameron’s never asked, but he wouldn’t disappoint her. She’s the only person who doesn’t look at him in pity. She asks sometimes, about the cancer, about how it is to not walk, but she’s curious. She’s interested. She’s interested in him.

He plays it out in his head. About how it would go, about how it would be. She’d come over one night, with the doughnuts, with her crooked smile, and they’d sit and talk and study and discuss what they had read, and then she’d lean over and kiss him. She’d taste like the sickeningly sweet cherries, because she had eaten one on the way over, and there would still be powder on her cheek. He would brush it off, and he’d kiss her again. She’d shyly admit she had wanted to do that for a while.

She would be soft to touch, and most importantly, she’d let him. His hand would slide down her shoulder and would cup her breast. She’d gasp and bite her lower lip. Okay, so he knows that’s not how it really works, but it’s his fantasy. But she’d be coy; yes, coy, she’d do it because she’d know that’s what he wanted. To turn her on, and she would be turned on. She’d shiver and whimper as he touched her all over, and she’d get wet. His hand would slip down the front of her jeans and into her panties, and he’d be able to feel it. She’d be tight and hot, and her head would fall back as he slipped his fingers inside her.

And this is where it starts to get fuzzy. What would they do then? Would he continue to finger her until she climaxed tight around him? Or would he let her touch him? He’s not used to being touched, not after he was diagnosed. But he’d let her touch him, if she wanted to. He’d let her strip him, and maybe she’d kneel down in front of him, and take him into her mouth. He likes that idea. He pictures her soft, pouty lips wrapped around him. He’d stroke her cheeks, and brush her hair from her face. She’d swallow him down when he came. He doesn’t know why, but he just guesses she would. She never complains about anything.

Or maybe they’d have sex on the table. It’s a classic library cliché, along with a romp between the shelves, but it works. She’d ride him- it’s the only way he could see it happening given what they have to work with. But he’d grip her hips, guide her, cup her breasts, watch as she came. He’d hold her afterwards and stroke her back, kiss her lips again, and tell her he had wanted to do that for a while, too.

But first they would have to tell each other about their feelings. She had read Othello because he told her to. That meant she thought about him. That meant she was interested in him. He’d tell her about how he felt about her tonight.

Simon/River

2009-01-12T07:25:01Z

Title: Sweet Gifts
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Simon/River
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild incest
Summary: She shares the chocolate and floats on happiness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: This was originally meant to be written for femslash_today's winter porn battle but I ended up dropping it in favour of another idea. This one ended up going in a different direction as a result.

It’s during a stopover in Persephone that River gets a box of chocolates. They’re dark, sweet and rich, and River says her favourites are filled with sticky peppermint and dusted lightly with white chocolate. The whole box, though, is filled with lots of different sorts of candies. They’re a treat from Badger who smiles at her. Simon is wary of them but River keeps them anyway. It’s been a long time since she’s had any candy and she makes a comment that girls are made with sugar and spice and all things nice and she better keep that up or else she’ll turn into a toad.

When they’re finally off and flying to the next planet, and nearly everyone has turned in for the night, Kaylee sits with River in her room as she takes the candies from the box and lines them up on the floor into groups. There’s a sheet that says what’s in each box. The heart shaped ones are filled with strawberry flavoured goo. The curved ones with lumps in them is hazelnut praline. The ones shaped like a dome are almond. Kaylee stares longingly at the strawberry ones until River pulls out a handkerchief, puts them in, ties the ends into a knot and hands it into Kaylee.

‘Sweets for a sweetie,’ River says as she collects the rest of the chocolate and puts them back into the box.

She patters through the ship, the box resting against her hands. She finds Mal first, sitting in the cockpit, not quite awake but not asleep, either. Tip-toeing forward, River stands behind the chair and places down the first cherry-filled chocolate. She inches back, leaving the tiny chocolates in a trail to the first step. Then, like lightning, she patters off.

In front of Zoe’s bunk, she puts the almonds in a heart. She dumps the orange-flavoured ones in a pile in front of Jayne’s without care. For Inara, she lines the hazelnuts up carefully, like a string of pearls in front of the shuttle door. She waits, watching as they all started to sniff out the chocolate, picking them up and turning them over before retreating back to the safety of the four walls surrounding them.

Still clutching the box, River pads back down to the safety of the passenger dorms, and all the while she pictures the delight of her fellow crew members. Simon’s light was still on. Tilting her head, River runs her hand over the top of the box. Sliding Simon’s door open, she kneels down on the floor and rests the box in front of her.

‘River, mei-mei, what’s wrong?’ Simon asks as he climbs out of bed and sets the book he was reading aside. He kneels in front of her and tries to look at her face. His hand runs under her chin and tilts it so she was looking at him.

‘I have chocolate,’ she says, moving away from his hand, and takes the lid off the box. Only five of them remain.

Simon looks at the box, then back at her. ‘Did you eat them all? Do you have a stomach ache?’

She shakes her head. Looking up at Simon, she smiles and takes one of the last chocolates. It’s just milk chocolate; Simon’s favourite. She hands it to him, watching the confusion cross his face.

‘Simple and plain, but sweet and rich and satisfying. Always present, never ceasing.’

‘River, I- ’

‘Shared them all around,’ she says with a smile, ‘only fair you get some, too.’

She hands him the chocolates and watches as he looks over them. He turns them over in his hands and curls his fingers around them, as though wishing he could take them. Chocolate in the black’s a rarity and even someone as tightly-wound as Simon has a sweet tooth.

‘Didn’t you have any?’

She nods. They’re in her room, sitting on her bed, waiting to be eaten. ‘Peppermints.’

Simon’s still stalling, so she snatches one of the candies from his hand. Peeling the wrapper off it, she places it between two of her fingers and offers it to him. Her grin brightens as Simon wraps his lips around it and bites down. Her laughter bubbles over and she watches as he licks his lips, staining them with chocolate. Leaning over, she steals a kiss, the sticky-sweet taste lingering on her lips. Her tongue slips past, into his mouth where the taste of chocolate is stronger and it makes her belly curl. When she leans back, Simon stares at her, confused, before she presses the rest of the chocolate between his lips. She reaches for the box when Simon grabs her wrist, some of the chocolates spilling out of his hand and onto his lap.

‘River.’

She looks up at her name. Simon is still gripping onto her wrist.

‘River,’ he repeats, ‘you can’t just... do that.’

‘Do that,’ River echoes.

Simon nods. ‘You can’t.’

‘Can’t.’ Reaching up, River strokes his cheek. Simon leans into it and he sighs. ‘Simon,’ River coos. ‘Simon worries too much. Too many thoughts in the head. Plain and simple.’

She kisses him again, the chocolate taste still lingering. Simon sighs again and River’s hand drifts down his cheek and to his jaw. Picking up the fallen chocolates, she places them back in his hand. Simon looks as though he’s going to say something, and River blinks slowly, waiting. He doesn’t, though, and just lowers his head, eyes shut. She knows what he’s thinking; she’s River. Always off in her world, following her own flights of fancies, damn the others.

Taking the box, she stands, her skirt swimming around her ankles. Brushing her hand over Simon’s head, she turns and breezes out of the room. He will figure things out eventually. He always does. He was Simon, her brother. He always followed her. He would now, too. She was always in charge, always running off on an idea, a game, and he always played along, getting more and more wrapped up in the novelty of it that he was breathless when it all wore away.

Her chocolates are still on the bed where she left them. Wriggling down, she lines them up on her belly. Picking one, she unwraps it and pops it in her mouth. Besides the peppermint, the taste is like Simon. Her toes curl and her mind floats away, high on the delight of all her fellow crew members.

River/Jayne

2009-01-07T04:12:57Z

Title: En Avant
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: River/Jayne, Kaylee/Simon
Rating: PG:13
Warnings: Violence. Also not exactly dial-up friendly. Set a couple of years after the BDM.
Summary: There are times when Kaylee thinks that River's stuck in one place, frozen like a photograph. The steps are so small that it seems she's a standstill. Instead, River tip-toes forward so slowly that nobody notices.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: Written for memorysdaughter as part of serenity_santa's 2008 Secret Santa. I hope you enjoy it =)

For Christmas, Kaylee received a camera from her Dun Che Lao Ren on the ship. Although she didn’t strictly celebrate Christmas (Spring Festival was far more common on her home planet), she loved the festivities and taking part in the celebration on the ship. Even Mal seemed to get into it, even if he did tell them to keep the sparklers and streamers from the cockpit.

Kaylee knew that Simon gave her the camera. He was the only one who could afford it, apart from Inara, and Inara had told her the week before that her Dun Che Lao Ren was Zoe. Kaylee spent the rest of the day taking pictures with it. It was the sort that could switch between video and still images, and while the videos were fun to play back, she found something strangely intimate about the stills. It was a capture in time, a snapshot of that person, or place, or thing at one moment, frozen forever.

Kaylee, of course, had taken pictures before. She had had her picture taken. She had even owned a camera once in her life, but had dropped it in a puddle in Persephone and it hadn’t worked since.

It was over Christmas dinner, though, that Kaylee discovered the brilliance in taking still images. It was dark and a little blurry, but there it was. Just Simon and River laughing over something she couldn’t remember the next day. River still didn’t laugh much, even after Miranda. She seemed happier- at least she wasn’t slicing people up- but laughter was still a rarity.

She stuck the picture up on her wall by her bed and decided then that she was going to photograph River. She didn’t make a vow or a promise or even a conscious decision, but when she reflected back a year later, that seemed to be the pinpoint moment when River became her muse.

*

It was in mid-January when they made their next delivery. Kaylee had been taking pictures (or as she liked to call them, happy snaps) ever since Christmas. She had kept her camera with her wherever she went, in case an opportunity arose to take another picture. Most of them seemed to be of Serenity’s engine- not that Kaylee minded, but it wasn’t exactly the most inspiring of images, even to someone like her. She put them into a box and keeps them in her bunk; they were still worth something.

They arrived in Newhall with the cargo ready to be shipped. It was half a dozen tractors. For Kaylee and River, they became a new source for their games of hide and go seek. While River invariably found Kaylee lying under them (she couldn’t get her body to fit any other way), Kaylee found River in a whole range of positions, most leaving her confused and joints aching at the mere thought of it. Their games came to a stop, though, when Mal found River laying in one of the wheels, her legs above her head and a delighted grin on her face.

‘Found me!’ she said as she waved at him with her foot.

While Kaylee doubled over with laughter, Mal seemed less than amused. He turned to Jayne, who had been lifting weights during the games and demanded to know why he let them get away with it. Jayne shrugged in response.

‘Kept ‘em from swinging from the bars,’ he said. He set the weights he had been lifting back on the rack for added emphasis.

By the time they landed on Newhall, the incident had been long forgotten. The locals invited the crew into town, with an added request they were allowed to stay for dinner so long as they were shown how to use the tractors. Kaylee was subsequently nominated for the job, which was something she didn’t mind as she had spent so long under the tractors that she knew how they worked already without switching them on.

Simon didn’t want River to go, though. Although Mal repeatedly assured him there was no danger to him or River (at least not in the immediate vicinity), Simon wanted to keep River on the ship, where he could watch her. Throwing his hands up in defeat, Mal finally bid them farewell and to enjoy their night while the rest of them were eating freshly roasted pork with fresh vegetables and fresh water and fresh other whats-its. River waved them off, seemingly unperturbed at being forced to stay behind by her brother.

It wasn’t until they reached the festivities that Kaylee realised she had left her camera behind. Her disappointment didn’t last long, however, because once she returned back to Serenity, she found a picture taped to her door. She laughed when she saw it and it took it down to add to the collection of photos she chose to keep stuck on her wall.

‘They stole my soul,’ River said when Kaylee saw her the next day. ‘I stole it back.’

There were times when Kaylee didn’t understand what River was saying and this, she decided, was definitely one of those times.

*

Kaylee’s home world was built up mostly of cattle stations and wheat farms and she liked it that way. The city was more like a big country town. It wasn’t uncommon for folks to pick up and move off during droughts, though the Fryes had been living there for as long as anyone could remember. When they received word that they were to deliver a shipment there, Kaylee spent the next week in transit making sure everybody knew everything there was to know about her Mama and Daddy. She was surprised when Jayne took an interest, though she later found out that he had been raised in a similar situation.

As Kaylee spoke animatedly about her late great-grandaddy and how he brought the farm up from nothing more than a few acres and sand to Jayne in the dining area, she saw River stick her head in, eyes wide as she watched them. Kaylee waved her over and River tiptoed in. Slipping into a seat next to Jayne, she crossed her legs, looking expectantly at Kaylee as she waited for her to continue.

‘They should be settin’ up for Spring Festival soon,’ she continued on. ‘Mama makes the best niangao. Hopefully the captain’ll let us stick around long enough to have it.’

‘We used to have jau gok,’ River said, her voice soft. She was staring intently at the table. ‘It was the only thing our mother cooked by herself. I used to watch her. Long time ago. Payments of the past. Past the heating point, melted down and packed away for later. Nothing resembles what it did then.’

Eyeing River, Jayne let out a soft grunt before standing and making a move to wash out his cup of coffee. Just another one of River’s tangents; it was nothing to get worked up about.

By the time they touched down on the planet, Kaylee had planned everything. She would introduce everyone to her parents, take them around Serenity and maybe even show off Simon if he stopped being so tightly wound up. Of course, she’d need to get Mal’s permission for two of the three things, but she was sure he’d say yes (or at least she hoped he would). The thing she wanted the most, though, was to spend time with her family and enjoy the Spring Festival celebrations.

After they had arrived and settled in, with everyone on Serenity meeting her family and the neighbours and the people that ran the local store and the Jacobsens who sometimes helped out on the farm and Mal started saying he was half considering leaving her on the planet, Kaylee’s mother finally told them about the Spring Festival celebration that was happening later that week. Before Kaylee could even beg to stay, Mal said it should be okay if they hung around for a few more days. It was then that Kaylee realised that Mal had discovered her Mama’s cherry pie.

The Spring Festival celebration was a big one, and people liked to get dressed up. As River watched people set up stalls and activities, she announced that she wanted to join in with the festivities. Simon hesitated and said it might not be safe- big crowds were still an issue.

‘Aw, it’ll be good for her,’ Kaylee said, playfully hitting his shoulder. ‘Get her around some people. Everybody’s been introduced to you now anyways.’

Simon pursed his lips, and while he didn’t say yes or no, Kaylee ended up dragging her aside and showing her some dresses she had been able to fit into when she was fourteen but since had grown too tight. Telling her to let her know when she picked one out, Kaylee headed back to find her family.

The dress River ended up choosing was a little large on her, and it hung loosely from the thin straps that kept sliding down her shoulders. She didn’t seem fussed, though. She spun around in delight and remarked on the flowers that use to grow by the Le Qu River near her house on Osiris. While Simon just pursed his lips and murmured about not to cause a fuss, Kaylee thought it was absolutely delightful and nudged Jayne while saying what a mei ren River was turning into.

The celebrations were well under way by the time they arrived. Cotton candy was billowing through the wind and people were lighting candles for lanterns to flow down the river when the night came to an end. People were milling about game booths where oversized stuffed toys sat precariously on the shelves, waiting to be won. One caught River’s eye, where three balls had to be thrown into a bucket in order to win a prize.

‘Not tonight, mei-mei,’ Simon said uncertainly, well aware River would do it with ease.

River’s face fell, and while she stared longingly at one of the large bears, she let herself get dragged away. Kaylee shook her head and sighed.

‘Ain’t right,’ she started, turning to where Jayne had been staring moments before. He was gone, though, having headed over to the booth River had been looking at. Racing over, Kaylee watched as he picked up the first of the balls. ‘What’re you doin’?’

Without speaking, Jayne threw the balls, each flying into the centre bucket. Taking the bear that was handed to him, Jayne tucked it under his arm.

‘Girl’ll probably be going on about it all night,’ he said as way of explanation.

River, of course, was delighted when the bear was presented to her. She dragged the bear around until it was time to get back to Serenity.

The cargo bay was filled with stuffing two days later.

‘It snows on Osiris during Spring Festival,’ she said.

Kaylee decided not to question as to why the bear’s head remained stuffed and mounted on her wall.

*

A virus was making its round through the ship. It wasn’t anything bad; just a case of the sniffles, typical body pain and the need to sleep upwards of sixteen hours. Simon repeated ten times a day that there was nothing he could give anyone and they would just have to sleep it off.

River got it the worst. Having been in The Academy for the better part of two and a half years meant that her immune system wasn’t as healthy as that as everyone else on the ship. Of all the training they put her through they forgot to train her immune system. She didn’t complain. In fact, River didn’t say much at all. Simon ended up diagnosing her with laryngitis. She just flopped around in her room and common area. Her head lolled on her shoulders and Simon started getting anxious when her fever didn’t break.

It took her just over a week to finally start breaking out of the fever. She was still hot to touch and her glands were swollen, but the worried look on Simon’s face was less severe and occasionally River would croak out a few of her vague phrases that characterised her.

‘Xi jun zhan shi,’ she said hoarsely over breakfast one day.

She was slumped in her seat, a pencil in hand as she scrawled over a piece of paper. She had taken to drawing more than ever when she had the energy. Mal had praised her, saying it was a hobby she could keep doing so long as she didn’t start doing it on the walls. River had been so sick at that stage, Kaylee doubted River had heard.

‘Always hear,’ River murmured. ‘Always here.’

The pictures River drew didn’t make much sense, at least to anyone on the ship. Kaylee realised that, deep down, whatever River said or did, did have some meaning, if only to her. River never did anything on the fly. While her mind moved so fast that things she did may seem to be on impulse, Kaylee realised, as did everyone on the ship, that everything meant to something to her, and as such, nearly everything could be linked back to The Academy.

Her drawings looked hurried and sketchy. Although Kaylee saw her drawing them sometimes, her movements were slow and lethargic, but once she was done, they looked as though the pictures had popped into her head and she had to get them out as soon as possible before they disappeared. River would stick them up above her bed, like a bastardised version of Kaylee’s picture gallery. Kaylee looked at them, trying to figure out what they were. There were parts she recognised in the smudged outlines, like wires and screws and pipes. It dawned on her one day that River was drawing a ship.

‘Had us go through it,’ River said as Kaylee mulled over her thought. ‘Break in, disarm and disable the guards that got in our way.’ She set down her pencil and shoved the last piece of paper in Kaylee’s hands. ‘Nowhere is ever safe. Early rising.’

Simon ended up pulling the drawings down two weeks later. He said they bothered him, and it wouldn’t do River any good to sleep in a room while surrounded of memories of The Academy. Kaylee later found them in a mishmash pile outside her bunk door. As much as she hated to admit it, the drawings were fascinating, despite what they would have meant for River, and for what they would have meant for the people who had been aboard that ship when The Academy decided to attack.

*

Despite managing to shake the worst of her cold off, River was still lethargic and feeling under the weather when April came around. She still piloted the ship, and on some days, that seemed to be the only thing that dragged her out of bed (other than Simon’s daily injections, of course). Her drawings had come to a standstill, and the stuffed bear’s head had since relocated to sitting on top of Jayne’s barbells.

‘She better not start gettin’ crazy again, doc,’ Mal warned. ‘Can’t have a bus hi gu niang flyin’ the ship.’

‘Better not start droppin’ things around, either,’ Jayne muttered as he picked the bear up by its ear and flung it towards the door heading to the infirmary.

River couldn’t seem to escape her funk, though. She flopped over chairs and tables, seemingly growing lost in her own thoughts. Simon said the illness had taken a toll on her body and now she lacked energy. She would be fine, he reassured everyone, though Simon did seem concerned himself.

Kaylee was taken by surprise one morning to find Jayne in the kitchen and at the stove. River was at the table, chin on it, staring at a spoon. The smell of soup filled the air and Kaylee watched as Jayne stirred the pot.

‘I must be zuo meng. Whatcha doin’?’

Taking the pot off the stove, Jayne poured the contents into the bowl already sitting on the bench. The remains of their few vegetables swam beside hunks of protein. Kaylee eyed the empty container of chicken stock beside the used dishes. Grabbing the bowl, Jayne rounded the bench and set it beside River. River stared at it for a moment before lifting her head and dipping her spoon into it. She tasted it, eyes staring off into whatever world she let herself drift into, and then started it eating it hungrily.

‘Not gonna let her get crazy again,’ Jayne muttered as he went back to set the dishes in the sink. ‘More energy she has, less crazy she gets. ‘sides, girl could use a feed or two.’

Finishing her meal, River pushed the bowl away and moved onto her feet. She was about to head through the door when Jayne stopped her.

‘Ain’tcha gonna say anything?’

River stared and cocked her head, seeming to consider his question. ‘You can cook,’ she said, as though the idea was amusing to her, before turning and heading out of the kitchen.

Smirking, Kaylee sniffed the bowl and set it in the sink with the rest of the dishes. River had a point- Kaylee never knew Jayne could cook, nor that he cared about anyone that much to actually go and do it.

‘She’s got a point. Maybe next time you could cook for the rest of us, dong ma?’

Scowling, Jayne shrugged past her and started to wash up the mess he had made. Jayne’s soup, though, did seem to perk River up. Her energy returned in a few days and by the time they were heading into view of their next stop, she was healthy enough to land Serenity safely. While Simon took it to mean that the River had finally shaken the bug and her health had returned in due course, Kaylee had a sneaking suspicion Jayne’s odd show of compassion had something to do with it. Besides, she liked to believe in miracles and was a romantic at heart.

*

The Rim planet they landed on was hot and dry. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Rim planet, other than the fact it was heavily populated and sandstorms were more frequent than not. The sun scalded the land the locals said that whatever trees grew usually burnt down long before anybody got to use the shade because of the heat.

Everybody was happy to get off the ship, though. They’d been flying for the better part of six weeks and everybody was starting to get cabin fever. River had finally gotten better and she had taken full advantage of it by dropping sweets and the like down people’s bunks. Kaylee had found it fun at first until she woke up one morning with the heat turned up and a messy pile of chocolate goo at the foot of the ladder. By the time she had managed to climb up and start her morning duties, Jayne had already chased River around the ship and Mal had given her a stern talking to about when chocolate should be given out. Nobody knew where River got the chocolate from. Nobody knew where River had hidden, either.

River ended up emerging, though, when they landed. They promise of solid ground beneath their feet was too exciting for River to ignore, like everyone else. While Mal and Zoe went to settle the job, Inara took Kaylee and River to look over the local souvenirs. While it was one of Inara and Kaylee’s favourite pastimes, Simon rarely let River out of his grips for long enough to poke around. However, River had rubbed chocolate into a good half dozen of Simon’s shirts and she ran off while he was still cussing.

While the heat made them tug at their collars and roll their sleeves up, Kaylee was just happy for a change in temperature. It was usually mild in the ship, when the heat wasn’t being played with. Not too warm and not too cold, but it was still fun to go and try something else. A change of scenery was even better. As Inara spoke to River about a few of her recent clients, Kaylee took a few pictures, with the idea of sending a few back to her folks. When she looked at them later, she saw a few of River smiling. It looked slightly forced in some of them, but in others she looked genuinely happy.

She showed them later to Simon, with Jayne and Inara sitting nearby.

‘It’s her birthday next month,’ Simon murmured as he looked at one of the photos. He squinted an eye and handed it back. ‘She’d be having her debutante ball soon.’

‘Debutante ball?’ Jayne repeated.

‘It’s a ball presenting young eligible women,’ Inara clarified as she looked over the pictures.

‘River won’t have hers,’ Simon said, sounding mildly disappointed. Taking the photos, he put them in a pile and handed them back to Kaylee. Without a word, Simon stood and left the kitchen to head to his room.

Kaylee knew that although River was missing out on a lot of things now, she would have missed out on a lot more if she hadn’t been taken from The Academy; her innocence, for one. She was able to live her life how she wanted to now, even if she did have certain limitations. Kaylee just hoped Simon didn’t restrict those further.

*

River’s birthday was on the day they landed on Bernadette. Although a Central planet, it was closer to the Rim than most and the Alliance presence was low and concentrated mostly on the other side of where Serenity landed.

River didn’t mention her birthday, and was quiet for a good part of the morning. For a while, Kaylee thought that maybe River had forgotten her birthday, or thought everybody on the ship, Simon included, had. That didn’t seem at all likely, though, seeing as River could probably remember a minor detail someone spoke of three years ago, and even if she couldn’t, she could still read someone’s mind and find out what she wanted. Kaylee wanted to bring it up, though. She wanted to ask Simon if he had bought her anything, she wanted to ask Mal if it would be at all possible to hold a birthday celebration, even if it meant another round of protein cake. They spent most of the morning, though, unloading crates from the ship and finishing the deal.

To everyone’s surprise, though, including River’s, during dinner that night, Simon presented River with a present. It was wrapped in thin crepe paper, with a thick satin bow on top. River stared at it for a long moment, as though trying to assess its danger level. Finally, she lifted her head and looked at Simon quizzically.

‘Happy birthday,’ Simon said.

‘Why?’

A frown crossed Simon’s features for just a moment before he recovered. ‘It’s your birthday,’ he said. Then, as if remembering, ‘there’s a, a... It’s your twentieth birthday. Do you remember what that means?’

Squinting an eye at Simon, River looked at him before seeming to catch on. ‘Dresses and parties and champagne. Presentations. The debutante ball.’

Simon nodded, a small smile on his face. He pushed the present towards her again, this time with force. ‘I spoke to those in charge today,’ he said, not just to River but to the rest of the table. ‘And they said you were more than welcome to attend... if you wanted. You don’t need to.’

Continuing to stare at him, River tilted her head, and then looked back at the present, her hands folded on her lap.

‘Aren’t you going to unwrap it?’ Inara asked, a mixture of humour and surprise in her voice.

Without a word, River picked the package up and, silently, left the kitchen. Simon watched her go, looking vaguely hurt. Biting the inside of her cheek, Kaylee took a sip from her cup and cleared her throat.

‘When’s the ball, Simon?’

‘You’re not going,’ Mal added quickly.

‘Wasn’t gonna ask,’ Kaylee replied.

‘Tomorrow,’ Simon said, turning back to his meal. His fork scraped on his plate. ‘We don’t have to stay.’

‘No. We’re staying,’ Mal said, surprising everyone with his firmness. At the raised eyebrows, he continued on. ‘’bout time your sister went and did something normal girls her age do. ‘specially from her own world.’

Simon must have spoken to River about it again later because right before dinner the following night she appeared in a chocolate brown dress. The hem hung above her knees, and a thin black necklace wrapped around her neck. Pulling at the satin experimentally, she looked down at herself, head cocked. She seemed nonplussed by it; while the dress was, for lack of a better word, rather unexciting, River still seemed confused. As Kaylee took a few pictures of River, Inara spoke quietly to Simon.

‘Why don’t I do River’s hair and make-up?’

‘I think she looks fine,’ Simon murmured.

‘It’s her debutante. She should be allowed to dress up.’

Pursing his lips together, Simon watched as River started to tug on her hair. ‘Fine,’ he said shortly. ‘But... keep her demure, please.’

Delighted, Inara called to River and motioned for her to follow her. Following, Kaylee in tow, the three headed to Inara’s shuttle. As River brushed her hand along the walls, Inara pulled out her make-up kit and started to line out various cosmetics, Kaylee sitting beside her. Turning her attention to the cupboards, River started opening them and pawed through them. Inara watched her for a second, then spoke.

‘You’re a very pretty girl, River. Do you know that?’

‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.’

‘Are you looking forward to the ball?’ Inara asked, ignoring River’s dismissal of her comment.

‘Every girl does, growing up on a Central planet.’

‘I wish I had a debutante,’ Kaylee sighed dreamily.

Smiling at her, Inara pushed her hair from her face. She turned back to River, watching as she pulled a pale blue dress from her cupboard and studied the material.

‘What’s your favourite colour, River?’

River was silent for a long moment. Kaylee thought she hadn’t actually heard Inara. She dug through the cupboard once more, and then pulled out a long dress. It flowed well past her bare feet, the bright colour warming her pale skin more so than the brown of the dress she wore. She ran a hand down the soft material and held out the skirt.

‘Yellow,’ she finally said. ‘It means happiness. It brings joy. It is the colour of Monday. Monday’s child is fair of face. Wednesday child is full of woe. Wednesday’s child should be happy. Aura of intelligence, of scientists. I like yellow.’

Lifting her head, she turned to Inara and Kaylee and gave a smile.

Simon didn’t recognise his sister when he first saw her. Kaylee knew the magic of eyeliner and a lick of lipstick, and Inara knew how to work a hair curler, but River did the rest herself. She was happy, excited and, most importantly, feeling confident. For the first time in no doubt years, River was able to be a girl for once. Not a fugitive, not a weapon, just a sister and friend and part of Mal’s crew, and a twenty-year-old woman who was going to laugh and dance and dine on rich chocolate cake and spend the evening with others her age who were hopeful of the future ahead.

As Simon spluttered and demanded to know just what had happened to River, Mal gave her his best wishes and Zoe gave her a hug and a motherly kiss on the cheek. Jayne raised an eyebrow at her and nodded, at a loss for words. He watched as Simon led River from the ship, announcing he would be her guest for the ball (he refused to use the word ‘date’, with all its connotations), making no attempt to hide the way he looked over River’s body.

‘Ain’t she a beauty?’ Kaylee sighed once they had disappeared.

Jayne, having been caught, muttered something about women and River being crazy and headed off. Giggling, Kaylee looked over the photos she had taken and gave a wistful sigh, remembering her own ball and decided to go and pull out her dress. River wasn’t the only one who could have a bit of fun that night.

*

After her birthday and the debutante ball, River snuck into Inara’s shuttle one afternoon while they were planetside and ransacked her make-up kit. She got away with half a tube of lipstick, a palette of eye shadow and a tube of eyeliner. As Kaylee helped Inara pick through the mess later, she couldn’t help but wonder why River just didn’t run off with the entire bag. But, on the other hand, Kaylee wondered why River wanted any of it at all- other than the night of the ball, she cared little about her appearance. In saying that, though, it was River, and everything River did had her own motivation behind it.

They were on Persephone for a few days. Inara had two clients booked, Mal wanted to pick up a few supplies and Zoe wanted to visit her mother and sister who had arrived at the same time. Simon decided to go along to see if he could find some med supplies as they were running low. They also had to wait for Badger to get their next job, and Kaylee didn’t mind; she loved flying but several weeks in the black made her love being on the ground just as much. Besides, it gave her a chance to work on the engine. A few bits had been rattling while they were making their landing, and things like that could grow into worse problems.

She was wedged under the engine, elbow deep in wires and circuits when she heard a banging on the wall. Calling out, she wriggled her elbow out and squirmed out from beneath the engine.

‘You gotta see this,’ Jayne said.

Without asking what he was talking about, Kaylee jumped up and followed him. Heading to the stair railing over the cargo bay, Kaylee looked down to see River below. She was wearing one of Inara’s petticoats, and the tulle swam around her legs, giving the idea of a long tutu. She was spinning around, moving to music that Kaylee and Jayne couldn’t hear.

‘Stay here,’ Kaylee whispered.

Moving quickly, Kaylee rushed back to her bunk to find her camera. Grabbing it, she returned to find Jayne where she had left him, eyes fixed on River. She was still dancing, moving gracefully over the dirty cargo bay floor. Nudging Jayne in the ribs, breaking him of his gaze, Kaylee motioned for him to follow. They headed down the stairs as quietly as possible. They had just reached the end when River whipped around, stopping a foot short of them, Kaylee’s camera already raised.

‘What were you doing?’ Kaylee asked, knowing full well. ‘It was beautiful.’

‘Dancing,’ River replied.

‘Why?’ Jayne asked, is tone suggesting she better give a good explanation.

River’s lips were stained red from Inara’s stolen tube of lipstick. The way she had pinned her hair back from her face, and the gaudy bright blue eye shadow and black eyeliner made her eyes seem wider, more intent on reading them.

‘An interpretation of fencing. A graceful form of attack. An evolution into its own kind, of beauty and art.’

They couldn’t, of course, expect River to give a straight answer.

Without a word, River stepped back and turned, going back to her dancing.

‘Chan fa kuang gu niang,’ Jayne muttered to himself.

Smirking, Kaylee snapped a few pictures, deciding maybe she’d give some to Jayne later. After all, there was no harm in admiring a beautiful woman.

*

Kaylee was working in the engine room when she heard Jayne cursing loudly. His voice echoed through the metal corridors and was promptly followed by Mal hollering at him to quiet it down. Slipping out from the jungle of wires, Kaylee bounced down to the kitchen, only to find River squealing and racing behind Zoe while Jayne, red in the face, glared at her, Kaylee’s camera clutched in one hand and a photo in the other.

‘What’s going on?’ Simon asked, appearing behind Mal in the opposite doorway.

‘That’s what I want to know,’ Mal added, heading over to Jayne.

‘The scoundrel’s playing with technology beyond his means,’ River sang playfully from behind Zoe. ‘The flash of light sends you on a dizzying trip.’

‘Girl trying to liang wang me,’ Jayne growled, shoving the camera in Kaylee’s hands. ‘Was going to return this to you and she goes about luan tiao out.’

Once he had left, they turned to Zoe expectantly. She laughed and pulled River’s hand from where she had been clutching her shirt. ‘Just as he said. Jayne turned around and River popped out from behind the couch in the common area and he chased her up here.’

Later, Kaylee found the photo Jayne accidentally took stuck on the door to her bunk, along with River’s spelling correction. Laughing, she added it to her growing collection. She looked happy; who could deny her that? Besides, River had taken a liking to teasing Jayne ruthlessly lately. That was enough to make her giggle.

*

River got hurt.

Kaylee didn’t know how it happened. A group of rebel forces on Persephone went and decided to go on a siege against the Alliance. They were there, getting med supplies of all things, when debris and shrapnel started raining over them. Simon was on the other side of the building when the windows cracked.

She didn’t scream or anything. Kaylee did and immediately started ducking for cover. It was only until Jayne went and grabbed River’s leg that she joined them on the floor. Her face was already cut open by then. She’d been standing right near the window when the explosion occurred.

Simon said later she was in shock but it didn’t seem like that to Kaylee and Jayne. Jayne later said when they’d cleaned up and River was asleep, that he’d seen folk in shock before. River wasn’t in shock, he said. He couldn’t say what was going on, but she definitely wasn’t in shock. She was calm; perfectly calm. Maybe it was The Academy training.

There was so much blood.

‘We gotta do something!’ Kaylee cried over the noise. She could hear the wail of medics already. River and Simon were still on the run.

‘Take a gorram picture,’ Jayne yelled, trying to find something to stop the bleeding.

‘What?’

‘Take a gorram picture so Simon can fix ‘er up later!’ He had managed to find some surgical swabs and was doing his best to clean the blood off River’s face as more dust settled down on them.

River passively reached out and grabbed a metal object and put it in Kaylee’s hand.

‘What’m I meant to do with this?’ Kaylee whimpered, clutching it loosely.

‘Surgical staples,’ River said calmly, rocking as Jayne harshly rubbed her face.

Kaylee choked. ‘I- I can’t! I can’t, di yu!’

Jayne snatched the implement from her hand. As another shudder went through the building, he pressed the stapler against River’s cheek and pressed down.

Simon vowed never again. They were never leaving the ship, unless it was to drop them off on some remote planet the Alliance never came to, and they would stay there. Mal sighed and Zoe told Simon to sleep on it. They were both still alive. They weren’t after him or River. River would heal. She was a strong girl.

Simon nearly hit Jayne. Her face would scar, she almost bled to death, she was injured.

Jayne growled that River was alive and he better be gorram grateful for it because she was the one that told them to shove the metal in her face.

Later, Kaylee found Simon sleeping next to River in her room. He had pushed her hair back, one hand lying just below the swollen, angry red skin of her cheek. He had re-stitched it, but the cut was still raised. It would scar; Simon was right. But it could have been worse. The dust could have gotten in. She could have been facing the window directly. She could have panicked like Kaylee, not known what to do like Jayne. She could have sat there, let them worry about it. She could have died.

Padding over, Kaylee touched Simon’s hand. He jumped, already awake and alert, ready for the Alliance to come and snatch his sister from his arms.

‘Come to bed, Simon,’ Kaylee whispered. ‘Qi.’

After much reluctance, she managed to drag him from River. She rolled onto her back in her sleep, head falling so her wound was showing.

As they passed into Simon’s opposing room, Kaylee glanced over to see Jayne asleep on the common room couch. He was too big for it, and his feet and legs hung over the edge.

They didn’t end up leaving Serenity. Simon knew they had no real place to go, and the crew would protect them. They were family now. His eyes always lingered, though, on the scar on River’s cheek, even as the skin paled. It extended to her ear, up near her eye and curved low down her cheek, like an arrow to her lips. Simon didn’t force her to hide it; River made no attempt to.

The Academy forced her to hurt; they forgot to teach her how to heal.

Kaylee wondered if River saw the scar as a reflection of herself.

*

Kaylee never wanted her camera to be used the way it had been. Simon had been asking her to take pictures of River’s cheek so he could see how it was healing from week to week. Kaylee did, knowing that Simon hated seeing it in the flesh, so to speak. River was patient, though, letting Kaylee tilt her chin to get a better view of her scar.

River’s eyes fell and Kaylee set her camera aside, her thumb brushing over the shutter release button.

‘River?’

‘Xing xing,’ she interrupted before Kaylee could say anymore.

‘Are you sure?’

‘The tide changes,’ River said, meeting Kaylee’s eye. ‘The cliffs are broken down and the shore worn away. The water still fits, though. This too shall pass.’

Kaylee’s heart still ached, though. She knew River was trying to make her feel better. It wasn’t her fault, Kaylee knew that. It was nobody’s fault, at least nobody on the ship. But she still felt terrible.

‘River... it’s never going to heal. Your face- ’

‘Is my face. It’s not me.’ She took Kaylee’s hand and pressed it to her cheek. A thin line still emerged from under her palm. Then, lighter, she added, ‘Jayne likes it.’

‘Jayne likes it?’ Kaylee repeated.

River nodded. ‘He thinks it makes me look du te.’

With that, she slid off the edge of the bed, all dancers’ grace, and slipped from the infirmary. Kaylee could still feel the rough edges of River’s scar under her hand, and she wiped it against her clothes, trying to get the feeling away from her.

*

Some of the lighting on the ship had started to flicker and in some places completely black out. For the past three days, Kaylee had been wedged in the walls, trying to rig the lights back up. She had managed to fix a good portion of the ship’s lights, and with any luck she would be done by that night. She was currently in one of the cargo bay’s walls, trailing along the wiring inch by inch, making sure it was all fused together correctly. She felt a little bit like River, hiding away from everyone. She wondered if maybe that this was where River came to hide- in between the walls, squirreled away, able to see everyone but no one able to see her.

Peeking through the grating, she saw Jayne and River. Jayne was holding one of the weights as River watched him, sitting on the edge of the bench, her knees tucked up and arms around them. They were talking to one another, their voices low enough that Kaylee could only hear the faint hum of their voices and nothing else.

Turning back to what she was doing, Kaylee went about running her hands over the electrical wires, and found another part that had been fried. As she went about fixing it, she heard River’s laughter, the sound bubbling and echoing against the walls Kaylee was trapped between. Looking back through the grates, she saw Jayne reaching up, his hand touching the side of River’s face where the scars were. Squinting, she watched as River leant against his hand, Jayne’s fingers running along the lines of the scars that were still raised, pale but still angry, a coarse red under the thickest part.

Tilting River’s head so she was facing him, Jayne’s hand continued to slide up the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her eyebrow. Kaylee leant against the grate, her fingers curling against it, trying her best so suppress a giggle. Jayne was leaning closer, and oh, how their mei-mei had grown up.

‘Kaylee!’

Kaylee snapped back against the wall, wide-eyed. Jayne and River were apart in an instant, both looking off to where Kaylee couldn’t see. She heard footsteps, and wiggled to where she could see Mal heading down the stairs.

‘Either of you seen Kaylee?’

They shook their heads.

‘Wuh de ma. You see her, let her know the lights are out again in the cockpit?’

The two nodded and then Mal was off, calling for Kaylee again. She sighed and rested back against the wall, twirling a screwdriver between her fingers. She needed to speak to River- it was only fair she got the whole story.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get a free moment until after dinner. The lights in the dining area ended up flickering out as soon as she fixed the ones in the cockpit, and they ended up eating over candlelight. By the time she got those back up and running, everybody had headed off to bed. She still wanted to know what was happening between River and Jayne, though. ‘sides, she had a few pictures of Jayne on her camera, and if River wanted any... sharing was caring, after all.

Giggling to herself, she headed quickly to River’s room, camera in hand. Sliding the door open, the room dark (well, if it weren’t her luck the lights were off there, too), she let out a delighted laugh.

‘So what’s the deal with you- ’

‘What- ’

The gruffer voice surprised her and Kaylee stumbled back. The flash from her camera lit the room up and Kaylee saw River fall back from where she’d been sitting atop Jayne. Her eyes wide, hair falling across her face, she shrieked, hands to her mouth, cheeks red, her delighted squeals muffled. Before Jayne could move, Kaylee was off, laughing loudly to herself as she ran up the stairs, her camera waving about in her hand. That scene seemed to answer her question well enough.

*

It was Christmas time again. Once more, they held another Dun Che Lao Ren. They hadn’t been planetside for two weeks, and they would be in the black for another three days. They would have to make do with what they had on the ship. Kaylee didn’t mind; she liked handmade gifts the best. Besides, it would be interesting to see what everyone came up with.

Kaylee got River. As much as Kaylee loved River like a sister, and despite how close they were, she had no idea what River was particularly interested in. Anything River wanted, she usually found a way to get by herself. Once River decided she wanted lights in her room like the one Kaylee had lined her bunk door with. She was the one who had fried all the lighting circuits in the ship. The next morning, Kaylee had found the entire passenger dorm sect sparkling with lights.

It was Inara who finally gave Kaylee an idea. On Christmas Eve, Kaylee called River up into Inara’s shuttle. The flickering lights from Inara’s lit candles bounced off the metallic walls of the shuttle that peeked through the gauzy curtains. When Kaylee looked at the photos later, the lights were scattered throughout the images, with lots of soft pinks and yellows.

Some of the pictures were falling from the album she put together. One was of River and Jayne necking in her room. Simon saw it and started hollering, while Zoe nearly fell out of her seat laughing. As Simon started going on about how Jayne better be careful or else he’ll wind up with a catheter, and Inara doubled over, tears in her eyes, and Mal yelled at everyone to be quiet, Kaylee looked over at River. She was still quietly going over the pictures, mostly stolen images of herself and the rest of the crew.

River lifted her head and smiled at Kaylee.

Ronon/Jennifer

2008-12-05T04:07:17Z

Title: Scent of the Fairies
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Pre-Ronon/Jennifer
Rating: PG:13
Warnings: Undressing, vague intoxication
Summary: They called the flowers miyu-miyu- scent of the fairies. Jennifer thought it was cute.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Notes: Written for lissax for part of sg_onesweetlove's Winter Ficathon. The request were:

1. Sunset and swimming on another planet.
2. Pain, fear, and comfort going both ways.
3. Being found in a secret hiding place.

I hope you like it, lissax!

It was their dream planet. The sort of planet that everybody in a team longed to go to, that they wished for when they blew out their birthday candles or saw a shooting star or caught a fallen eyelash on their cheek. It was almost unbelievable, and Jen didn’t believe it herself until she stepped through the stargate.

She’d seen pictures of this kind of paradise before, in magazines about holiday destinations. Images of Hawaii or the Philippines or Brazil sprang to mind. There were white sandy beaches that stretched out for miles, with crystal blue oceans and heavy palm-like trees casting long shadows. It was warm and slightly humid, though not uncomfortably so. The people were friendly, with dark tanned skin and bright smiles who offered to take her jacket when she started tugging on the collar and shirt sleeves.

The only problem Jen could see was the malaria-like virus that had started to spread across the village. The fact they didn’t speak the same language didn’t help much, but Teyla assured them that no harm was going to come to them. The Athosians had a similar dialect, she had said, though she did seem slightly confused at times and hesitated before speaking to them in the dialect. They were on a beautiful planet and every time Jen looked out at the ocean she felt her heart leap and the memories of saving up every little bit of cash she could afford while at med school for her dream vacation to Maui that never came.

It would take a while to vaccinate and treat the villagers, and Jen told John and the rest of his team that it might take the better part of the day. It didn’t surprise her when they said they didn’t mind and would pass the message onto Atlantis. Besides, they had already kicked their boots off and shucked their jackets. They may as well settle in for the evening. Although Jen had pointed out that it wasn’t necessary (it would only take a few more hours to make sure everyone in the village was cleared), John said there was no point in them going back. It was all to make good relations and sharing meals was a good way of doing that. Jen couldn’t really argue with that.

The locals provided them with two cabins made of what looked like twisted straw and planks of wood. A large dinner was planned, along with a celebration of new comrades and allies. They were given large fragrant flowers that reminded Jen of liliums. She breathed in the scent deeply and sighed; it was almost too good to be true.

*

The heat didn’t disappear, even as the sun began to set and the two of the planet’s three moons started to rise. The scent of miyu-miyu flowers that had been presented to them as part of the celebration grew heavy in the air. It was strong and musky and the bright yellow pollen stuck to Jen’s skin as she brushed by the large bushes that lined the huts.

‘What do the flowers represent?’ Jen asked one of the locals over the feast they held that night. They had roasted what she thought to be their version of a wild pig and it was peppered with spices and vegetables.

Teyla passed on her question in the dialect and the man broke into a wild grin. ‘Happy!’ he said, using one of the few English words they had learnt. ‘Joy! Many good tidings.’

Jen raised her eyebrows and smiled. Everything on this planet seemed to represent that. They were a happy population, and Jen could see why. They had remained untouched by the Wraith, despite the war, and their planet was beautiful and nothing short of paradise. It was only natural the beautiful miyu-miyu flowers would represent that.

As the party started to dwindle, the humidity in the air started to rise. Jen found herself wiping at her upper lip, sweat starting to bead there, and the hum of insects started to grow.

‘Night music,’ the local native man from before said after asked. ‘Happy time.’

‘Everything is happy here,’ Jen murmured.

‘Happy people,’ Ronon muttered from where he sat somewhere to her right. Jen looked over her shoulder to found him twirling the miyu-miyu flower he had been given between two of his fingers. Pollen was falling from it and a small yellow mound was forming underneath it. ‘Guess they’ve got a lot to be happy about.’

Jen opened her mouth to reply but decided to smile and nod instead. Ronon was right. The locals had a lot to be happy about. She couldn’t argue about that, and she didn’t want to. Casting her eyes over the ocean that glowed in the distance, she settled back onto her elbows, her belly full, skin warm and feeling utterly content with the world.

‘Wanna go for a swim?’

Looking back over at Ronon, Jen let out a small, questioning noise.

‘A swim,’ he repeated, nodding to the ocean. ‘It’s warm enough. Might be good to cool off.’

Blinking out of the ocean, Jen mulled over his question for a few seconds before deciding that he was right again. It was warm and her clothes were starting to feel a little tight. Moving onto her feet, she nodded and smiled. Offering her hand, Ronon took it, his larger grip encompassing hers. She ducked her head, feeling a little shy, but unperturbed as they headed down to the shoreline holding hands. The day had been beautiful so far and there was no reason she could see to make it awkward between them. Besides, Jen could see no harm in them holding hands.

They made their way silently to the shore, stopping just short of where the water was lapping at the sand. The tide was in. Stepping forward, she kicked her shoes off, and, still holding onto Ronon’s hand, Jen dipped her toe in. The water was just cool enough to be refreshing and to not send them into a chill. Putting her socks into her shoes, she laid them down on the sand along with her belt. Ronon watched her and, seeming to take her lead, he started wading into the water fully dressed.

‘What are you doing?’ Jen asked when he got knee-deep.

‘Weren’t you going to come in?’

‘Not fully dressed. We might drown.’

Ronon looked down and nodded. ‘You’re right.’

He stopped to shuck off his clothes. Looking out over the setting sun, Jen undressed quietly, leaving her underthings on before wading into the water beside Ronon who would thrown his wet clothes onto the sand. The curious thought of why she was so carefree about undressing in front of him passed her mind, but only for a second. The sun was playing tricks on the water and it dazzled her and she couldn’t help but gasp and point it out.

The orange light seemed to spread over the ocean, long streaks heading towards them. The waves rolled and the colours danced, flittering over the water. The two of them watched as the colours changed from orange to yellow to red and back again, with a whole multitude in between. Jen reached for Ronon, her arm linking around his, and settled into him, her cheek pressed against his arm.

‘Ohh,’ she breathed, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. It was so beautiful and her eyes were locked on it, and she was unable to pull herself away.

The smell of the miyu-miyu flowers filled the air until the point they were almost drowning in it. The sickeningly sweet scent seemed to flourish as the sun set deeper into the horizon. Jen licked her lips and she could almost taste the pollen on her tongue. Wriggling through the water closer to Ronon, she draped her arms around him, letting herself bob in time with the waves. His hands rested on the back and she nudged closer, chin on his shoulder. She didn’t know why she wanted to touch him, to have him hold her, but he was comfortable, soft, and she nuzzled against his throat, breathed him in.

Despite the roughness of his palms, Ronon’s fingertips were light, drifting over her soft flesh and running down, across the strap of her bra and settling on the small of her spine. Sighing, she nuzzled his shoulder, sinking against him. Her lips pressed against the crook of his neck, the taste of salt against her lips from the water. Ronon’s hands continued to brush over her skin, tickling her slightly, and she twitched with a hitch of her breath that turned into a giggle. Chuckling, Ronon did it again, making her squeal and try to pull back, though Ronon’s grip was strong and held her with one arm, his other tickling her until she was laughing hysterically, her back curved around Ronon’s arm, chin up to the sky.

Slipping his hand away, both breathless, Ronon held her there, letting her lay on top of the water as she relaxed. Her hand curved around his arm, her thumb stroking idly as she gazed up at the stars. Blinking, she tilted her head and moved so she was upright, Ronon’s arm still around her. It looked so different with the sun gone. The water was darker, blacker, the festivities of the village seeming to be miles away.

‘Where are we?’

The scent of the miyu-miyu flowers was bitter in her nose and she rubbed her hand over it, trying to get it out. Ronon’s hand pressed against her back and she whirled to look at him, momentarily forgetting he was there.

‘We need to get back.’

‘Back?’ Ronon repeated.

‘Back.’

‘Back where?’

‘Back...’ She gestured out to the shore, to the trees that masked whatever light there may have been on the other side. ‘There.’

Looking over to where she had pointed, Ronon nodded. A strong, cool breeze blew through the air and Jen’s skin prickled. The scent of the miyu-miyu flowers hit them even stronger. Squeezing Ronon’s hand, she led him out through the water and onto the sand. The tide had started to pull out and the sand was damp beneath their feet, crunching between their toes as they headed up to the trees, ignoring their clothes that lay there on the shore, waiting for them. Standing just outside the shadows that loomed due to the trees, Jen squeezed Ronon’s hand and looked up at him.

‘Do you think we’ll make it?’

‘We have to.’

‘What happens if we don’t?’

Ronon seemed to mull over the question before shaking his head. ‘We will.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

‘I’m not.’

She trusted Ronon, though. He would protect her if anything happened. Keeping her grip on his hand, she let him lead her into the forest.

But it was dark, and the branches of the trees grazed their skin, and the rocks on the ground hurt their feet, and the bitter scent of the miyu-miyu flowers made it hard to think and eventually Jen asked if they could stop. She was getting tired and it was getting increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. Ronon nodded, and together they looked for a place to rest.

They found a small clearing away from the miyu-miyu flowers where the grass was cool enough to cut back the warmth in the air. Settling down on his side, he pulled Jen close to him, where she rested her head on his arm. Nuzzling close, she felt him kiss her forehead before she let sleep claim her.

*

Teyla found them early the next morning. She was accompanied with one of the natives who gave a toothy grin when he saw them, snuggled together and wearing nothing but their underwear. When Teyla went off to search for their clothes so they could arrive back at the campsite looking decent, the native man, who Jen found out was one of the top leaders of the tribe, explained to them in broken English what had happened.

‘Miyu-miyu flowers play with the head. Safe spot,’ he said, gesturing around them. ‘Miyu-miyu don’t reach here. Moon makes things sad. Sun comes out, happiness comes with it. Stay here at night, no harm comes to you. Same with home.’ He gestured to the location of the camp. ‘Miyu-miyu don’t reach there. Don’t wander at night. Get sad, get lost. No one ever returns if they don’t find safe spot.’

They returned to camp once Teyla brought their clothes back and although John and Rodney asked where they had been, nothing was mentioned about the miyu-miyu flowers affecting them. They returned back to Atlantis, and although Woolsey was unhappy about Jen and Ronon wandering off, his mood lifted when John told him the trade agreements were successful. Once discussion moved onto diplomatic relations, Jen excused herself and asked Ronon if he would mind some tests being done to discover the reason the miyu-miyu pollen had such an effect.

The results came back three days later. Although the results could have been done earlier, they had been pushed to the backburner as Jen didn’t want anyone asking questions. He came to the medlab at her request and sat on the bed, an expectant look on his face.

‘The leader was right,’ she said.

Ronon tilted his head, confused.

‘You know, the leader? Who came with Teyla when they found us.’

‘Right.’

She nodded and sat down on the bed opposite him. It was quiet, early evening, and most people were at dinner.

‘So... what does it say?’ Ronon asked when Jen hadn’t said anything.

She bit her lower lip, eyes scanning the notes she’d typed out. ‘The pollen of the flowers, it appears to interact with the serotonin in our bodies. It makes us happier, more relaxed. Sort of like a drug. Once our body clock starts to switch over to night time, though, and melatonin starts to be produced, the pollen in the flowers has the opposite effect.’

‘It makes us angry?’

Jen shook her head. ‘Not necessarily. It seems as though the pollen is still infused with the serotonin, but it starts to lower in levels, and basically raise the adrenalin in our system, creating an artificial fight-or-flight mechanism. Which is why we started freaking out, I guess you could say. The longer we stayed near the flowers, the more adrenalin was produced, and the more the pollen interacted with the melatonin.’

‘Sounds complicated.’

Jen sighed and nodded, setting her notes aside. ‘I’m just giving you the cliff notes version.’

Although his brow was pinched, Ronon nodded, seeming to understand what Jen was trying to say. Folding her hands together, Jen bit the inside of her check, wondering if this news had made Ronon upset. That hadn’t been her intention at all.

‘It wouldn’t have made us do anything we weren’t comfortable with,’ she suddenly said hastily. Her mind passed back to Ronon pulling her away from dinner, swimming in the ocean with nothing but their underwear on, curling up against him as they slept. ‘Or anything we didn’t want to do. That’s not what the pollen does, it’s not a... If you wanted to...’ She drifted off, cleared her throat.

Ronon was silent, watching her. His eyebrows raised slightly, a smirk starting to tug on the corner of his mouth. Catching him, Jen’s cheeks started to burn.

‘Or... it wouldn’t have made us do anything we were uncomfortable with. It’s... it’s not like a, like a hypnotic drug, or anything like that. It just makes as happy. Or, or at least, you know... mellow.’ She was only digging herself into a deeper hole, and as a grin started to stretch over Ronon’s face, she knew there was no way of getting out of it. She stopped and licked her lips, deciding to go for another tactic. ‘Well, obviously you were okay with what was going on, so we were both sort of... okay with it.’

‘Yeah, we were okay with it.’

A couple of nurses drifted in, fresh from dinner, and started to make their rounds. Nodding over at them, Jen cleared her throat and moved to her feet. Clutching the folder in one hand, she smoothed the front of her shirt down with the other, and then pulled her hair from her face. Her cheeks her still red but she was feeling surer of herself. Turning to Ronon, she took a deep breath.

‘So... are we still on for sparring tonight?’

Standing as well, Ronon shrugged. ‘Sure, if you’re okay with it.’

The smirk still on his face, he winked at her. As the nurses started to move closer to them, Ronon slid around the side of the bed and headed past them, out the door. Jen watched him leave, the file still clutched in her hand. Biting her lower lip, she ran her thumb down the side of the file and grinned to herself, blatantly ignoring the way one of the nurses was staring. The miyu-miyu flowers didn’t make them do anything they didn’t want to, but it sure as hell made the things they did want to do so much obvious. And if Jen needed that extra push to wiggle her way into Ronon’s arms she was going to take it. After all, there was no time like the present.

Ronon/Jennifer

2008-09-21T08:50:13Z

Title: Flounder and Flourish
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Pre-Ronon/Jennifer
Rating: PG:13
Warnings: Nudity, brief, barely-there sexual arousal
Summary: Jennifer learns a lesson or two about how tides can change.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Notes: Written for sg_onesweetlove's ficathon. Prompt was "I can't swim.".

Okay, so it was stupid. She was the Chief Medical Officer on a different planet, in a different galaxy, and she was meant to be strong, capable and able to go in and rescue whoever needed rescuing. She was meant to patch their wounds up and send them on their way with a smile and a lollipop if they behaved. And she was good at her job- she knew she was. But Jennifer knew she wasn’t perfect at everything. She never pretended she was. The thing was, people usually only saw her in the medical bay, doing what she did best. She was rarely invited out onto the mainland, and during those times she always stayed on dry land. At most she dipped her feet into the water.

‘I can’t swim.’

‘Huh?’

Jen stood by the edge of the ocean, the water lapping at the toes of her boots. Ronon was looking up at her, reaching in so far that his chest was touching the waves. He’d asked her to come in to help him but the mere thought of drowning sent a shiver down her spine.

‘I can’t swim. I mean, I can a little, but only a little. I can... sort of doggy paddle.’

‘Doggy what?’

Jen made a rapid digging motion in front of her. ‘You know, sort of... paddle through the water.’

‘How can you not know how to swim?’ Ronon’s face was incredulous.

‘I never took lessons. Didn’t see any need to. We rarely went to the beach when I was a child and it wasn’t as though I went to many pool parties, and I was always exempt from gym when I was at school because of my extra-curricular... well, it just didn’t happen.’

Ronon frowned as he eyed her. He was knee-deep in the ocean, a stack of driftwood under one arm and a handful of soggy Atlantean seaweed in the other. Snorting softly under his breath, he headed back up to shore and handed the pile to Jen. Flopping down on the sand, he pulled his boots on, muttering under his breath the whole time.

‘Sorta thing I’d expect to hear from McKay.’

‘Yeah, well, McKay probably did it just to beat the other kids.’

That earned a short barked laugh from Ronon as he stood up and took the items from her. ‘Let’s get back to the Jumper before Sheppard starts yelling.’

*

It was all Ronon’s idea. He’d been staggered at Jen’s revelation that she’d never learnt how to swim. She told him repeatedly that it wasn’t a problem- she’d managed to survive that long without learning how to swim, right?- but Ronon had insisted. The next trip out to the mainland, he said, he’d teach her to swim. They lived on a floating city in the middle of an ocea. It was ridiculous that she didn’t know how.

The problem was that they didn’t head out to the mainland for a good six weeks after that. Jen had completely forgotten about Ronon’s promise to give her lessons. Though now the Athosians were having some sort of festival and they’d invited the people of Atlantis to come along. Jen had found herself getting caught up in work and finally getting caught up in the excitement of possibly actually having a fun day for once that Ronon’s promise had completely slipped from her mind.

The festival was actually quite fun. It was for some Athosian holiday, the name of which Jen never found out, but somehow that didn’t quite matter. After all, there was a feast, there was music, and there wasn’t any sort of danger for once. Jen was, for all intents and purposes, having a good time.

That was until Ronon pulled her aside.

‘You wanna have a go at swimming?’

‘What?’ Jen looked up at him, wide-eyed, wracking her brain and trying to figure out what he was talking about until it all clicked. ‘Oh- oh, no! Not now. I just ate.’

Ronon shrugged. ‘That’s fine. I’ll be right there with you.’

Jen looked over her shoulder to where the party was going on, and then back to Ronon. ‘While your offer is... tempting, I can’t. I don’t even have any swimmers on me.’

‘Swimmers?’

‘Y’know... bathers? Things you where while swimming?’

Ronon looked blankly down at her and for one frightening moment, Jen thought he was going to suggest that she swim in the nude. ‘Not a problem,’ he finally said. ‘You can swim in your underwear.’

‘What? I- no.’

‘Why not? You people seem obsessed with keeping too many clothes on.’

A flicker of fear crossed Jen’s face. ‘Are you wearing underwear?’ she asked in a hushed voice.

Ronon waggled his eyebrows, and, with a grin on his face, turned and headed away from the party. Jen watched him for a few seconds, her question mulling over in her mind. Ronon was daring her to follow him, she knew that. Besides, she had to. What if he got hurt? There were some of her nurses at the festival that had been granted leave, and they could take anyone who may get hurt while she was gone. If Ronon was injured and she hadn’t been there... well, it was unethical.

By the time she finally started moving, he was already a good distance ahead. Calling his name, she ran after him, trying her best to catch up. He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her, a wide, almost sly grin on his face.

‘So you decided to come along.’

‘Health and safety reasons. If you get hurt, I could be held liable because I wasn’t present.’

Ronon snorted but didn’t dispute her.

They walked in a pleasant silence together, though the further they got away from the festivities, the more unnerved Jen grew.

‘How far are we going?’ she asked, looking over her shoulder. The glow of the campfire was still visible, as was the dim hum of music, but if they went any further they would disappear completely. Not that there was any real need to turn around now- it only late afternoon and the sun had a while to go before it sunk into the ocean.

‘Almost there,’ Ronon replied.

‘Almost where?’

‘You’ll see.’

They didn’t have to walk long. Just around the curve of the shore was a small inlet. The sand was soft and pale, and, when Jen dipped her fingers into the water at Ronon’s request, it was warm.

‘How did you know about this place?’ she asked.

‘You remember when Atlantis had an outbreak of Kirsen fever?’

‘No... well sort of, but the memories are fuzzy. Why?’

Ronon nodded towards the inlet. ‘When I went here to get the enchuri plant, I came across this. Seems to grow really wild around here.’

She looked around, taking it all in. She could spot the enchuri plant, growing tall and heavy alongside small flowering bushes. The grass was surprisingly thick up until the point where sand overtook it and it gradually sloped down to the inlet. As she cast her eyes over it all, she heard the sound of Ronon wading into the inlet, the water splashing as he moved through it.

‘Are you coming in?’

Jen turned around. Thrown into a pile on the grass were Ronon’s clothes.

‘You’re naked.’ It was a statement, not a question.

That damn all-knowing smile was on his face again. ‘You don’t know that. You coming in or what? Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.’

She frowned, her lips pursed tight and eyebrows knit together.

‘If it makes you feel better I’ll turn and shut my eyes. You don’t need to get naked. I just don’t want you drowning because of the water soaking into your uniform.’

As if to make his point, Ronon moved around so his back was too her. Watching the back of his head for a long moment, she sighed and shook her head.

‘Alright. Just don’t... look.’

‘I won’t.’

She undressed quickly and quietly. Folding each item, she set them next to Ronon’s pile. Her jacket first, then shoes and socks. Her shirt went next, followed by her pants. Keeping her eyes on the back of his head, Jen slowly waded into the water, her arms wrapped around her chest.

‘You done?’ Ronon asked, turning to look over his shoulder.

‘Don’t!’ Jen squealed, nearly falling onto her backside. The water was coming up to her ribs but she still felt self-conscious. Her arms wrapped tighter around her, her breasts pressed uncomfortably against her chest. The water was starting to make her underwear see-through, and she was suddenly very aware of just how naked she felt in her white cotton bra. ‘You said you wouldn’t look.’

‘Not while you were changing. Besides, I’ve got to look at you if I’m going to teach you to swim, right?’

Her cheeks stared to turn red and she lowered her eyes and watched as her pale legs seemed to twist and turn due to the small waves in the water. ‘What if someone comes looking?’

‘Then I’ll stand in front of you and hide you.’

A silence passed over them. Curling her toes into the sand, Jen took another uncertain step forward until Ronon reached out and took hold of her shoulder.

‘Stop. It drops off quickly.’

‘Oh, I- ’

She finally released on arm and held it out. Ronon took her hand, surprising Jen with his gentleness, and reached out for her other.

‘First step is to get comfortable in the water. Don’t worry, I’m not going to let go of you.’

Her hand slipped around his shoulder, holding onto the end of his dreads just to stabilise herself. Ronon pulled her close, one of his hands on her shoulder blade, the other moving under her backside to keep her propped upright. Clutching at him, Jen closed her eyes as Ronon took a few steps back. She felt a sudden dip downwards and, letting out a cry, she suddenly realised she couldn’t feel the sand beneath her toes.

Yelping, she struggled against Ronon’s grip. Straining against it, the hand on her shoulder slipped away and she fell backwards. The water splashed around her, and Ronon lurched forward to pick her back up.

‘What, what’s wrong?’ he asked when he had her against his chest again, looking about for the sign of her panic.

‘I couldn’t touch the bottom,’ she replied, her voice shaking. She was clutching at him tighter than before, pressed hard against him. Her skin had prickled with goose bumps and she was faintly aware that her nipples were hard.

‘It’s alright, I’ve got you.’ As though to emphasise his point, he shifted her up higher and moved one of her legs so it was wrapped around his hips.

‘Can you?’ she asked quietly.

‘Can I what?’

‘Feel the bottom?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh,’ Jen murmured, slightly embarrassed. Pink-cheeked, she rested her chin on his shoulder, his thick dreads rubbing against her face.

‘I told you,’ Ronon said, his voice deep, nothing more than a growl, ‘I’m not going to let go of you.’

Nodding, Jen held on tighter though mostly just to stay close. She felt safe- she was safe. Ronon wasn’t going to drop her, she knew that. She was protected in his arms.

*

It started to rain half an hour later. Jen had finally clambered down from her position of being wrapped around Ronon, but she still stuck close to him as he tried to pull her further and further from the shore. They didn’t get too far- any time they moved too far for Jen’s comfort she started to struggle, though not as much as before. The sun was just above the horizon but dusk would set in before they reached the festivities.

The rain came down hard and fast, without any warning. It was cold and the temperature of the water in the inlet went down quickly. Shivering, Ronon eased Jen back to the shore.

‘We should try to get back to the jumpers before they start worrying.’

‘They wouldn’t leave without us, would they?’ Jen asked, having to raise her voice above the rain.

Ronon shook his head, an amused smirk on his face. ‘D’you really think so?’

‘Well, no, but- ’

‘Our clothes are gonna get soaked. You want me to get dressed first or you?’

Jen was confused for a moment until she remembered that Ronon was naked. Still, it didn’t seem to matter all that much right then. It was pouring down with rain and if they stayed waist-deep in the water for much longer their lips would start turning blue.

‘Let’s just get dressed,’ she sighed, wading her way up to the shore. It didn’t matter that her underwear was showing everything, and it surprised her how much it didn’t bother her that she didn’t care that Ronon was looking.

‘You know,’ she said as she pulled her jacket back on once she was done, ‘it’d be better if we didn’t put our clothes on.’

‘You wanna show everyone your...?’ he nodded his head, his eyes scanning her body.

‘No, I just mean health reasons. We could freeze.’

‘The longer we stand out here the more likely we will.’

Clearing her throat, Jen nodded. Together, they started off to the campsite, eventually breaking into a light run as the rain started to fall harder. By the time they reached the campsite, most of the people had left and only one jumper remained.

‘Thought you two had gone and gotten yourselves lost,’ John called over the rain, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Giving him a sideways glare, Ronon took Jen by the hand and helped inside the jumper. An amused smile on her face, Teyla handed both of them a blanket.

‘I do believe it is bad to go walking in the middle of a storm,’ she said coyly.

Ronon wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders as a shiver ran through him. ‘Wasn’t planning on getting rained on.’

As Teyla gave a soft laugh, Jen settled closer to Ronon. Resting her head on his shoulder, she shut her eyes and let the gentle rocking of the jumper as it lifted off the ground lull her, almost like the waves of the ocean.

*

It was a marvel neither of them got sick. It was a nice change that a mysterious Pegasus galaxy disease didn’t hit Atlantis thanks to her and Ronon’s swim in the inlet. She was surprised they didn’t return to find some kind of plant life growing from their backs- not that it would be the first time Jen started sprouting some kind of flora.

Although they continued to see one another, Ronon didn’t bring up the possibility of teaching Jen to swim again until a week later. She was in the infirmary, winding down for the night, when he came in.

Looking up, she sighed, though it was kind and a smile was tugging on the corner of her lips. ‘What did you hurt now?’

‘Didn’t,’ he replied, though he sat down on the corner of one of the beds. ‘Just came to see you.’

‘Oh.’ Flattered, Jen lowered her head as her cheeks started to burn. ‘Well.’

‘So, when you comin’ for your next swimming lesson?’

‘I’m not too sure I want to get rained on again.’

Ronon laughed. ‘If I promise it won’t, will you come?’

Resting her hip against the tray by the bed, Jen crossed her arms over her chest. ‘You can’t promise something like that. But okay. It wasn’t so bad last time, even when the rain started pouring down. But on one condition.’

‘What’s that?’

‘You wear pants next time.’

‘I can’t make promises like that,’ Ronon teased. ‘But I’ll try.’

Grinning, Jen pushed herself off against the tray. ‘So I’ll see you tomorrow, then? I heard Lorne’s team is heading out to the mainland to see how the crops there are doing.’

‘Sounds good.’ He slid off of the bed, the hint of a smirk tugging on his lips. His eyes lingered on her a beat longer before he turned and left the infirmary.

Biting her lower lip, a bright smile on her face, Jen watched him leave. Her heart fluttered a little in her chest, but she chose not to question it. She had tomorrow to look forward to. The memory of Ronon’s hand on her back still stuck with her, and the more she thought about it, the more she wished it would happen again. But now it could come true, and damn if that didn’t make the smile on her face grow wider.

Ronon/Jennifer

2008-08-18T04:37:36Z

Title: Ronon Has a Tea Party
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Mild Ronon/Jennifer
Rating: PG
Warnings: Tea parties with imaginary cake.
Summary: Ronon is forced to baby-sit while the rest of his team are doing things that don't involve five year olds, princesses or tea parties with beady-eyed animals.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis.
Notes: Please don't ask how this came to be. Just accept that it did and fear it.

Ronon doesn’t mind kids. Okay, that’s not completely true, he actually kind of likes kids. He likes Atlantis, too. Atlantis means food and a place to sleep and sometimes, if Rodney hasn’t gone and completely fucked up the heating system, it’s actually warm in winter. Not that it matters much since it’s usually quite mild all year round but it’s the point that counts. But he doesn’t like Atlantis so much and he doesn’t like kids so much that he’d actually go and baby-sit a kid just so Atlantis (and the people there) can make a deal. Isn’t that more of a Teyla or a Sheppard job? Ronon is tall and scary and if he shakes his head he’s been told he looks like a lion. But Jen’s trying not to laugh and she’s going red in the face and when she bites her lip like that, well, he gets a bit pathetic.

‘She’s gonna love you,’ she says and in a strained tone that says she’s going to burst out laughing the moment he turns his back.

‘She’s five.’

‘So?’

‘I’m meant to look like the thing that hides under her bed and grabs her ankle at night.’

‘A child molester?’ Jen asks, and her smile falters for just a moment.

Ronon staggers. ‘No! No, no, one of those… you know, those monsters.’

Jen snorts and doubles over. ‘A boogieman?’

‘Yeah, that thing.’

When she manages to right herself, she shakes her head and pats his arm. Really, she should know by now that that’s a sure-fire way to get Ronon to do whatever she wants.

‘It’s just for the afternoon. While Sheppard’s making the deal.’

‘Why don’t you do it then?’

‘Because I’m busy immunising the rest of the kids in the city and the poor princess is afraid I’m going to jab her with a needle again. Besides, she seems well behaved and if she starts hollering… well, I’m sure you could hide under her bed and grab her ankle during her nap.’ And with the she kisses him on the cheek and gets ready to start poking a hundred unhappy children with needles.

It’s cruel. It’s honestly downright cruel and when Ronon figures out just what he did to deserve this job, he’s going to knock Sheppard out.

*

The kid is five, maybe six. She’s short and chubby and dressed in some fluffy dress that looks ridiculous on her with its lace and ruffles and big gigantic bow that sits in the middle of it. Ronon feels as though he should be sorry for her but he’s too busy feeling sorry for himself.

A man steps forward who Ronon recognises to be the king or ruler or whatever title he had decreed upon himself. Ronon doesn’t care.

‘Mr Dex, this is my daughter, Peregrinus. Peregrinus, this is Ronon Dex. He’ll be taking care of your this afternoon.’

The poor frilly child even has a ridiculous name. She steps forward and curtsies with a gap-toothed smile. Ronon arches a brow but doesn’t do much else. He’s learnt that when he’s confused about what to do, doing nothing seems to be the best option.

‘Mr Dex,’ she says in an annoying high voice, ‘I do hope you enjoy yourself during your stay here.’

He grunts. It’s worked in the past and seems to work now.

The king/ruler/whatever claps his hands together and smiles. ‘You two are going to get along stupendously! I’ll return with your team before the sun sets, Mr Dex. Do help yourself to what we have. I know I’ll be helping myself to what you have!’

And before Ronon can question his intentions, the man was off with a flap of his ridiculous burgundy velvet coat.

He turns to unfortunately named Peregrinus. She’s looking up at him in contempt, her lips pursed and cheeks puffed out.

‘I don’t like you. You’re ugly. And your friend is fat.’

Ronon arches his brow again.

‘You touch me and I’ll kick you.’

He arches his brow higher.

‘In the face.’ And with that, she turns on her heel and storms from the room, her dress flouncing in a ridiculous ruffle-y way. Well, he has to give her points for getting straight to the point.

He’s willing to leave her alone, too. If he is allowed to make himself at home, as the king/ruler/whatever had said, then he wants to poke around the kitchen. He doesn’t want to starve. That’d be bad for both sides. Even so, it would also be bad to let little Peregrinus get in trouble and get hurt, especially in the first five minutes of her being under her care. And just how far can the kid go? She’s up to his knee!

He finds her in what he supposes is meant to be the library. The stack of books that line the shelves sort of gives it away. She’s sitting in an over-stuffed chair, cross-legged and a book in her lap. She’s obviously not reading it- it’s upside down for a start- but she’s making a damn good effort to pretend she is.

‘I’m busy,’ she says, even when Ronon doesn’t say anything. She looks up and does the puffy-cheek thing again. ‘Go away.’

‘Can’t,’ he replies, and the girl looks at him as though shocked he could speak. ‘Your dad wants me to stay.’

‘My father knows I’m old enough to take care of myself,’ she sniffs, her nose in the air. ‘You can go. I don’t need somebody to baby-sit me. I’m not a baby, I’m five. Almost two hands to count on.’

Ronon eyes the window. It’s winter on this planet and the sky is clouded over with the hint of rain on the way. He hopes that his team don’t get caught in the upcoming storm, though seeing Jen wet with her shirt sticking to her and asking to cuddle up for warmth-

He shakes his head and turns his attention to Peregrinus. Her eyes are firmly fixed on the book but he has a feeling she’s watching him all the same.

‘What if the Wraith come?’

‘They won’t take me, I’m royalty.’

‘Doesn’t matter to them, you’ll just taste better.’

Peregrinus’ eyes flicker for just a moment. Ronon manages to hold down the smirk that wants to so desperately fix itself on his face.

‘They’ll zap you up and force you into a gooey cocoon with the rest of your friends and family.’

She lifts her eyes from the book and eyes him. She looks as though she doesn’t quite believe him. It’s started to rain outside and Ronon can’t help but feel a little proud at his timing.

‘And when they get hungry and want a snack, they’ll go for you first. Because you’re little. And… royal.’

‘You’re lying!’ she snaps, dropping the book to the floor. It hits with a heavy thud just as a bolt of lightening lights up the room. Peregrinus jumps and pulls a knee to her chin.

‘No. I’ve seen it. The like the kids. Because they’re small. And little. And go down easily.’

‘Nuh-uh. You’re lying! You’re a mean old man and you’re lying to me!’ She draws in a deep breath and just before she can let off an ear-piercing scream, Ronon steps forward, making sure his boot hits the ground loudly.

‘Hey! You’re just going to alert the Wraith to your presence. I can try to fight ‘em off but seeing as I’m a mean old man, I might just let them get you.’

She’s clutching the chair that she hasn’t moved from. Staring at him, looking a little pouty and now a lot scared, she shakes her head. ‘You wouldn’t do that. You told me you have to look after me because my dad told you to.’

‘Yeah, I said that, but maybe I just want to kill your dad and steal his crown. And then I’ll leave you for the Wraith.’

Peregrinus’ face goes red and her tiny hands clench into fists. She throws herself from the couch and stomps over to him. ‘Stop it, you’re scaring me!’

Ronon shrugs and looks back over to the window. The rain’s still coming down and another bolt of lightening flashes across the sky. It’s followed by crashing thunder and Peregrinus jumps once more.

‘You have to make it up to me.’

‘Huh?’

‘You scared me and now you have to make it up to me.’

‘I thought you didn’t like me.’

Peregrinus sniffs. ‘I don’t. But you still have to make it up to me.’

Tilting his head, he squints down at her. ‘How?’

The grin on her face is pure evil. Pure, five-year-old evil. ‘I know a way.’

*

Peregrinus’ room is about as fluffy as her dress. The curtains are made of burgundy lace and velvet and her bedcover has all these little embroidered flowers all over it. It’s massive and far too large for a five-year-old girl. There are stuffed animals wherever he looks, and they’re all staring at him with their beady black eyes. He wonders how much trouble he’d get in if he were to perhaps and go and skewer them with his knife.

‘Mr Periwinkle, would you care for more tea?’

Ronon shudders and watches as Peregrinus pretends to pour tea in one of the beady-eyed bears cup. His legs are numb from the waist down and his back hurts, but he’s just glad Peregrinus hasn’t forced him into a frilly pink dress.

‘Mr Dex, you haven’t touched your tea.’

Squinting an eye, he stares down at her. He’s sure the teacup will shatter if he so much as picks it up.

‘I don’t like tea, thank you.’

‘This is a tea party. At tea parties you drink tea.’

‘Yeah, but- ’

‘You drink tea.’

Eyeing the tiny porcelain cup, Ronon awkwardly picks it up by the handle between his thumb and forefinger. Pretending to sip from the cup, he sets it quickly back down. If that wasn’t the most humiliating thing he’s ever done, Ronon isn’t sure what is.

‘Would you care for more tea, Mr Dex?’

‘I’m fi- ’

‘Would you care for more tea, Mr Dex?’

Ronon shoves the cup over at her. Good-naturedly, she pretends to pour more tea and hands the cup back over to him before returning to talking to her stuffed animals. He stares at the table, willing for some cake or something like that to just appear. The storm outside has since ceased but it hasn’t done anything to raise his moods. Peregrinus happily chirps to her stuffed animals before turning her attention back to him.

‘So, tell me, Mr Dex,’ she says, in what Ronon presumes to be her best “grown-up” voice, ‘what do you do?’

‘Do?’ he repeats.

‘What’s your job?’

‘I don’t usually baby-sit.’

Peregrinus drops her cup and looks at him. ‘You’re not really good at the whole talking thing, are you?’

‘You seem to be doing enough talking for both of us,’ Ronon replies, poking the delicate teacup.

She blinks at him and lets out a small harrumph. Ronon imagines that Rodney at Peregrinus’ age was much the same, only perhaps less annoying (but with the same amount of tea parties).

‘You’re not a very fun guest.’

Ronon shrugs. ‘Sorry.’ He guesses it would be a bad idea to retort that maybe she’s not a very good host. She’s only five.

And then she starts to cry. Big fat fluffy tears rolling down poor unfortunately named Peregrinus’ five-year-old princess cheeks.

‘Oh. Oh. Don’t cry, don’t cry.’

This really is more of a Teyla job. Ronon’s certain of that, especially when Peregrinus starts doing this weird hiccupping-cough-crying thing. Ronon reaches over and awkwardly picks up the teacup. Peregrinus looks up at him, her face all blotchy and confused as he clumsily pretends to drink from it.

‘Good tea?’ he tries.

She sniffs and shakes her head. ‘You’re no good at this game.’ Her lower lip wobbles and she looks as though she’s definitely going to start wailing.

Looking about the tiny table, he holds out a plate. There’s nothing on it but there’s nothing in the teacup either and if there’s one thing he doesn’t want it’s a crying, angry five-year-old princess.

‘Cake?’

‘What?’

Ronon waves the very empty plate. ‘Cake? It’s, uh, chocolate.’

‘What’s chocolate?’

‘It’s… it’s good. It’s sweet. It’s good. Try.’

She reaches over and takes a pretend piece of cake. Acting as though she were chewing it, she nods.

‘Good?’

‘Yes.’

Ronon smirks. ‘You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full.’

She makes a show of wiping her mouth and grins at him. ‘Good cake!’

*

The rest of his team return with Jen halfway into the evening, the townsfolk freshly immunised. The storm has since cleared but the air is still thick with moisture and it’s difficult to breathe, even inside, away from the heat that has set in.

Jen finds Ronon still in Peregrinus’ room. The tea party is still in full swing, though Ronon’s back is still hurting and his legs are still numb from sitting cross-legged. She laughs when she sees them, a surprised, entertained laugh. Ronon lifts his head, shocked to find her. Biting her lower lip, she puts her hand over her mouth, trying to stop herself when Ronon frowns.

‘What?’

With a smile, Jen shakes her head; her cheeks are still red from her laughter. ‘Nothing. Did you two have fun today?’

Peregrinus lifts her head from where she sits. ‘I invited Ronon to a tea party. He accepted my invitation.’

‘Really?’ Jen asks, resting against the doorframe.

Ronon finally manages to pull himself to his feet though he’s a little shaky as the blood flow returns. He forces himself to stay standing despite the fact his legs are threatening to buckle out from under him- he has to retain some dignity. Peregrinus follows him, that ridiculous fluffy dress rustling as she moves.

‘Is my dad home?’ she asks Jen in that strange, polite tone that sounds so odd coming from someone her age.

‘He’s downstairs.’

Peregrinus totters around them and out the door. After she’s out of earshot, Jen turns to Ronon, unable to keep the grin off her face any longer.

‘So did you two have fun?’

‘We had a tea party.’

Smirking, Jen squeezes his arm and starts from the room, Ronon following her. ‘Tea parties can be fun.’

‘I’m not five.’

‘And yet you still managed to sit down and have a good time- oh, stop pouting.’

‘I’m not pouting!’ Ronon exclaims, mock-offended. ‘I’m scowling.’

‘Oh, how terrifying,’ Jen says with a snicker as she slips her hand into Ronon’s, his fingers wrapping around her own. She’s silent for a moment as they navigate their ways through the clammy stone corridors. ‘So what’s it going to take to get you into my room for a tea party?’

He turns to her with a wry grin and pinches her side. ‘I could think of a few things,’ he says. As usual, it earns him a slap on his arm, but somehow he thinks it’s worth it seeing as Jen’s parties are a lot more fun seeing as she actually brings the whipped cream and her ruffled dresses are typically more revealing.

Simon/River/Jayne

2008-08-01T01:12:18Z

Title: Visionary Opportunities
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Simon/River/Jayne
Rating: NC:17
Warnings: PORN specifically incest, sort of-voyeurism and mentions of potential underage sex.
Summary: Simon deludes himself into thinking that he does it because he wants to help her, Jayne pretends that he doesn't care and River just wants to touch.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: For dooooooom's taboo porn-a-thon. Delicious porn. Delicious taboo. Wonderfully beta'd by worlddescending.

He catches them five minutes before they landed on Persephone. Simon’s been expecting it to happen sooner or later. On a small ship like this secrets don’t stay hidden long, and this one’s been going on for too long. Still, he was hoping it wouldn’t come out like this. Two fingers inside River, her dress hitched up around her waist, and Simon between her legs, hard and aching but they didn’t have enough time for that. It makes River think clearer, allows her a few moments of being able to be a young woman, to not hear all the chaos of everyone else’s mind around her.

He only barely heard the door open in time, but that’s enough. And then Jayne’s standing there, halfway through saying River better get her gorram ass up on the mule else Mal… Well, Simon never ever finds out what Mal was going to do. But Jayne’s standing there in the doorway, and Simon’s two-knuckles deep inside his sister and River at least has the decency to look surprised instead of fucked, which she essentially is.

Simon’s stuck between frozen and jumping up and knocking Jayne out with whatever he can find in his medlab. He ends up frozen. Jayne seems to be doing much the same. River, on the other hand, is curling her toes against Simon’s thigh, and her hands, which are wrapped around his shoulders, are pulling at his shirt. Jayne lets out a noise that Simon can’t define and that sets them moving again. He takes a step back, out of the room, as though in a daze. Simon jumps up, telling River not to move, and follows the man out.

‘It’s not,’ he starts, grabbing Jayne’s elbow and racing in front of him. He wipes his other hand, his fingers still slick with River, on his vest. ‘Well it is, but it’s not-’

‘I don’t care what it is,’ Jayne says, very clearly avoiding Simon’s eyes. ‘Don’t care what it ain’t, either, other than it ain’t normal.’

‘Yes, but it helps.’

‘Helps her or helps you? Actually,’ Jayne raises a hand and pulls Simon’s hand off his elbow, ‘don’t care much ‘bout that neither.’

Simon wants to argue it does help and not in the way Jayne’s thinking, though Simon knows that’s a bold-faced lie. Instead, he sets his hands on Jayne’s chest and pushes his weight into it.

‘Don’t tell anyone.’

‘Ev’rybody thinks you two are already strange. Not in the… guan xi sense, but…’

Mal’s voice cuts through the air, echoing on the walls, as he tells them it’s time to get their asses moving. Simon jumps as River’s tiny hand brushes against his shoulders. She looks decent, having smoothed her dress down and put her boots on. They share a glance and then River’s off, jumping up the stairs with a certain delicateness. Jayne waits a moment but before he can follow, Simon grabs his elbow and holds him back.

‘Don’t,’ he urges, hating the sense of desperation in his voice.

Jayne looks at the hand around his arm. He tugs and Simon loses his grip. Watching them go, Simon can’t ignore the sense of apprehension that ate away in him.

*

They ran into a spot of trouble on Persephone. Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly, Simon can’t tell) it wasn’t to do with the trade. Jayne’s mouth had run away with him, River had had one of her fits and Mal had tried his best to keep it all under control until shots had started to fire. Zoë got them all out and nobody was hurt until Jayne had decided to go back because someone had said something about his mother and wound up getting himself knifed.

The medlab’s quiet as Simon starts to stitch up the knife wound. Jayne keeps his eyes on the ceiling as Simon concentrates on the thread. It’s an almost uncomfortable silence, though Jayne seems to be more awkward. Simon wants to fill the silence, just to ease the tension. Just mindless words to flood the room. He can’t think of anything that would seem casual, though.

He doesn’t hear River as she pads barefoot into the room. His only sign is the dart of Jayne’s eyes and River’s cool hands as she slides them around Simon’s waist.

‘Almost done,’ Simon says. ‘River, why don’t you sit on the other bed?’

River presses her cheek against Simon’s shoulder blade, her hands sliding up his chest, her breasts pressed firm against his back. Now it’s Simon is making the effort to not make eye contact.

‘I’m comfortable,’ River murmurs.

Clearing his throat, Simon tries to refocus on the stitches. River’s hands, though, are sliding down his torso and plucking at his belt.

‘River!’

He can’t stop her hands as they undo his belt and start to unzip his fly. His hands are already full. He freezes as her hands dip inside his boxers, cool and easy, and pull out his cock. She pushes the elastic behind his balls, her fingers feather-light on his skin.

River’s hands move slowly, warming to his flesh, her thumb circling the head. Simon can’t speak, his eyes stuck on Jayne’s injury. River rocks up onto her toes and kisses the back of his neck, her hand sliding down his length, her other gently cradling his balls. Without thinking, he thrusts into her hand, a groan leaving his throat. He can feel Jayne’s eyes on them, the intensity of his gaze as hot as River’s mouth as she leaves a wet trail down the side of his neck.

Simon bites his lower lip as River gently squeezes him, her thumb spreading the precome over his cock. His head falls forward, heavy, his hands still gripping the tools, halfway through Jayne’s stitches. Anyone could catch them, and there’s no way Simon could explain it. Why he’s letting River doing it, why he’s letting Jayne see- why Jayne isn’t stepping in and doing something about it. He jerks in River’s hand as a choked cry escapes him. River’s hand is gone for a moment and Simon forces his eyes open. Jayne’s handing a tissue to her, and she takes it without a word. Simon comes into it as she settles hand back in place, her other, slick with precome, covers his mouth. His eyes roll back and she lets his head fall onto her shoulder, cooing slightly into his ear.

He struggles to catch his breath. The tissue is gone from her hand when he falls back into reality, and she’s tucking him back into his pants. She zips him up, does his belt up and kisses his cheek. Amazingly he’s still holding the needle. River leaves the lab without a word and Simon, dazed, finally looks over at Jayne. He’s holding the used tissue between his forefinger and thumb, frowning at it.

‘Just… put it in the tray,’ Simon gasps, jerking his chin to the pan that’s next to the tissue box. Jayne tosses it in there and wipes his hand on the bed. Licking his lips, the taste of precome on them, Simon quickly finishes sewing the wound up.

‘Keep it dry… clean,’ he says after a moment, pulling his gloves off. He can’t look at Jayne. Keeping his head down, he stumbles over to the sink. He’s never been very good post-orgasm. Unlike River, he can’t think, he can’t function properly. Leaning against the sink, he swallows hard. His mouth is dry.

Looking over his shoulder, he finds Jayne already gone.

*

Simon manages to avoid any lengthy contact with Jayne for nearly a week. Considering they’re in the black and won’t be landing for another three days is an achievement. They see each other at meals, and occasionally bump into one another but few words are passed and eye contact is to a minimum. But, on a ship so small, it’s impossible to avoid one another for any great deal of time, especially when one is on the hunt for the other.

Jayne corners Simon just before dinner six days later just as he’s leaving his bedroom. He grabs Simon’s arm and for a split-second Simon awaits the punch. When Jayne doesn’t raise his fist, though, he allows himself the luxury of relaxing just slightly.

‘What?’

‘I want to watch.’

Simon blinks and furrows his brow. He wants to pretend he doesn’t know what Jayne’s talking about but a sickening feeling in his gut tells him that he’s already hit the nail on the head. ‘What?’

‘I want to watch you two.’

‘You want to- why?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Yes, as a matter of fact, it does. You want- ’ Simon pauses and drops his voice to just above a whisper. ‘You want to watch River and me? And you think I’ll let you?’

Jayne’s expression doesn’t waver. He and Simon stare at one another for several long seconds until Simon drops his gaze and holds a hand up.

‘No. No, it’s a bad idea, a really bad idea, you weren’t even meant to- ’

‘I want him to.’

River’s gentle voice lilts over them, her eyes wide and face peaceful. She’s standing a few feet away, her head tilted to the side with a hint of a smile on her lips. Simon doesn’t know where she’s appeared from, and it still unsettles him that she’s able to do that, though not as much as it unsettles him that she wants Jayne to actually watch them. He wasn’t meant to know about it in the first place.

‘River, mei-mei, no.’

She smiles wider and she blinks up at him as though he hadn’t said anything.

‘It will help him,’ she says before breezing into her room and closing the door behind her.

Jayne’s grip on his arm is there for a few beats longer until the light in River’s room clicks off. His arm pounds slightly where Jayne had held him. Watching as he marches down the corridor and up the metallic stairs, Simon rubs his arm and slips backwards into his own room.

Nothing was planned, Simon tells himself as he shuts the door and flops backwards on his bed. Even so, that knot of apprehension that had appeared a week earlier twists inside of him, refusing to be ignored. Whatever Jayne and River were hoping for, Simon only hopes that it disappears.

*

He has River in his arms three days later. She’d been in a mood all day- the meds were working fine, but she was desperate to be touched. She needed to be brought back down, she had said in the middle of one of her rants; she needed to be reminded that she was still a girl.

She shivers in his arms, her dress billowed out around them, hiding the way his fingers slip past the elastic band of her panties and work her. She whimpers quietly, the only sounds in Simon’s room. The light is dim, just enough so he can see her, with her head bowed and her stringy, dark hair falling over his shoulders as she shudders against him. He whispers to her, asking if she’s okay, if she’s alright, and she nods, her tiny fingers clutching at his upper arms.

‘Coming,’ she whispers in his ear.

Simon tilts his head. She doesn’t usually speak much other than his name. He doesn’t have time to question it, though, because there’s a loud rap at the door. A moment later Jayne barges in, not allowing Simon any time to collect himself. Despite his pushing River doesn’t move when Jayne shuts the door behind him and Simon’s left with a lapful of her when Jayne turns back around and looks at them.

‘What are you doing here?’ Simon hisses, finally wriggling his hand free from the confines of his sister’s panties.

‘Told you I wanna watch.’

‘You- I didn’t think you were serious!’

River finally wriggles from his lap, her pale pink dress spread around her. She kneels on the bed, watching the two of them with an expectant look in her eyes.

‘It’s not polite to throw a guest out from the party when they’ve been so well behaved,’ she says simply.

‘Bu ke qi? River, he is not- ’

‘Don’t want t’ touch your sister.’

Simon turns around, a slightly incredulous expression on his face.

‘Don’t want t’ touch you, neither,’ Jayne follows up with quickly.

‘Then why- ’

The bed creaks behind him and River’s slim arms wrap around his chest, her small breasts pressed against his back. Her hands are cold as they unbutton his shirt and press against his chest. She sighs, her breath tickling his ear.

‘Because we’re tai yang guang.’

Jayne frowns. ‘I wouldn’t say that.’

Simon shivers as River’s eyelashes brush against his jaw. In one fluid moment she’s on his lap again, her legs around his waist. She kisses him, her lips soft and eager, urging him on. His hand curls around her shoulder, trying to hold onto his quickly disappearing resolve.

‘Mei-mei,’ he starts, fully intending to push her off, even when his arm slides down her back, tenderly holding her against him. He’s never been any match for her. Once she made her mind up, any plan he had was thrown out the window.

‘Ge-ge,’ she sighs in return. Her hands push his shirt off and it falls over the side of the bed. Her hands start to pluck at the fly of his pants, her lips trailing down the side of his throat, tiny high-pitched noises coming from her.

Opening his eyes, Simon finds Jayne sitting by the side of the bed, watching them with such a ferocious intensity that Simon has close his eyes again. His head falls against the wall and River let’s out a noise that could very well be a squeal. Her lips wrap around his Adam’s apple and he jumps, the sensation not entirely uncomfortable. There’s a jerk around his ankles and when he looks, Jayne has got hold of his pants.

‘I thought you said- ’

‘Not touching,’ Jayne mutters as he pulls them straight off. ‘Sister weren’t gonna get ‘em off on her own.’

He turns to River, her fingers hooked around the waistband of his boxers.

‘Silly boys,’ she murmurs as she wriggles, moving off Simon only long enough to tug them down. Jayne reaches over and grabs them as they fall around his ankle.

‘Knew you’d wear the silky kind,’ he grunts as he tosses them to the rest of Simon’s clothes.

‘Not silk,’ Simon replies, his voice surprisingly breathy when River squirms back onto his lap, her legs going around his waist. ‘Satin.’

It’s ludicrous, he knows it is. He’s naked and has his mentally unstable sister on his lap, while the man that has held a grudge against him from the moment he stepped foot on the ship is watching them.

River lifts her eyes, the tip of her nose brushing against his own.

‘Simon,’ she murmurs, as though wondering aloud about his name. Her finger traces down the side of his face, following the curve of his lip and down his chin.

‘River,’ he replies softly. His hands curl around the hem of her dress. She lifts her arms and he pulls it over her head. Just as he’s about to drop it he feels Jayne take it, setting it aside the rest of their clothes.

His hands wander down River’s body, already knowing her spots, what can make her sigh, what can make her moan, what can make her forget the Academy and all they did to her. His lips move to her breasts, kissing both of them, her pale skin, her messy dark hair curling down over them. She continues to whisper her name, her hands running through his hair as she trembles in his arms as his teeth and tongue tease her nipples.

Lifting his eyes, he watches her. Her eyes are shut, her spine arched, oblivious to everything but him. Everything but him, and that’s why he does it, that’s why he touches her like this, slides her panties from her hips and slips his fingers inside of her, just so she can focus on something, on one thing, and pretend and play like other, normal girls. She’s hot and wet and tight around him, his thumb rubbing circles around her clit. His name like a mantra on her lips, her eyes shut tight as she presses against him, wrapping around him in a lotus position, her hair everywhere and for a moment he even forgets Jayne is in the room.

Then the end of the bed sinks, just behind River. The hair is gone from his face, from his eyes, his mouth. Looking over River’s shoulder he sees Jayne, River’s hair wrapped around his hand, holding it back. He can’t speak, not with River around him, not as she whimpers in his ear for more, more.

‘Not touching,’ Jayne mumbles, as though not wanting to break whatever fragile moment this thing is. ‘It was getting in your way. Couldn’t see.’

Simon blinks, unable to speak. River turns to him, kisses him, clutching onto him.

‘Need,’ she begs, pressing down on his fingers. A lock of hair escaped Jayne’s grasp and falls down the side of her face, just past the corner of her eye and down her cheek.

Wordlessly, Simon nods and slips his fingers from her. She shivers at the loss, murmuring nonsense words as he wraps his arm around her hips, guiding her. His fingers are still wet with her, can still feel her warmth, can smell her as he rests his hand on her back. A small cry of surprise comes from her as she sinks down on him, as he fills her. She shudders against him, her chin on his shoulder. Simon does the same, holding her close.

His eye catches Jayne for just a moment. He’s still holding her hair back in a loose grip, his face unreadable. He’s the first to break it, looking back at River, the way her hips were rolling, the way her spine curves as she clutches at her brother, desperate for purchase. Simon shuts his eyes, slipping a hand between them and finding her clit.

‘Shh, shh, I’ve got you,’ he whispers, bringing her back to the moment.

He feels River nod, a faint noise from the back of her throat. ‘Always got me,’ she agrees quietly. ‘Always find me.’

A quiver runs down her spine and Simon presses his hand firmer against her back. He knows her cues now, knows when to hold her closer, when to let her go. Her hips stall and her fingers dig into his back as she comes, her whole body tightening around him.

‘Simon,’ she gasps.

He lifts his hand and brushes his fingers to her jaw, tilting her head towards him. Her lips find his, swallowing down the sounds she was making. Her breath continues to hitch, her fingers continuing to slide over his back, her whole body shaking until she calms down.

‘Your turn,’ she sighs, still shivering occasionally as she rides the waves of her orgasm.

It doesn’t take long, already so hard, her body already so pliant. He presses his face to the crook of her neck, feeling her pulse against his lips. He comes quickly, holding onto her tight, feeling her gasp in his arms.

The moment seems to stretch out forever, his mind awhirl with it all. He can still feel River in his arms, her breath against his neck. He’s still aware of Jayne, his presence so close.

He returns slowly. Blinking a few times, he finally sees River, her sleepy, smiling face still turned to his. She kisses the corner of his mouth and wriggles in his lap.

‘Simon,’ she murmurs again.

He brushes the side of her face, her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright, even as she yawns and stretches. She slips off his lap, all legs and arms. Jayne releases her hair and it falls over her shoulders in thick tendrils. Simon guides her down onto the bed and pulls the sheet over her.

‘I’ll be back soon,’ he says as he grabs his pants. ‘Have to clean you up.’

River nods and yawns, already curling in on herself, holding the pillow in her arms. Passing a glance over to Jayne, he jerks his chin towards the door, not wanting to leave River alone with him.

‘Wasn’t going to touch her,’ he mutters when they’re out of the room.

Simon shrugs. ‘Wasn’t going to let you have the chance.’

Heading to the medlab, he grabs a handful of towels and pours some water into a shallow dish. Looking over at Jayne, he leans back against the cupboard.

‘Why did you want to watch us?’ he finally asks.

Jayne looks up from where he was playing with a bandage, starting to unroll it. Reaching over, Simon snatches it from his hands and sets it aside.

‘I just did.’

‘Why?’

Jayne frowns. Simon waits patiently, crossing his arms over his chest. The question seems to be a struggle for Jayne to answer; as though he hadn’t given it much thought beyond he just wanted to watch for the sake of watching.

‘I don’t want neither of you on your own,’ he finally says. There’s a pause and Simon expects him to leave it at that but much to his surprise Jayne continues. ‘And I don’t want t’ take part in your sex… thing. But I like you two together.’

‘Together?’ Simon repeats, not entirely sure what Jayne means.

‘Yeah. Together. I like… seeing you two when you’re together. Like you match.’

Simon wants to probe more but Jayne looks as though he’s growing more and more uncomfortable by the passing second. He nods instead and settles back against the cupboard.

‘Right.’

An awkward moment passes between them as the silence settles in. Jayne carefully avoids Simon’s eye and jerks his thumb towards the door.

‘I’m- ’

‘I should get back to River,’ Simon cuts in, not wanting to know just what Jayne was going to do. He grabs the dish and towels and breezes past him, keeping his head down.

‘Hey.’

Simon turns and looks over at him, expecting to be thanked. ‘Yes?’

‘You should get something to tie her hair back with. So it doesn’t get everywhere.’

He nods, a little confused but deciding to just leave it at that. ‘Right. Thanks.’

Turning around, he heads back to his room, listening as Jayne’s heavy footsteps head in the opposite direction. Sliding the door open, he slips inside. River’s still curled on her side, the thin sheet draped over her hips, barely hiding anything.

‘River,’ he whispers as he tiptoes over. She stirs, her eyelashes fluttering as she looks over at him. Sitting down beside, he takes her arm.

‘Wash time,’ she murmurs and Simon nods.

He cleans her, watching as her eyelids close, her head heavy as she falls back asleep even as he continues to wipe the towel over her body. Once he’s finished, he sets the dish aside and pulls his pants off. Climbing back in bed with her, he tugs her close, her body sleep-warm.

‘Should invite him back,’ she murmurs.

‘Jayne?’

‘Mm.’

‘Why?’

River’s silent for a long time and he thinks she’s fallen asleep. Her small voice finally breaks the silence, though, as her fingers curl around his own.

‘Because we made him smile.’

Her breathing grows shallow and evens out as Simon holds her. He listens to it, her words echoing around his head. And, as he falls asleep, he realises she’s right.

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-07-19T03:47:27Z

Title: Ji Jie Qing Ren
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jennifer/Kaylee
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing particularly- a mention of violence and some mild swearing but that's it.
Summary: If the Wraith didn't attack the planet and if River didn't go and kick her in the face, Jen thinks that she never would have met Kaylee. That doesn't make her like the Wraith any more or forgive River for splitting her lip, though.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis Firefly.
Notes: For cross_my_heart's International Day of Femslash Ficathon. My prompt was Jen/Kaylee - after all this time. This is set in a similar verse to Yellow Wood but you don't have to read that one to understand the other. Again, I don't speak any Chinese so any errors are my own.

Part 1 Part 2

Jen had missed out on flying to the mainland. The first offworld team had been severely injured, and the second team had arrived back an hour earlier than expected. She’d been in and out of surgery all through the night and by the next day she had slept until the early afternoon. The week had passed without any incident otherwise and although repairing Serenity was slow going it was coming along well. They had run into some complications but Jen wasn’t sure on the details. Rodney had been ranting as she’d bandaged his hands earlier in the day that the hyperdrive wasn’t in line and the control crystals were all wrong and that that Kaylee girl had no idea what she was doing and that it should have never been installed in the first place. Later, when Jen was stitching up a gash on Kaylee’s arm, Kaylee was going on about the idiocy of Rodney and how he wouldn’t listen to her when she tried to explain she wasn’t the one who put the drive in, in the first place. She kept cursing in a language Jen didn’t understand but her mind kept going back to what Teyla had said- that it seemed strangely Earth-like.

The rest of the day was quiet. She finished the paperwork that had been sitting on her desk for weeks; she catalogued what medical supplies they needed and even got in another chapter of the novel she was reading. It was just a trashy romance novel, a typical drugstore bodice ripper. She didn’t even enjoy it, but it took her away from the stress of living in the Pegasus galaxy and pretend that she was some peasant woman about to be whisked away on a romantic (and sexual) journey by some well-to-do prince of a faraway land.

With so many teams offworld (it appeared a lot of their trading planets hit summer at the same time) and the scientists checking out Serenity either to fix the engine or just out pure curiousity, dinner was a quiet affair. She sat with Ronon and Teyla, Tagan in Teyla’s lap and gurgling happily. He was starting to babble. He was a talkative young boy and constantly making noises.

The scientists arrived back a few hours later, Malcolm and his crew with them. There were no injuries this time around, thankfully. Word had spread around that the hyperdrive would need to be removed though nobody appeared to be certain was to whether it was myth or fact.

Jen was making her way to bed when Kaylee ran up to her and grabbed her by her elbow. The act made Jen lurch and stumble a few steps.

‘Hey!’ Kaylee chirped. Her cheek was smeared with grease and her hair was falling out of the loose ponytail she’d tossed it back in.

‘Oh- oh, hi,’ Jen stuttered as she tried to regain her balance.

‘How’s your jaw?’

‘Better. Sore, but better.’

‘You didn’t manage to make it out to the mainland today again?’

‘No, I, um… the morning was busy and by the time I realised what time it was the jumpers had already left and… Well, if I could have I would, but I…’ She was rambling again. Clearing her throat, she tucked her hair behind her ear and started over. ‘The day just ran away from me. How are the repairs going?’

They had started to walk down the corridor to Jen’s room.

‘Slow. Your scientists know what they’re doing, though. The chi dun hou zi Alliance made it mandatory but no matter how much I argued and tried to get it out I couldn’t, ‘cause they wired it in good and those zhou ma crystals ain’t as good as the wires but they refused to listen. The say it’d work better but it ain’t caused nothin’ but problems. I’m tellin’ ya’, you guys rewired everything than your city here could be a whole lot more efficient. Crystals are good for some things, I’ll give ya’ that, but for everything else, copper wires been working fine for as long as I’ve known ‘em to be around and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.’

Kaylee stopped, finally noticing the growing looking of confusion on Jen’s face.

‘Sorry,’ she apologised. ‘Guess it was my turn to ramble. It’s all true, though, every word of it.’

‘I’d agree with you, but I really can’t say one way or the other. I’m a doctor, not an engineer. Mechanic, whatever.’

With a shrug, Kaylee just smiled. ‘Ain’t a worry. Next time you can rant at me at all the problems of peoples innards and all the gross things you’ve gotta deal with.’

‘You think you could handle it?’ Jen asked with a laugh.

‘Well… no. But you could keep on going long after I pass out if you want.’

Still laughing, Jen turned a corner and made a motion to her door. ‘This is me.’

‘So?’

‘So?’ Jen echoed, unsure what Kaylee wanted.

Swinging her arms back and forth, Kaylee continued to look expectantly at her.

‘What?’ Jen asked, still confused.

‘Jie wen wo.’

‘I don’t understand.’

Kaylee’s brow furrowed some, her lips pinched tight together. Her fingers wriggled by her sides as she shuffled forward slightly. Jen didn’t move, her eyes glancing down the hall as it suddenly dawned on her what Kaylee wanted. Licking her lips, she turned back to her, her eyes fluttering shut as she moved in to meet her. She could feel Kaylee’s breath against her lips, the gentle brush of her nose.

A loud barking laugh reverberated down the hallway. Jen jerked back, her hand slamming against her door. Two soldiers she didn’t recognise passed around a corner, waving to her as they walked by. Turning her attention to Kaylee, she opened the door and stepped in backwards.

‘I should…’

A look of disappointed passed her face but she nodded all the same. ‘Goodnight, Jen.’

‘Goodnight, Kaylee.’

Shutting the door, Jen flopped down on her bed. It was softer than the one on Serenity but not by much. It was hers, though. Atlantis was hers, just like Serenity was Kaylee’s.

Grabbing the novel she had been reading earlier, she flipped it open. She didn’t know how long she had stared at the same page for but her eyes had started to grow heavy and a headache was forming. Closing the book, she set it aside and sat up. The wooden carving the swan was staring at her from its place on the bedside table, as though waiting for her to do something. With a sigh, she set the novel beside the swan. Smoothing her hair back and taking a quick glance in the mirror, she headed from her room. She just wandered around the corridors at first, but she found herself turning down specific corners and heading through certain areas and next thing she knew she was near the rooms that the crew of the Serenity were staying in. Giving a nod to the two guards posted near their doors, she headed to Kaylee’s. She called out her name and a moment later the door opened.

‘Jen!’ Stepping back, she let Jen enter. ‘What’s- ’

Taking a hold of her, she pulled Kaylee into a kiss. A soft squeal came from her before she relaxed, kissing Jen back with fervour. Her arms wrapped around her, keeping her close as her hands roamed. As her cool hands slid under her shirt, Jen jolted back, surprised. Panting, she stepped back as Kaylee’s grip loosened. Her jaw hurt from where River had kicked her but her entire body was buzzing and she barely noticed the pain.

‘I should…’

‘Right.’

Stumbling backwards, her cheeks flushed and lips kiss swollen, Jen waved her fingers. ‘Goodnight.’

‘Hao shui.’

*

The Wraith attacked the planet that Lorne’s team was on. None of them had been killed but many of the people were taken and the damage was severe. The injury rate was high and Jen was run off her feet all day, more so than the week before. The hours were filled with patient after patient, and they all ended up blurring into one. A gunshot wound from a misfired gun, burns from a Wraith dart being shot down in close proximity, a puncture wound from falling and being sliced by nails. Even the rest that were minor in comparison- a gash along a woman’s cheek, a man’s broken ankle- blended into one. Jen couldn’t tell where one ended and the next began.

None of the doctors or nurses complained but by that night she could tell they were getting exhausted. The next team had started but Jen refused to leave, even when she sent the day team off to bed.

‘You need to sleep, Doc,’ John said as he came to check in on Lorne. He’d come out from surgery an hour earlier but he was sleeping. Stomach injury. Serious, but he’d pull through. Lorne was a fighter.

‘What I need is an extra set of hands,’ she replied breathlessly as she ticked another name off her list. It was the only way to keep track of them all.

‘Have you put in a request to Woolsey?’

‘John- ’ She spun around and stared at him. She had, over three weeks ago, but that was beside the point. ‘Unless you’re willing to snap on a pair of gloves and help dig gravel out of some kid’s knee, please leave. This place is full enough as it is.’

She didn’t mean to snap but she was exhausted. Her body was screaming for sleep and she was running on adrenalin and coffee alone.

‘How long have you been in here for?’

Jen avoided the question and called for someone to assist her with the rest of the patients. They were almost done, though none of them would be able to call it a night for another hour at least. Feeling John’s eyes on her, Jen sighed and turned around.

‘John- ’

‘You need to go to bed.’

‘And you’re not my commanding officer and this is not your department.’

She eyed John a moment longer, holding back the apology that was threatening to bubble over. John held up his hands, admitting defeat, but even as he left she could hear him muttering that she should be going to bed.

He’s been hanging around Rodney for too long. Or maybe I have, she thought bitterly before turning back to look over the next patient.

They were in the infirmary for the next eighty minutes. Making sure the patients that were still in there were comfortable and things were as tidy as she could make them while running on no sleep, Jen bid the night staff goodnight and the morning staff good morning. Staggering out, she took a glance at her watch (it was seven in the morning? Hadn’t she started at eleven thirty the day before?) and decided sleep was more important than food. Her head was throbbing and her feet were aching. She could already feel the blisters forming on her toes.

‘Jen! Jen!’

Unable to hold back a whine (God, no, no more patients, she thought desperately), Jen turned around, not even able to force a smile. ‘Hi, Kaylee.’

Bouncing over, looking far too bright eyed, Kaylee grinned. ‘Where you off to?’

‘Bed. Just came off a twenty…just under twenty-hour shift. You?’

‘Lao tian ye, was that the planet that got attacked?’

Jen turned back around a shuffled down the corridor, seeing Kaylee follow from the corner of her eye. ‘Yeah.’

‘Why didn’t you go to bed?’

‘I’m Head of Department. Sleep is a privilege, not a right.’

‘Yeah, but you could have done something wrong.’

‘Stopped heading into surgery somewhere around midnight. Most of the patients that needed immediate surgery were done, anyway, and in recovery. Got night staff to do the rest. Just focused on patients that kept bleeding everywhere after that.’

Stumbling into her bedroom, Jen fell onto her bed and started trying to kick her shoes off. It took her a moment to realise they weren’t coming off- they were laced up too tightly. Groaning, she lifted a foot up and started attacking the laces.

‘Hey, you got the swan!’ Kaylee chirped, heading over the bedside table to where the wooden carving held pride of place.

‘Swans have no place in the Pegasus galaxy,’ Jen mumbled as she finally managed to succeed in getting her shoes off. Flopping on her back, her eyes immediately shutting, she listened as Kaylee continued to bumble around her room. Her feet were suddenly grabbed and her eyes opened just as Kaylee was moving them. ‘What- ’

‘You fall asleep with your legs hanging over the bed like that you’re gonna wake up with a mite of pain.’

‘Oh. Oh, right,’ Jen murmured as she settled back.

‘Just relax, I ain’t gonna bite ya’.’

Letting a hum of acknowledgement, Jen let Kaylee pull her socks off and roll the cuffs of her pants up. They hadn’t spoken about the kiss they had shared but there was definitely tension between. Not the uncomfortable kind, no, and while it wasn’t overtly sexual it was definitely there.

‘You okay?’

‘Mm-hmm.’

Kaylee’s hands were working over her feet, her calluses giving her hands just right amount of roughness she needed.

‘Feet don’t stink?’

‘Better’en Jayne’s, that’s for sure.’

‘Mm… that’s good,’ Jen sighed. She was falling asleep, she knew she was, and there was no way she was going to will herself awake. Her exhaustion combined with Kaylee’s knowing hands were sending her on a one-way track to sleep and there was no way in hell Jen was going to stop it from happening.

When she awoke the sun was still up but reds and golds painted her wall. She sat up, feeling groggy but better than she had, and looked around her room. Kaylee had pulled the blankets up and her socks and shoes were sitting neatly by the foot of her bed. Rubbing a hand over her face, she yawned loudly just as the door to her room opened.

‘You’re up!’ Kaylee said as she entered, carrying a tray of food.

Jen’s stomach growled as she smelt it. ‘Sorry, I haven’t eaten.’

‘No problem,’ she replied, setting the tray down on the bed. ‘I brought it for you anyways. Thought you might be getting hungry.’

As Jen ripped the bread apart and shoved it in her mouth, not caring about manners, she took a glance at her watch. It was nearly five o’clock. ‘Shit, I slept all day,’ she said after she swallowed.

‘So did most of you medical staff. No need to worry, though, I didn’t hear of any problems.’

Nodding, Jen continued to eat, surprised at her hunger. Ravenous, she ate fast, unashamed at the display. Kaylee didn’t seem to mind or notice, though. She was looking around her room again, occasionally looking out the window at the ocean.

‘Is it always that busy?’ she asked.

‘Sometimes,’ Jen said around a mouthful of food. ‘Not always. We have our peak periods.’

‘Is it true the city can fly?’

Setting her tray aside, Jen hopped off the bed and crossed to where Kaylee was standing. Perching her elbows on the windowsill, she looked out over the ocean. The sunset was gorgeous. ‘It can. It takes an enormous amount of power and energy, but it can.’

‘Ni wan xiao!’

Pausing, Jen gave her a sidelong glance. ‘Is that… Chinese?’

An unreadable expression crossed Kaylee’s face for just a moment. ‘Why?’

‘Well, just, nobody in the Pegasus galaxy should…’ Jen drifted off. A silence passed between as Kaylee tried to avoid Jen’s eyes. She felt a lump in her throat and her hands started to feel clammy. ‘Where are you from, Kaylee?’

‘I- well, we’re always on the move, but I lived on one of the outer moons, on a farm with my mama and daddy and…’ She wavered off, her eyes fluttering back to the ocean outside. Clutching the hem of her shirt, she twisted it around her fingers, only stopping when Jen took hold of her hand. Looking back and swallowing thickly, Kaylee finally met her eyes. ‘Mal said not to say, that nobody would believe us and we’d all go to the bughouse.’

‘I’ll believe just about anything these days.’

Threading her fingers through Jen’s, Kaylee leant against the wall. ‘Lao tyen yeh… you know how when you pass through one of ‘em stargates you go to another place?’

‘Yes…’ Jen said slowly, wondering just where she was going.

‘Well… well, the Alliance, the, the government from where I’m from, they brought out these new hyperdrives, to make it easier to get from one place to another. An’ I didn’t want one, I told Mal that Serenity, she ain’t needing one, we get from one place to another quick enough. May get there a bit slower than those with the new fancy line of drives, but it’s a promised delivery. Don’t need anything new if it’s unreliable. Anyso, Mal agrees. Then we get a shipment for an inner planet and we get there and we land and it’s honest work an’ everything, but the feds, they go and take Serenity and whack a new drive in. Not only without our permission but we gotta pay for it, too! I tell Mal not to worry about it, next planet we land on I’ll be able to get it off. Only Mal don’t agree and then Jayne caused a fuss and suddenly we’re runnin’ from ‘em. So Mal says we should give the new drive a go and River says no and I say no, but the feds’re on our tail, so we turn it on. And we’re good, it’s kinda scary and it’s all blue, but it’s good. But then we turn it off and her engine just blew. I mean, you know, bao zha, and there’s smoke and fire and we gotta land so we did.’

Kaylee stopped, slightly breathless and red in the face. Leading her to the bed, Jen sat down beside her, her hand on her knee, their thighs touching.

‘Then what happened?’ she asked. Although she wasn’t sure just what Kaylee was going on about she was starting to get an idea.

‘Well, the feds didn’t catch up to us, which was the good thing. Serenity’s engine was all kinds of mangled but I managed to fix it best I could given what we had. We needed a few new bits but we didn’t have the money to fix it. So, while we were on the planet, we managed to get another trade. The Alliance, they’d revealed these new gates. Portals, they called ‘em. Your lot calls ‘em stargates, but whatever, they said they’d built ‘em and worked ‘em out and tried ‘em and so on. But some of ‘em were bigger, really, really bigger, like big enough for Serenity to get through. Only catch was you had to pay to get through ‘em. Bi bing tui sorta money. But the person, he was gonna pay us a lot and it was gonna cost a lot to repair her. So’s Mal says okay, and while we were on the planet, I managed to get the new parts to fix Serenity and there was still enough money for us to eat. We got the deal and off we went. But the feds caught up to us again. Had our names, details, everything and they were gonna go and take River and Simon away. They were just lookin’ for someone to pick on, seeing as they hadn’t had a lot of go-se to deal with lately. So they start chasing us, and we managed to get to a planet to land on and there was one of ‘em big gates. The fed’s ship wouldn’t fit through it but we would and so Mal tells River to start dialling. So she’s dialling and everyone’s freaking out and she finally gets an address. But she says we shouldn’t go through, and sometimes River don’t make no sense but the feds had found us, so we get back into the ship and we go though and next thing we’re here.’

‘Here?’

‘Here.’

‘What’s here?’

‘Li shi xue!’

‘What’s that?’

‘The past.’

‘The- ’

‘Apparently you can travel through time, too, through the gates.’

‘Yeah, I’ve heard of that…’ Jen drifted off, still confused. ‘So… you’re from the future? How far?’

‘Five hundred years, goin’ by what I’ve seen around here. We weren’t really sure ‘til now. We haven’t told anyone and we don’t know how we’re gonna get back.’ Lifting her head, she looked at Jen hopefully.

‘There… there are ways. I don’t know all about it, but… It’s apparently caused by a solar flare. I only know of two cases- one here and one… well, it can happen. I’m sure we could find some kind of program that could help determine the solar flares that might get you happen but I really can’t be certain. There’s no harm in trying, though.’

Kaylee nodded, her weight against Jen. ‘That’s okay. It’s not entirely bad here. I miss home and everything, but it’s safer here. Well, when the Wraith ain’t trying to eat us. We’re still gettin’ jobs and we don’t have the feds trying to get us.’

‘You should tell someone, see if we can do something.’

‘The cap’n wouldn’t be too happy seeing as I’ve gone and told you. It was meant to be a secret.’

‘Kaylee.’

‘Okay!’ Kaylee nodded and stood, looking a little more certain of herself. ‘You’re right. If we can get home then we should try.’

‘Exactly.’

Kaylee grinned and bent down, kissing Jen hard. ‘I’ll let you know what I find out,’ she said before running from the room with a skip in her step.

Jen had no idea whether it would turn out the way Kaylee wanted but she hoped whatever result came about that it would make her happy.

*

They weren’t able to find any way to predict a solar flare the size that would be needed to send them back into the future. Once Kaylee had told Malcolm what time they were in and that there was the possibility that they might be able to get home a discussion had taken place. What it boiled down to was that the technology was simply far too advanced to predict a sizeable solar flare and they didn’t yet have the gate technology to build one the size to send their ship through. John made a vague comment a while later about Rodney dedicating his life to it and although Rodney demanded to know what he was going on about John didn’t elaborate.

‘I’m sorry,’ Jen said the next day.

The sun was setting. She’d found Kaylee on one of the balconies near her room. The air was warm, a hint that summer was on its way.

‘It was worth a shot.’

‘True.’ Jen was quiet as she looked out over the ocean. There were similar whale-type creatures on this planet as there had been on Lantea. She could see their silhouettes in the water as they swam about, a mother and her child. ‘I heard you finished work on Serenity today.’

‘Yeah. My girl’s back in the sky.’

Jen shifted slightly, her hand hesitantly brushing against Kaylee’s. When she didn’t pull away she moved her hand further, half on top of hers. Kaylee’s fingers squeezed around Jen’s, her lips curving into a smile as she continued to look out over the ocean.

‘I meant it, ya’ know, when I said it’s not bad here. I like it. Not just here, I don’t think we’re staying here permanently, but this time. We don’t have Wraith or anything where I’m from, we didn’t even know there were people here. The Alliance, they all…’ Kaylee shook her head. ‘It’ll take some getting used to but… trade’s good. And the new drive that’s been put in, it might actually not break. Mal’s hopin’ to do some trade with your people, too. We might get to see one another again!’

Laughing, surprising herself with how happy she actually sounded, Jen gripped Kaylee’s hand a little tighter. ‘I’m sure we will. Given the display you made when you landed you’d be pretty hard to miss.’

‘We like to make an entrance. Biao bang!’

‘Does everybody speak Chinese where you’re from?’

‘Course,’ Kaylee replied. ‘I was surprised to find out that most people here only speak one language.’

‘Well, I could see why that would be a surprise.’

‘The water’s beautiful here. We should go swimming.’

‘When are you leaving?’

‘Tomorrow.’

‘I can’t, then. I’m on duty tonight.’

‘Oh…’ Kaylee’s face fell.

‘Still,’ Jen continued on. She shifted somewhat, her hip against the balcony, her hand trailing over the back of Kaylee’s. ‘You can always come back, especially if you’re going to be trading with us now.’

Arching her brow, a playful smirk crossed Kaylee’s face. ‘I’m sure something could be arranged,’ she replied with a chuckle.

Stroking Kaylee’s hair away from her face, she drew her in for a kiss. Yeah, something could be arranged, she certain of it.

*

Kaylee dropped by early the next morning. Jen was still working in the infirmary. There had been a lull but there were still patients from the attack under her care that she was keeping an eye on.

‘We’re off in half an hour,’ Kaylee said after Jen managed to sit down.

‘Oh…’ Jen checked her watch. ‘It’s only four.’

Kaylee sat down opposite her. Their knees brushed but neither made a move to pull away. ‘Mal wants to head out early. Woolsey- that’s his name, ain’t it?- ’pparently he wants to trade with us. Mal managed to make the deal last night so we’re heading off early. Gotta be on good relations!’

Crossing her legs, her foot swinging against Kaylee’s thigh, Jen leant forward. ‘I guess that means you’ll be coming back, then?’

‘Looks like it.’

‘Let’s just hope River doesn’t kick me again.’

Kaylee laughed, her hand on Jen’s. ‘I’ll make sure it don’t happen again.’

Jen was silent as Kaylee’s thumb brushed over the back of her hand, the only noise in the dimly-lit room being the beep of heart monitors and the odd cough from the one of the sleeping patients.

‘I should probably get going,’ Kaylee eventually said.

Jen glanced around. She could see one of her nurses starting her rounds at the opposite end of the room.

‘I’ll walk you to the jumper bay,’ she said, switching off the lamp by her desk. Heading to the door with Kaylee she waved over the nurse, calling out softly that she’d return soon.

The hallway was empty. Jen took Kaylee’s hand in her own, holding it as they walked to the jumper bay. Kaylee slowed as they neared it, her hand trailing up Jen’s arm.

‘You sure you don’t need to go back to the med bay so soon?’

Jen nodded, a little reluctantly. ‘They’d want to know why I was flying over.’

‘Right…’ Kaylee stopped near the corner that led to the jumper bay. Tucking her hair behind her ear, her other hand still holding Jen’s, she gave a smile. ‘Well, I’ll be seein’ you again, anyhow. Bu yong jiu.’

‘I don’t know what you just said but I’ll agree with it anyway.’

Kaylee laughed loud, her entire body shaking. Jen chuckled a little quieter though a wide smile had fixed itself on her face. Turning to face her, Kaylee cupped the back of her neck and drew her in for a kiss. A flicker of fear passed through Jen at the thought of someone catching them but she relaxed quickly, letting herself get pulled deeper into it, her arms wrapping around her waist. Kaylee pressed up close to her, her hand trailing down Jen’s back, settling on the curve of her spine. Kaylee broke the kiss first, though her lips continued to brush feather-light on Jen’s, a gentle nip with her teeth. A promise of more, a promise that she’d return.

‘I’ll see you soon, then,’ she whispered after a moment.

Jen nodded, unwillingly releasing her. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

‘What would that involve?’

‘Anything involving large explosions, gunfire and being the main course for a Wraith.’

A giggle came from Kaylee as she took a step back. She was still gripping Jen’s hand, not wanting to let go. Jen gave her a light push.

‘Go. I don’t want you getting in trouble for my sake.’

With a nod Kaylee finally released her grip. Blowing her a kiss, she jogged backwards before she disappeared around the corner and out of Jen’s sight.

*

They received message two weeks later that their cargo (bulk medical supplies for one of their usual trading partners in return for some of their native fruits and grains) had arrived at its destination. They would be returning within the next ten days with the food before heading off for their next delivery. Somehow it had managed to be kept a secret that they were from the future, yet everybody was still interested in seeing them again. After much discussion it was decided that the crew of Serenity would stay for the day.

Although it wouldn’t be for another ten days, Jen found herself brighten at the prospect of seeing Kaylee again. They hadn’t known each other all that long but even so she found her heart skip a beat and a tingle run down her spine at the mere idea of being in her company again.

She scheduled the day off and gave her staff notice. She’d still technically be on call- if there were an emergency she’d have to be there seeing as she was the Head of Department- but at least she wouldn’t have to be doing what they’d dubbed as clinic duty. She cleaned her room, just in case. She knew they’d only have one shot at this and dammit if she wasn’t going to make a real effort.

Then, the only thing left to do was wait. Although she was typically a patient person the ten days couldn’t pass by quick enough. Finally, though, it was time. She saw the belly of Serenity as it flew overhead and to the mainland. Sheppard’s team flew over in a jumper, as did Lorne’s. They returned not only with a crateful of food but also with the crew of the Serenity. Jen was waiting for her, just outside the jumper bay, Woolsey already inside and greeting the arrivals.

River came out first, Simon on her tail and telling her they should wait. Jen shifted back, her eyes glancing down to her heavily booted feet.

‘I’m not going to kick you,’ she said, watching her.

‘I’m not going to sedate you, then,’ Jen replied.

River just blinked at her and continued on her way, Simon still trailing after her. Jen watched them go, a sigh of relief coming from her. She was about to turn back around when a pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders. She was tugged backwards; a kiss on one of her cheeks then the other.

‘Toldja I’d come back!’

Jen pulled Kaylee aside as the crate was carried out, one of the apple-liked fruits falling over the edge. Kaylee picked it up and tossed it from hand to hand, her eyes bright and on Jen.

‘So whatcha doin’ today?’

Folding her hands behind her back, she leant against the wall, unable to keep the smirk from her lips. ‘I took the day off.’

‘Que shi? So… you gonna come to the mainland, then?’

Jen’s grin grew. ‘Sure.’

Looping her arm through Jen’s, Kaylee hopped down the hallway, a skip in her step. She took a massive bite from the fruit, her lips stained pink from the sweet juice. ‘Shiny! Let’s eat first, though, I’m ji e.’

Leaning against her, Jen just nodded, savouring the moment. It was only one day together but it could easily lead to more days like this one. Clutching her hand a little tighter, she looked over at her only to find Kaylee already looking back. Giving her hand a light squeeze, Jen led her to the cafeteria. Her heart had started to flutter again and although she was aware people might look, she didn’t care. She could worry another day; that day was for them and them only.

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-07-19T03:45:29Z

Title: Ji Jie Qing Ren
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jennifer/Kaylee
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothing particularly- a mention of violence and some mild swearing but that's it.
Summary: If the Wraith didn't attack the planet and if River didn't go and kick her in the face, Jen thinks that she never would have met Kaylee. That doesn't make her like the Wraith any more or forgive River for splitting her lip, though.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis Firefly.
Notes: For cross_my_heart's International Day of Femslash Ficathon. My prompt was Jen/Kaylee - after all this time. This is set in a similar verse to Yellow Wood but you don't have to read that one to understand the other. Again, I don't speak any Chinese so any errors are my own.

The links to part one and part two can be found here. The link to part two can be found at the bottom of this section, and the link to part one can be found at the beginning of part two.

Part 1 Part 2

P27-4TX was, for all intents and purposes, a trading planet. Few people lived there and the numbers dropped significantly in the winter months when the planet was covered in several inches of snow and ice. Only the most desperate of traders stuck it out during that time. But once the snow melted and the trees started to sprout their leaves the people returned to hawk off their goods for prices much higher than they were worth.

A particularly bad winter had passed over the planet and Jennifer had been called to treat those that had stayed behind, willingly or because the gate had been shut out due to a massive snowdrift. Surprisingly there was minimal frostbite and most of the injuries were caused by a rough storm that had occurred towards the end of the season. Lingering injuries, nothing too serious, but the townsfolk were appreciative nonetheless.

‘You have to come back,’ they told her as she was about leave with Sheppard’s team. ‘Pretty girl like you needs pretty things.’

Although Jen never intended to return- travelling through the gate always made her a bit anxious and more than a little nauseous- John reported two weeks later once the snow had melted and the traders returned that there really were some things there that might be of interest or use to Atlantis. If they continued to provide medical care to the locals, or even fruits or vegetables or even, dare the idea even be suggested, chocolate, then they may actually benefit from the arrangement. A team would head out every few weeks when new shipments arrived and see what they could find. Soon enough, though, other people would go with them on their days off and would come back with trinkets and carvings and, more frequently, some kind of treacle that looked disgusting but really added something special to pancakes.

They had been trading with P27-4TX for close to two months when Jen was asked to go back there. Sheppard’s team was heading to the planet again- Radek had returned from one trip with word that there was a device that may be of some use against the Wraith. Although he had been dismissive of first, it had piqued Rodney’s interested and he had been on John’s back to let them return to the planet. John had finally relented but when they asked just what the traders wanted for it, Jen had been pulled into the mix. They wanted medical supplies. They were a travelling group of traders and their supplies were running low. They didn’t need anything out of the ordinary, just the basics would do. Packing her bag full of what they could spare and some first-aid necessities, Jen was ready to go.

The village was much more alive and bustling than when Jen had been there two months earlier. The weather was also a lot warmer and the sun had finally appeared. The marketplace was busy when she and the rest of Sheppard’s team arrived and it was hard not to get caught up in the thick of it. As John went to hunt down the traders with the possible Wraith-deterring device, Jen, along with the rest of the team went to poke through what was on offer.

To Jen it reminded her of the flea markets back in Wisconsin that she’d go to with her mother on Sundays before she got sick. There really was nothing worth buying- just knick-knacks, maybe the odd gypsy skirt, a pair of badly fitting moccasins- but what they lacked in craftsmanship they made up for in charm. Several female team members had returned with necklaces and earrings and the like, made out of shells and bone and polished stones. Try as she might, though, Jen couldn’t find anything like them.

‘They’re not here yet,’ John announced once he had called them back together. ‘I spoke around to a few of the other traders and they said they should be here soon.’

‘Soon?’ Rodney repeated. ‘When is soon?’

John narrowed his brow and eyed Rodney. ‘Soon is when they arrive here. In the meantime I suggest we just wait.’

‘Well, it’s not like we can do much else,’ Rodney spluttered.

‘How will we know when they arrive?’ Teyla asked, clearly ignoring Rodney’s display of irritation.

Shrugging, John looked over at the stalls before turning back to Teyla. ‘They said we’d know. Apparently they make a bit of an impression.’ Adjusting his pack, John jerked his chin towards one of the stalls that were offering various kinds of breads and cakes. ‘In the meanwhile I suggest we settle in. Make ourselves friendly with the folk here.’

*

The cakes they bought were rich and moist and nearly melted in Jen’s mouth. They were almost sickeningly sweet but so delicious that she couldn’t stop from eating them.

‘Zelenka said they were good,’ Rodney said as he sat with her and Teyla.

‘They are,’ Jen said, licking her thumb.

‘He also said they had citrus in them. He just doesn’t want me having any.’

‘Are you sure Radek is not just looking out for your well being?’ Teyla asked, picking at her slice.

‘Ha! Sure. He’s been holding a grudge after me ever since he realised Carter preferred me over him.’

Jen and Teyla shared a glance.

‘I’m not tasting anything like citrus, Rodney,’ Jen said, eyeing her cake.

‘It’s probably in trace amounts. Even the most minute- ’

A sudden gust of wind and a giant roar of an engine cut him off. Dirt and dust flew into the air and Jen covered her eyes with her arm to stop any from getting in her eyes. Her hair blew with the force, whipping around her face. The wind stopped as soon as it started and the roar died down. Sand covered the table and the remains of her and Teyla’s cake. Shaking her hair, granules of dirt going everywhere, Jen couldn’t help but stare in dismay at what remained of her lunch.

‘Hey, you think those are the traders?’ Rodney asked, pointing off behind Jen.

Turning her head, Jen saw a ship barely a hundred meters away. It looked old, patched-up and as though it had seen better days.

‘It does make an impression,’ Teyla commented, sounding more than a little unimpressed. ‘Their arrival leaves much to be desired.’

‘Alright folks,’ John announced, clapping Rodney on the shoulder as he passed, Ronon tailing behind with a slice of cake of his own. ‘That’s them.’

‘You sure?’ Jen asked, a little uncertainly as she picked up her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

‘By the language the traders are sprouting I’d say so,’ Ronon replied, unable to keep the laughter from his voice.

‘We’re looking for a man named Reynolds,’ John said as they headed over.

Lingering a small distance from the ship with a few other people who had never seen it before, the name ‘SERENITY’ blazoned on the side, Jen couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit of apprehension. By the looks of it John was feeling the same; his hand was resting on his gun, his eyes never leaving the ship as the cargo door bays opened.

‘We could just leave, you know,’ Jen said in a hushed whisper to John. ‘Come back when they’re set up, we don’t have to- ’

‘Shh!’ Rodney hissed, glaring at her.

‘I’m just saying, everyone’s so edgy, we don’t need to stand here gawking.’

‘They’re out,’ John suddenly cut in, having paid the two no heed. Heading over, Ronon following a few steps behind, Jen watched as John approached the two people who had left the ship.

A few of the bystanders had drifted off, no longer interested in the commotion. Several others lingered, gossiping with a sense of quiet awe. Jen’s eyes darted from who John and Ronon were talking to who Jen could only presume was the Reynolds man and his first mate to Serenity the ship and back to Rodney and Teyla. Were they meant to head over? Did they typically stay behind? What if a fight broke out?

‘Where do you think they’re from?’ Teyla suddenly asked. Her eyes were on the ship. ‘I do not recognise any of the designs.’

Rodney was silent for a moment. ‘I don’t either,’ he finally admitted, albeit it sounded somewhat reluctant. ‘Though the ship looks a little like Larrin’s. The cockpit.’

‘Is it just me or does it share a resemblance to the Daedalus?’

There was a moment of silence after Teyla’s comment. Jen glanced over to her then back at Serenity. Rodney suddenly snorted.

‘Don’t be stupid. If anything it looks more like a Genii design with maybe a few of our influences but it looks nothing like the Daedalus. Come on, Sheppard’s waving us over.’

He walked off, muttering to himself. Looking back over at Teyla, unsure what to say, she shrugged and followed him. It did look like the Daedalus a little if she was being completely honest with herself, though it was entirely possible that they copied its design. Wasn’t that how cultures and technologies grew?

Crossing over as Sheppard waved them over, Jen tried her best to look confident. Ever since her trip to New Athos with Teyla, she had been uneasy about meeting people on new planets. Still, it didn’t look as though this Reynolds fellow was about to start chasing her and trying to eat her flesh any time soon, and she did have Ronon to hide behind if things turned bad.

‘Captain Reynolds, this is Teyla Emmagan and Dr Jennifer Keller.’

‘This is my first mate, Zoë.’

Giving their hands a shake, Jen smiled. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’

‘Malcolm Reynolds,’ he replied, nodding his head at both Teyla and herself. He turned back to John and motioned a small distance away from the marketplace stalls. ‘How’s about we sit ourselves down and see what we both have to offer? I’ll introduce you to the rest of my crew.’

John nodded and said they would wait while Malcolm and the woman beside him gathered what they needed.

‘He seems nice,’ Jen said when he was out of earshot and nobody was saying anything else.

‘He seems like a business man,’ John replied, keeping his eyes on the cargo bay doors.

‘The good kind or the bad kind?’

‘We’ll see when we shows us what he’s got on offer.’

Several minutes later Malcolm appeared, a sack under his arm and a man following him and Zoe. Taking a look at the tall man heading over, Jen edged closer to Ronon.

‘Colonel, this is Jayne. Jayne, this is Colonel Sheppard and his team. We’re here to make a deal with them.’

‘And them?’ John asked, tilting his head to the ship. Two other younger women were coming out of the ship, carrying something like a card table between them.

‘Rest of my crew. Got some trading to do on this planet whether we make a deal or not. Now how’s about we seat ourselves and see what we can’t work out?’

‘Ronon, Rodney,’ John said as Malcolm walked off with Zoë and Jayne. ‘You’re with me. Teyla, Keller- try to stay out of trouble.’

‘I should say the same for you,’ Teyla replied with just a hint of a laugh.

‘I’m always on my best behaviour!’ John shot back with a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth before walking over to Malcolm and his crew.

Spinning on the ball of her foot, she turned to Teyla, her eyebrows raised expectantly. ‘What do we do now?’ she asked.

‘We should not walk too far off,’ Teyla answered, her eyes lingering to where John and the others were sitting before turning to Jen. ‘In case John requires our help.’

Flashing her eyes over to where they were sitting, she trailed after Teyla, who was heading to the stall the rest of Malcolm’s crew were setting up.

‘He won’t need our help though, will he?’ she asked, hating the quiver that entered her voice. ‘I mean, there’s not going to be any gunfight. That… that Jayne, he looks like he could take Ronon.’

‘So long as they remain calm there should be no need for us to enter into a fight,’ Teyla replied. The tone to her voice told Jen that that was to be the end of the discussion.

Reaching the table as one of the girls on Malcolm’s crew headed back into the ship, Jen looked at what they had to offer. It seemed to be much of what else was on for sale- pottery, clay and wooden statues, funny metallic playing cards.

‘What’s this?’ Jen asked, picking up a wooden carving.

‘A swan,’ the girl behind the table replied, her large, wide brown eyes staring intently at Jen.

‘A swan?’

‘Same carvings on every planet. It’s made with longing I’ve been told.’

‘I didn’t know you had swans out here,’ Jen murmured as she set the carving back down.

‘We don’t.’

Frowning, Jen stared at the swan. They didn’t have swans out in the Pegasus galaxy, despite the fact that she was staring at some hard evidence to suggest that they actually did. Lifting her head, intending to ask Teyla just what the hell swans were doing in the Pegasus galaxy, she found her gone.

‘She went that way,’ the girl behind the table said, pointing further down the aisle of stalls to where Teyla was standing, looking at baby clothes.

‘River! River!’

Turning her head in the opposite direction, she found a young man running over, motioning for the girl.

‘River, where’s Kaylee?’

‘Inside. She went to get the bei zi. Won’t be long.’

‘What are you doing out here?’

‘Serving customers,’ the girl- River- replied, tilting her head to Jen’s direction.

‘I’m getting the swan,’ Jen replied, the words out of her mouth before she had even realised she had even said them.

The man put his hand on River’s back, pushing her towards the ship. ‘River, you’re meant to stay inside. Stay with Inara.’

‘Inara’s serving customers, too.’

His brow furrowing some, the man gave River another gentle push that sent her going. She moved with a small skip on her step, her arms out like a dancer’s. Jen watched her until the man cleared his throat.

‘Sorry, she- right, you wanted the swan?’

Turning her attention back to the man, Jen nodded, still in a slight daze. ‘Oh, right, right. The swan. To be honest I haven’t seen any in… these parts.’

‘I haven’t either,’ he replied, taking what Jen presumed to be some kind of currency. John had handed it to her before they had left. ‘I haven’t seen any in a long time.’ As he handed the swan over to her, he glimpsed over to where John and Malcolm were. ‘You with them?’

She nodded and held her hand out. ‘Jennifer Keller,’ she said as he shook her hand. ‘I’m the doctor.’

‘Doc- oh! Oh! I’m Simon, I’m the ship’s doctor, I- ’ He moved around the table and took her hand again, shaking it once more. ‘I didn’t expect you to be so young.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ she countered, though she smiled, a little stunned at his enthusiasm.

‘Do you have the…’ He gestured to her pack.

‘I brought what I could,’ she said, swinging her pack over her shoulder and putting it on the ground after setting the swan back on the table. ‘I wasn’t sure what you needed specifically.’

‘Once they’re done, I’ll, um… you come on the ship and I’ll show what we need. You can bring your team if you’re afraid we’ll kidnap you.’

Jen stared, unsure how to respond to that.

‘We won’t kidnap you,’ Simon added.

‘Oh. Oh, good. I’m not a fan of being kidnapped.’ Taking hold of the swan, she looked over her shoulder to where Teyla stood, still looking over the baby clothes. ‘I should catch up to her,’ she said, jerking her thumb towards Teyla.

Thanking her for her time and the possible medical supplies, Jen nodded her head in return and swung her pack over to her shoulder. Giving the swan an odd look, she set off to catch up with Teyla, wondering just what swans were doing in this part of the universe.

*

The deal was set- for the most part at least. Malcolm only had half of the would-be weapon on him. In return, John agreed to give them half the medical supplies. The rest would be handed over once they received the other half of the device. Rodney said to Jen on the sly as the final negotiations were being made between John and Malcolm that he should be able to rig the device so some use may be able to come of it, whether or not they got the final piece.

While Jen was in the small medical bay of the Serenity with Ronon watching what was going on, John went to the gate to dial back to Atlantis and give them the news. There were a lot of instruments that she recognised as being of Ancient design, though there were others that she couldn’t figure out at all. She didn’t want to poke around, though. River, who she figured out to be Simon’s sister or at least someone of close relation, kept poking around and at one point grabbed her ponytail and gave it a hard yank.

‘River, don’t- I’m sorry, she’s just- River, let me take you back to your room.’

‘She’s not right,’ Ronon muttered once they had gone. Jen nodded in silent agreement and went back to sorting out just what she could hand over. John had given her instructions to only give a little- bandages, mild pain relievers, nothing they couldn’t do without but not the stuff that would be beneficial in the long run.

Simon returned, looking a little embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry, she’s…’

‘Is she okay?’ Jen asked quietly, handing him a few of the bottles.

‘She’s been through some trauma.’ It sounded rehearsed but it was also clearly the truth.

‘Is she coping?’

Simon gave a shrug. ‘I don’t have the facilities I need to monitor her.’ And with that he refused to say anything more.

A crackle went through her radio and Jen pressed the switch.

‘Keller.’

John’s voice came through. ‘Wraith. We’ve got the gate open but the ships are coming in fast. We need to leave, now.’

‘Wraith,’ Jen started before John even had a chance to finish. Grabbing her pack, ignoring the medicine packets that fell out, she grabbed Simon’s arm. ‘You need to leave.’

Ronon snatched her wrist and started to tug her out. River nearly ran into him, her small hand closing around his shirt.

‘You have to stay. It’s dangerous out there. We’ll take you home.’

She ran off again, her feet moving briskly up the metallic stars that lined the medical bay. Ignoring her, Ronon continued to pull Jen along, up and through the doorway and to the cargo bay doors just as Malcolm and the rest of his crew came up. The buzz of the Wraith darts that had become all too familiar to Jen’s ears filled the air, the rush of blue light passing in the distance.

‘What in tyen shiao duh is going on here?’ Malcolm barked at them.

Stopping just short of the exit, Jen jumped back as one dart passed particularly close, the grass waving in the breeze inches from the bottom of the ramp.

‘We can’t go out there,’ she murmured.

Ronon’s hand was still around her wrist and her jerked back, turning to go back up to the cargo bay.

‘Wraith,’ he yelled as Malcolm started up the stairs leading to the catwalk above. ‘You need to- ’

‘Already on it,’ Malcolm yelled back before adding, ‘Kaylee, get the drive online!’

A distance, ‘Shi ah,’ was heard.

Zoë slammed a button down and the cargo bays started to close. A shrill Wraith buzz echoed and fell. Jen threw a panicky look to Ronon before looking back at Zoë, her pack sliding down her shoulder.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked, this time ignoring the tremble in her voice completely.

‘Where do you need to be?’

Ronon and Jen shared a look.

‘You got the other half of the device on your ship?’ Ronon finally asked.

Zoë arched a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. The engine had roared to life and Jen felt the ship start to rise, the floor vibrating beneath her feet.

‘That depends,’ Zoë said, ‘do you have the other half of the medicine we need?’

*

The trip back to Atlantis was long. Ronon and Jen were shown to a guestroom. It was small and mostly bare- a cramped bed in one corner with a tiny bedside table and not much else. Jen sat on the bed with Ronon in the far corner. The silence seemed to stretch between them. Although Ronon seemed content with it, Jen found it uncomfortable. She knew they hadn’t had much choice but to go with Malcolm and his crew, but they hadn’t been able to get a call back to John. New Lantea was meant to stay a secret location and they weren’t doing much to keep it like that.

‘We could have just had them take us to a close planet with a stargate,’ Jen finally said.

Ronon lifted his head, his brow arched just slightly. ‘Bit late now.’

‘I know,’ she said, her eyes downcast.

Pushing up to his feet, Ronon gave a shrug and slid the guestroom door open.

‘I’m gonna have a look around. See how long it’s gonna be until we get there.’

Watching Ronon leave, Jen clasped her hands together and settled them between her legs. Listening as his heavy footsteps disappeared down the corridor, she fell back against the bed. She closed her eyes and listened to the hum of ship around her. In a way it was almost familiar- it reminded her of Atlantis, or even of the long trips on the Daedalus. It relaxed her and eventually lulled her into a state of calm before falling completely asleep.

She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep for when a large explosion echoed through the ship. The ship shook and Jen sat bolt upright. Running from the room as an alarm started to screech, she spun around, searching for someone, anyone.

‘Ro- Ronon!’

Reaching for her, Ronon pulled her up the stairs. The alarms continued on as their feet slammed on the metal floor.

‘Nearly back to Atlantis,’ Ronon said as he led her to the upper corridor.

‘Kaylee!’

‘On it, cap’n!’

The girl Jen saw earlier- Kaylee- pushed her past her. Watching her, she saw her dart to the engine room, smoke starting to come from it. Ronon continued down the corridor, his hand releasing her wrist. Jogging behind, she followed him to the cockpit, River sitting there with Malcolm behind her.

‘How- ’ Ronon started.

‘Almost there,’ River replied, oddly calm.

‘Second time it’s happened,’ Malcolm muttered as he stood behind her, his hand clutched around the pilot’s chair. ‘Second time it’s rutting happened. Ben zhuo drive.’

‘Nobody’s hurt, sir,’ Zoë announced as she entered the cockpit.

As Malcolm turned and left the cockpit, leaving Zoë to watch over the re-entry, Jen finally looked out the window. New Lantea was before them, blue and white, a sense of home coming over her. The ship continued to shake, the explosion seeming to have damaged the inertial dampeners.

‘Mainland’s nearby,’ Ronon said. ‘Gonna need to make a call to Atlantis. Let ‘em know where here.’

Zoë handed him the radio. When John’s voice came over the other end, a wash of relief came over her. Ronon told them they’d be landing on the mainland before saying there had been an explosion.

‘You should return to your room,’ Zoë said, her hand gripping around the chair a little tighter. The shaking had increased the closer they got to the planet.

Heading back down the corridor, Jen brushed past Kaylee once more. She felt her hand sweep across her arm, a line of grease staining her jacket sleeve that, somehow, comforted her.

*

It was a miracle they landed, at least according to Jen. The ship continued to shake, right until they landed. They bounced once, twice, before coming to a standstill. She sat petrified in the guestroom, breaking only out of her terrified trance when Ronon opened the door. They arrived in the cargo bay just as the doors started opening. On the other side was Lorne’s team, Sheppard at the front of the group, their guns raised and ready to fire.

‘Woah-ho-ho, easy folks,’ came Malcolm’s voice from behind them. Walking up to the bay doors, he clapped Jen on the shoulder, guiding her over, Ronon staying close. ‘Got your friends right here, in one piece.’

‘From the sounds of your arrival, I can’t say much for your ship,’ John said, lowering his gun though he was still visibly ready in case things took a turn for the worst.

Jen headed down the ramp and to the ground. As she passed the group, spotting the puddle jumpers in the distance, Woolsey walked by her as he headed up to Serenity. Lingering in the background, she watched as Malcolm spoke to John and Woolsey, Ronon filling them in the details. The rest of Malcolm’s crew started to come out from the ship, waving and introducing themselves to those waiting for them. They continued on for several minutes before they started splitting up, Malcolm’s team pairing off with Sheppard’s and Lorne’s.

‘What’s going on?’ Jen asked as she followed Lorne to his puddle jumper, Simon, River and Kaylee following the rest of Lorne’s team.

‘Their ship’s broken. They’re not going anywhere until it’s repaired.’

‘Broken?’ Jen repeated. ‘Something exploded.’

Lorne nodded and glanced over his shoulder where the three were following them. ‘Apparently a new hyperdrive was installed on their ship. When they exited hyperspace, it kept looping and…’

‘Exploded?’

‘Pretty much. Nobody appears to be hurt, though.’

Jen sat in the cargo hold with Kaylee, Simon and River, with Lorne’s team in the front. All but Kaylee were silent on the flight back to Atlantis. She kept looking around, nudging Simon who was on her right and pointing things out.

‘Hey, what does that do?’ she suddenly asked, pointing at something Jen couldn’t identify.

‘I- I don’t know.’

That didn’t seem to falter her, though. She continued to look about, grinning and pointing at whatever grabbed her interest while Simon sat looking caught between embarrassed and jaded and River looked out the cockpit window, wide-eyed with her head tilted.

Atlantis started to come up before them and Kaylee quietened, a soft ‘ooh’ coming from her. Its lights twinkled before her, the sun playing across the bright, clear water. It was getting close to sunset but the shadow of the city still stretched across the ocean.

Sheppard’s team had reached the jumper bay first and they were waiting for them when they arrived. The rest of Malcolm’s crew was there, along with a well-dressed woman Jen didn’t recognise. Hadn’t River mentioned someone called Inara? Woolsey was also there, looking more than a little off put, though that didn’t appear to stop him from looking over Inara. Malcolm, on the other hand, looked a little amused. Introductions were given and Woolsey announced he wanted to speak to Malcolm and Zoë.

‘Dr Keller,’ he said, ‘would you mind looking over our guests?’

‘No one was hurt in the explosion,’ Simon started.

‘It’s best to be on the safe side,’ Jen cut him off with a smile. ‘And a general check-up can’t hurt, seeing as the supplies on your ship were low.’

Agreements were made over plans for their new guests and Jen led them to the medical bay, Ronon and Sheppard behind them. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kaylee, grinning and nudging and whispering about what she was seeing. Jen could feel a smile tugging on the corners of her lips. She seemed so genuinely excited, more so than the rest of the group, though they all seemed to be looking around in a mixture of awe and uncertain curiousity.

The news of what had happened on P27-4TX had already spread throughout the city and by the time they arrived at the medical bay, the nurses and doctors were already prepared. Several of the nurses led the crew of the Serenity to the beds, preparing to give them a check-up. Leading Kaylee to a bed, Jen gave her a smile.

‘Just relax, this shouldn’t take long,’ she said, reaching for her sphygmomanometer. ‘I’m just going to start by taking your blood pressure.’

Kaylee just grinned in response, her eyes still darting around the room. Wrapping the cuff around her arm, Jen reached for the pump. Before she could start, though, an ear-piercing scream cut through the air. Jumping back, Jen looked over to where the scream came from. River was struggling and trying to get off the bed. Simon was standing over her, trying to calm her while River kept shoving the nurses away. People were calling her name, telling her to calm down from all sides, but their yells went unheard.

‘Hey! Hey!’

Jen ran over just as one of the nurses managed to pin River’s right arm down. Simon was holding other one.

‘I’m sorry, she doesn’t like doctors,’ Simon tried to explain as River let out another scream.

She managed to work her arm free from the nurse. She was strong- a lot stronger than Jen had suspected.

‘We need to sedate her,’ Jen called, trying to get above River’s screams.

It all happened in a split second. A sudden rush of pain went through her jaw, the taste of blood filling her mouth. She fell backwards onto the ground, her hand coming to where she’d been hit. River had kicked out, hitting her jaw.

‘Get her boots off her and sedate her!’

Moving to her feet she felt a warm hand around her arm, helping her up. Keeping her hand to her mouth, she watched as Simon took the syringe from the nurse and slid it into River’s arm. Her screams died down and her kicking slowed. When she stilled, Jen nodded and told them to take her to another room. As the rest of Malcolm’s crew were given their check-ups, Jen found herself being led to a hospital bed by Kaylee.

‘You okay, sweetie? That’s a real shiner.’

Waving her hand, Jen motioned for Kaylee to sit back down on the bed. ‘I’ll be fine. Just cut my lip.’

‘Looks like it’s already starting to bruise.’

Touching her jaw where it still hurt, Jen couldn’t do anything but shrug. ‘Let’s just get your check-up done,’ she said, ignoring the throb in her jaw. She couldn’t do anything else, not until everyone was cleared from the room.

*

‘She kicked you in the face?’

Jen rolled her eyes and pressed the ice pack a little harder against her jaw, ignoring John’s laughter. Her jaw had definitely bruised and there was some light swelling. She’d split her lip, too, but for the most part it was just bruising and pain.

‘She’s traumatised and obviously got some issues with hospitals. Her brother told me before we left the planet.’

‘Someone should take her boots off her,’ Rodney said around a mouthful of food. ‘What does a girl like her need boots like that for, anyway?’

‘Probably to kick doctors in the face with,’ Jen muttered as she pulled the ice pack away. She turned to Teyla. ‘How does it look?’

‘Sore,’ she replied gently.

Replacing the ice pack, Jen turned to her lunch tray. ‘How’s the drive on their ship?’

‘In pieces,’ Rodney replied.

‘Apparently their hyperdrive was installed just under a year ago. This is the second time it’s exploded when they’ve exited hyperspace,’ John added.

‘Any reason why?’ Jen asked.

‘We’re still working on it,’ Rodney said. He took a glance at his watch and pushed back from the table. ‘And I need to get back to it. The engine’s got a very interesting design. Like an Ancient/Earth hybrid. Very interesting. Nobody seems to know how it’s like that. Of course, they could have looked into one of our broken pieces or gotten on board or- ’

John followed Rodney who was still rambling on as he walked, saying goodbye as he left the table.

‘They seem like a very friendly group,’ Teyla thought aloud.

‘Apart from the kicking.’

Teyla gave a light laugh and turned back to her lunch. Keeping the ice pack against her jaw, Jen sipped her coffee, feeling the burn down the back of her throat. Teyla was quiet for a moment, a contemplative look on her face.

‘Is it just me, or do their names seem very much like those from Earth?’

‘Pardon?’

‘Simon, Malcolm, Zoë… Those are of Earth origin, am I correct?’

Taken aback, Jen was unable to respond. Teyla was right- they were common names on Earth. She didn’t know what it meant, though. It didn’t matter, however, as she didn’t get time to think much about it.

‘You mind if I sit here?’

Standing just to the right of them was Kaylee, a tray of food in her hands.

‘Oh, go right ahead,’ Jen said, motioning for her to sit.

Kaylee sat in front of them and took a large bite from her salad. She was silent for a moment, digging into her lunch with fervour.

‘Don’t got much fresh food on the ship,’ she said after she had swallowed. ‘Flying for weeks at a time without landing, we mostly eat protein. It works but it ain’t got much flavour.’

‘Kaylee,’ Teyla said, watching with an amused look on her face as Kaylee continued to scoff down her salad, ‘how often do you and your crew travel on your ship?’

‘Oh, all the time,’ Kaylee replied, waving around a carrot stick. ‘We’re always flying around. We’re rarely planetside. We go here and then we fly over there. We do jobs, we get another job. It’s fun. It’s life.’ Stopping to take a bite of her meal, she motioned at her jaw. ‘How is it? ’S’actually why I came over. Wanted to make sure you were okay.’

Setting her ice pack down, Jen gently pressed her fingers to it. ‘It’s- it’s fine. I’ll be fine.’

‘I’m sorry about River.’

‘It’s fine.’ Jen shook her head and set the ice back against her jaw. ‘No serious damage.’

‘She got a good kick in.’

‘She’s got a good eye.’

Clearing her throat, Teyla moved back from the table and picked up her tray. ‘I have to pick Tagan up.’ And with that, she left.

Jen watched Teyla leave. Kaylee cleared her throat. She had finished her salad and was heading onto the next plate. Turning back to her, Jen crossed her legs and set the ice pack down.

‘Is that going to be okay?’ Kaylee asked.

Jen nodded. ‘It’ll be fine. No loose teeth. It looks worse than it actually is.’

‘Should’ve given you a heads up ‘fore we went in.’

‘Well, what could have been, would have been. It doesn’t matter now.’

Stirring her spoon through her lukewarm soup made from some traditional vegetables from one of their trading planets, Kaylee cocked her head, a coy smile playing on her lips. Taking a sip, she set the spoon aside, her nose scrunching up somewhat. It was bitter and just a little too salty.

‘So… what do you do for fun around here?’

‘Fun?’

Kaylee nodded, looking at her expectantly.

‘Oh. Um…’ Draining the rest of her coffee, Jen shrugged and licked her lips. ‘We don’t usually get time off. I know there are often trips to the mainland. People go swimming, fishing… Sometimes we’re allowed offworld to some of our trading planets, like the one we meant you on. Rarely, but sometimes, so long as there’s another team that’s already meant to be heading there.’

‘What do you do for fun, though?’

‘Me?’

Kaylee nodded again, the same expectant look in her eyes.

‘Well…’ Jen scratched her neck, unsure how to reply to that. ‘I like reading. I don’t get much time off, so getting through one book can took a long time.’

‘What else do ya’ do?’

‘Er… well, I don’t typically get a lot of time off. Running a department of such a big size… it takes up a lot of my time. People always getting hurt, always trying to stay atop of it all.’

‘You sound like someone I know,’ Kaylee laughed. ‘He doesn’t let himself have any time off.’

Jen chuckled and re-wrapped the ice pack. It was starting to melt. ‘It’s not that I don’t let myself. It’s that I just don’t have the time.’

‘Yup, definitely sounds like someone I know.’

With a laugh, Jen shook her head. Kaylee joined her, her entire body shaking as she laughed.

‘We do sometimes get time off, but… we usually go home.’

‘This isn’t your home?’

‘It…’ Jen faltered. ‘It is in a way. Like Serenity’s your home. But… we’ve all got another home that we like to return to every so often. You know what I’m talking about?’

Kaylee nodded.

‘So, every so often, we’re permitted leave and we go home. I usually visit my father. And I just relax.’

A silence passed over them. Kaylee returned to her lunch, happily eating, while Jen put the melting ice pack back against her jaw. As she finished her meal, Kaylee wiped her mouth with a napkin and turned her attention back to Jen.

‘You should come to the mainland. I’m heading over this afternoon to help Dr McKay. He thinks he knows what he’s doing but nobody knows Serenity better than me. You wanna come?’

‘I… I’ll see.’

‘Aww, c’mon, it’ll be fun.’

Jen shrugged. ‘I’ll see what I can do, I promise. But I can’t see what’s coming up, and there’s an offworld team due back in a few hours, and another due any time now, but…’ She was starting to ramble. She didn’t know why, but she was still rambling. ‘If you let me know just when you’re leaving, then I might…’

Kaylee waved her hand, cutting her off. ‘Xing, xing. Gotcha.’

There was a crackle in her radio and Woolsey’s voice crackled through. The first offworld team was back and needed medical assistance.

‘And that’s my cue to leave,’ she said with a sigh as she moved from the table.

‘Let me know if you can make it!’ Kaylee called after her, her bubbly voice echoing in Jen’s ears.

River/Kaylee

2008-04-27T09:29:29Z

Title: Walking On Air
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: River/Kaylee
Rating: PG:13
Warnings: Nothing to mention.
Summary: The grav boot flashes out and Kaylee's left hanging in limbo.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: For medie's The Because We're Awesome Drabble-a-thon. Prompt was 'gravity fails us'.

The grav boot had knocked out somehow halfway to Paquin. Nothin’ to worry about, Kaylee had assured Mal, they were in no danger.

In most cases Mal would believe Kaylee. He had no reason not to in most instances- he’d put his life and the rest of his crew’s in her capable engineering hands more’n once. The problem was he had trouble believing her while she was floating upside down he was clutching onto Serenity’s walls to keep from knocking into the menagerie of birds that were squawking about in their cages as they thumped into one another in the cargo bay. Jayne and Book were desperately trying to calm the birds (well, Book was. Jayne was just floating by and knocking the cages from his path).

It had been fun at first. They weren’t in any immediate danger- not that Kaylee could see anyway. But now her belly was starting to swim and she felt as though her innards were about to become her outards.

‘They used to fly like this on the moon.’

She lifted her head from where she had strapped herself to the ladder to stop from floating away. The engine was still going and if she could get her hands on the grav boot everything would be okay. She wasn’t too keen on turning it off, though, ‘cause she didn’t know how long it’d take to get back online.

River was floating above her, her skirt billowing out like those angels her Daddy used to read to her every night from the old Catholic Bible.

‘Whatcha doin’ about there?’ Kaylee asked. River’s hair was swimming around her head like one of ‘em halos, too, only darker. ‘Simon’ll be worried.’

‘Simon’s trying not to be sick.’

River pushed herself off from the wall and did a flip before grabbing hold of the ladder. She floated there contently, watching Kaylee. The front of her dress was hanging loose and Kaylee could see her tiny breasts.

‘Wasn’t expecting to be flying around,’ River said as though for explanation.

‘Don’t think any of us were.’

River tilted her head and Kaylee took that cue to go back to work. She’d always had a way of misjudging the girl, though, and when she looked up, River swooped down and pressed her lips to Kaylee’s. It knocked her back some, but the rope holding her to the ladder held strong and before she could regain her balance River had slipped up through the hole in the roof and was gone.

John/Derek

2008-03-28T03:31:27Z

Title: In the Deep
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: John/Derek
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Underage sex, incest.
Summary: It doesn't matter how it started, only that it did and now it can't be stopped. Not that John really minds all that much- he likes being trashy.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Terminator franchise.
Notes: For usagiko. This may also stop me from picturing this scene in class. I think my lecturer is starting to get concerned.

The air is hot and thick around him, sweat sticking to his forehead, hair plastered against his temples. It’s hard to breathe. It’s humid, so fucking humid, and his room is stuffy. The window is open just enough to let a tiny breeze in, but his door is shut and the fan stopped working half an hour ago, and if his face wasn’t shoved into the pillow to stop the neighbours from hearing them, he’d fucking scream.

Derek’s fingers are thick and blunt inside of him, with a burn that makes him curl his spine upwards. His body is aching for it, almost painfully hard against his stomach, and he keeps begging muffled pleas against the pillow, but Derek keeps shushing him, with ‘shh, baby, it’s okay,’ and ‘soon, baby, soon.’ John’s hands keep scrabbling at the sheets, the pillows, his eyes shut so tight that lights appear behind his eyelids.

He can feel Derek’s fingers moving slowly inside him, dragging it out, making the heat in his belly curl and flare. Breathless, waiting, and then he can feel his fingers there, right there, and his hips buck, head falling back, sweaty hair in his eyes. Derek’s other hand over his mouth, covering his desperate moans. Not that it matters too much; his mother and Cameron are out. He can smell the lube he’d used to slick his fingers up, can smell the leftover pizza he’d had for lunch on his breath as he presses his cheek to John’s temple.

‘Shh, baby.’

John can only give a desperate whine, push his back. He needs, and he needs it now. His voice is lost, disappeared, gone sometime between Derek groping him over his jeans and pulling his shirt over his head. And the bastard, he’s still dressed, still fully clothed, and John needs nothing more than the touch of naked skin on skin, the slap of thighs, and tongues and mouth and teeth, making bruises where nobody will ever see. But fuck, he’s the only one naked, on all fours, with his ass in the hot, sticky, mid-summer air.

Derek loves his skin. Loves it. His teeth sink down into it, marking him with bites that blush rose red around the ring of bite marks that mar his skin. His hands run over the expanse of his back, following freckles and scars of yesteryear. Goosebumps prickle his skin, and Derek’s large hand settles on the dip of his spine, the fingers inside him still moving in that languid, mind-whirling manner.

‘Sweet baby,’ Derek purrs as John squirms. The hand on his back presses down and he stills, head falling back against the pillow. His palm is sweaty, heat trapping between them.

He can hear the sound of insects buzzing just above their breathless panting, the tiny blessed breeze dying down, leaving them in the still, sultry air. The sun pounding through the window, casting long shadows on the wall. Derek’s mouth on John’s shoulder, tongue lapping at the beading sweat, making him hiss and jerk. He can feel the rub of Derek’s jeans along his ass, his zipper digging in, the heat and hardness underneath it. Shivering at the sudden cold press of metal against the soft flesh, almost cutting into his skin as Derek moved, desperate for any kind pressure.

‘Der- ’

‘It’s okay,’ Derek hushes, his fingers moving back over John’s mouth. Feeling a shiver run through him as his lips wrap around each digit, giving each a gentle suck, a lick, a nip, before moving onto the next. The fingers inside him crook and curl, dragging out slowly as John gently bites down on Derek’s thumb. His fingers press down on John’s sweet spot, and his hips jerk backward, head falling forward. He wants to yelp, to scream, to moan until his throat is dry and raw, but he can hear the sound of a car pulling up, of the front door opening.

Derek’s mouth covers his mouth, lips to his ear again. Teeth tugging on the lobe, fingers twisting, and John desperately rolls his eyes back with a tiny squeak.

‘Gotta keep quiet, baby,’ he purrs. ‘Can’t let your mother see you like this. Don’t know what’s worse, sometimes. Your ma or a T-triple-eight on my ass.’

John just lets his head fall back against Derek’s shoulder, his throat exposed, Adam’s apple bouncing as he swallows. The air is still thick, gulping it down as he pushes back against the fingers inside him. Derek’s hand slides down to John’s throat, lips covering his, all tongue and teeth, no sweetness, no love. Just heady passion, fast and hard, knowing that it would just take one uncertain noise to get them caught.

It doesn’t take long, though. Just one more twist of Derek’s fingers and John comes, trembling, arm around his waist to keep him up, sticky and wet. In his blinding, mind-white state, he feels Derek pulling his fingers from him, easing him down on his back and slipping from the bed. Hears tissues being pulled from their box, the constant hum of insects outside his window. Gradually, he feels the edge of his bed sink, tissues being rubbed over his thighs and belly as Derek cleans him up.

Groggy and dazed, a thin sheen of sweat over his skin, John watches with heavy-lidded eyes. He needs a shower. His thighs are burning, the position and strain he’d put on them no doubt going to cause him pain for the next few days. Looking up, Derek reaches over and pushes John’s long hair from his eyes.

‘You need to sleep.’

‘I need to wash,’ John argues weakly. Derek just gives a slight crooked grin and tosses the tissues into the bin.

‘Sleep. Your mother’s already gonna want to know what I was doing in here. Can’t raise suspicions if you come wandering out after me, looked downright fucked.’

‘Mm,’ is all John can muster.

Derek kisses his thumb and presses it against John’s lips. Wordlessly, he stands and pulls a thin sheet over John’s naked body.

‘S’too hot,’ John slurs, already finding himself starting to settle back, as though ready to sleep.

‘Do you want your mother coming in and seeing you in the buff?’ He seems to take John’s silence as a response. ‘Put clothes on when you wake up if you have to. Want to.’

He listens to Derek’s heavy footsteps as he heads across the room, the squeak of the door opening and closing. As the sounds of Derek’s footsteps fade away, John rolls over, onto his stomach, the sheet loose around his hips. Everything still hurts slightly, but it doesn’t matter. He likes the burn, the godforsaken ache from deep inside. The way his heart pounds just a little more as he stretches his limbs out and tucks his arms under his pillow to keep it propped up. He doesn’t sleep, though, just listens to the noises outside his room as he waits for Derek to return to him.

Summer/Michael

2008-02-24T07:18:24Z

Title: Dressed in Blue
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Summer Glau/Michael Shanks
Rating: PG
Warnings: None really.
Summary: It's a cliche, but her smile is as warm and as bright as the season she's named after.
Disclaimer: I don't own Summer Glau or Michael Shanks. That's actually illegal in many cultures.
Notes: Requested by riverdresses as part of this meme (flocked post). Also, I tried to make this in some non-descript time, so whether they're with their respective partners or not is up to you, bb.

He sees her from a distance at conventions first. She seems friendly, polite, if a little shy. According to Chris who heard it from Amanda who asked Jewel, she has a wry sense of humour. Which is good, since he likes girls with a sense of humour. He sees her laughing with fans and co-workers. A real laugh, not a polite one, even if she does look tired and could do with a long nap. He wants to go and talk to her, since multi-show conventions like these are often used to catch up with fellow actors and the like, but she always has someone with her that he doesn’t know and he’d just feel awkward.

He finally manages to approach her at a three-day convention. He’s forgotten the name. Then again, after doing this for going on eleven years, they all seem to mould into Wonder-Comic-Star-Topia-Con. It’s in the middle of the day- another show is up, and she’s outside, taking a break. The sun is high in the sky and her head is tilted up towards it. The sun catches the highlights in her hair.

‘Hi,’ he calls out, approaching her carefully.

She turns around, a little surprised. A glimmer of recognition passes her eyes. ‘Hi.’

He holds his hand out. ‘I’m Michael,’ he says as she takes his hand. She has a strong grip.

‘Summer.’

He gestures about. ‘You don’t…’ he starts, motioning between them and the space around.

She shakes her head. ‘No, I was just…’ She shrugs, jerking her chin towards the building. ‘Bit stuffy.’

He nods, understanding completely.

‘When you’re with the same people fifteen hours a day…’

‘Oh, I know that feeling,’ he says with a smile. Ten years and running.

She nods. It’s not cruel, it’s not mean. It’s truthful. He can’t imagine her saying a bad word about anyone.

‘Sometimes you need a little bit of time away.’

‘Yes.’ Her voice is quiet. It feels like she’s telling him a secret every time she speaks. ‘You here with anyone?’

He shook his head. ‘Just here for the convention.’

She nods. ‘Same.’

He’s surprised by the lack of a Texan accent. He can’t help but wonder if she taught herself to speak that way or if that’s just how she was raised. She does have that good Southern girl charm about her, though. He’s about to ask her what she’s doing later that evening- just to keep the conversation going, not to intrude on her personal life- when the door to the building opens.

‘Summer? You’re on.’

She waves to the door and turns back to him. She smiles, warm and slightly apologetic.

‘I’ll see you later, then?’

He nods. ‘Sure.’

*

It started as a dinner between him and Chris. One last shindig before they all returned home now that the convention is over. Amanda found out and said she wanted to go. She, in turn, invited some of her friends from Atlantis. Jewel was among them, who, in turn, invited several of her Firefly friends, including her. Several other people are invited along, some he knows, some he doesn’t. So now they have a group of fifteen, and despite the convention they’ve managed to get a table at a restaurant that serves a dysfunctional mix of Chinese and Italian and Mexican and some Japanese dish that he raises his eye at, so, of course, Joe orders double of it.

She sits a few seats down from him, on the opposite side of the table. She smiles and waves as Nathan talks to her on his right and Joe on his left and Claudia who is opposite. The conversation around him is loud and lively, as they all share stories, anecdotes, remembering whom guest starred on what and who is working with whom now, and what storylines and crossovers should be done. By the time their plates have been collected and those that ordered dessert are letting their spoons and forks clatter in their bowls, it’s past eleven and everybody agrees it should be time to return back to their hotels (or, if they’re lucky enough, their homes).

Jewel had driven her in but is staying in a different hotel.

‘I can drive you,’ he says, after finding out where she’s staying. They’re in the same hotel, though he’s on a different floor.

She smiles, and it’s just like two days earlier. Warm, friendly, genuine. ‘I’d like that, thank you.’

They drive to the hotel mostly in comfortable silence. They exchange a few words, mostly over mutual friends, talking about work (though at an arm’s length- convention or not, they’re still on break), what they plan to do when they get home.

They catch the elevator up, and he walks her to her room. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do, and she’s at the end of the corridor. The good thing about being a moderately successful actor (in some circles) is that nobody’s going to take candid shots and plaster them all over the front page of the tabloids. When did walking someone back to their room suddenly mean they were sleeping together?

She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. ‘Thank you,’ she says, ‘for driving me back.’

He nods, watching as she slides her key card and opens the door. She turns, her foot in the door, gesturing with her thumb.

‘Do you…?’

‘No,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘Just wanted to make sure you were got back safe.’

She blushes a little. Her whole face glows, the hair she pushed back moments earlier falling free; tiny little ringlets that curl against her round cheek. He moves forward. Her hair is soft as he pushes it back, locks curling around his fingers. She looks up, her wide eyes catching his. He doesn’t even think as he tilts his head down.

The kiss is soft, tender, shy from her end, though her lips part when his tongue brushes over her lower lip. Her hand comes up to touch his, the touch sending a shockwave through his system. He breaks the kiss gently, her hand still settling on his.

‘I should go,’ he says softly.

‘Okay,’ she breathes.

She wishes him a goodnight, her small voice chasing after him as he steps into the elevator.

*

He’s standing outside the hotel, waiting for the rest of his group to come down. Chris is standing beside him, their luggage in front of them. Other people are milling about, some he recognises from the convention. They wave at one another, make a comment about the oddly cool weather before turning back to their previous conversations. He turns to Chris, and asks aloud if he’s seen her.

‘Heard the Connor crew were one of the first to leave,’ he says somewhat distractedly as Amanda and Claudia make their way out to them. He frowns a little at that, looking over as their car pulls up to take them to the airport.

The girls talk animatedly on the ride over, while he keeps his eyes out the window. He feels a little bad, having not been able to catch her before she left. He’s not sure what he would have said. Given her his number and made her promise to call when she was in Canada? Thank her for the kiss? Or would just saying goodbye have been enough?

Pulling up in front of the airport, he can’t help but smile. He’s seen her before at conventions, and, without a doubt, he’ll see her again. The sci-fi industry isn’t that big- people are always guest starring on other people’s shows, if only as fanservice. Claudia catches his smile but before she can ask, he shakes his head. They don’t need to know. Just let them think he’s happy to go home. And he is. But the thought of knowing he’d see her again, one way or another, makes him smile just a little bit brighter.

Sarah/Cameron

2008-02-22T02:28:45Z

Title: Post-Mimicry Syndrome
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Pre-Sarah/Cameron
Rating: PG:13
Warnings: (Non-graphic) discussion of menstruation and female genitalia.
Summary: Cameron asks a variety of questions. Brings up a range of topics. Some are harder to answer than others.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Terminator franchise.
Notes: I've been humming and haahing about posting this, simply because of the discussion in the first half of the fic. Ah, well. Enjoy, anyway.

She finds her standing in the bathroom. Her hip is resting against the sink, the empty green box in her hand. She’s holding a tampon. It’s wrapped, though her finger is flicking the tab.

‘I need that,’ Sarah says, taking a step into the bathroom. Cameron lifts her head, blinking impassively at her. Sarah holds out her hand, motioning for Cameron to hand it over.

‘You’re bleeding,’ Cameron says, matter-of-factly.

‘Yes, and I need that.’

Cameron turns back to the tampon, turning it over in her hand. ‘It’s the last one.’

‘Can you hand it over?’

She turns to her, wide-eyed, her head tilted just slightly, as though confused. ‘You should get more.’

Sarah sighs, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. ‘And I can’t get more until I have that one.’

Cameron says ‘oh’, but continues holding on to it. She studies it, rolling it over between her fingers, her head tilting every so often. Sarah watches her, her brow furrowing some.

‘It’s a tampon,’ she finally says, a little irritably, as though that should explain whatever mystery it held.

Cameron lifts her head again. ‘Yes. A feminine hygiene product, inserted into the vagina to absorb the blood- ’

‘I know what it’s for,’ Sarah interrupts, holding her hand up to stop her.

Cameron is quiet for a moment, watching Sarah, her eyes darting between her and the tampon she holds. It’s a little uneasy. Sarah takes a step forward, fully intending to take it from her when she speaks.

‘You’re bleeding,’ she repeats, before going on to add, ‘from your womb.’ She’s quiet, as though thinking about it. ‘I don’t have one.’

Sarah frowns, her comment throwing her off. She shakes her head. ‘What?’

She leans back against the cupboard, eyes back on the tampon. ‘I do have a vagina, though. A canal. In case a doctor were to examine me.’

She’s thrown off again, Cameron’s comments flying right over her head. ‘What?’

‘A vagina. A pussy, cunt, muff, hooch, beaver, taco,’ she continues on, looking up at Sarah. ‘Southern Belle, honey pot, cooter, vertical smile, box- ’

‘Okay, I got it the first time.’

Cameron blinks at her again. ‘I don’t sleep.’

‘I know. I hear you, walking around late at night. With your boots on. It kinda carries.’

‘Oh.’

‘Can’t you just, I don’t know, lie down and defrag or something? Empty your recycle bin?’

Cameron cocks her head. ‘I don’t have a recycle bin.’

Sarah shakes her head, holding her hand up to stop Cameron from continuing. She’s still holding onto the tampon, keeping it in her grip as Sarah walks up to her and reaches around, opening the cupboard door. Maybe there wasn’t just one left, maybe she’d missed a box, missed one that had rolled away behind a bottle of shampoo. She can feel Cameron’s eyes on her as she crouches down, pushing away an unopened bottle of mouthwash.

‘We were learning about it at school. In biology. The rise in body temperature. The increased hormonal levels. Your egg was not implanted. It wasn’t fertilized. You’re bleeding now.’

Sarah stares up at her, her eyebrows narrowing, her face screwing up some.

‘You’re angry.’

‘I find it at little unsettling that you’re discussing my menstrual cycle like that.’

Cameron tilts her head, handing her the tampon. Sarah takes it. The plastic has been warmed by her hand. ‘Thank you for explaining.’

Sarah nods, standing and heading towards the door. Cameron’s voice stops her.

‘I don’t have a uterus. A womb. I don’t have ovaries.’

Turning, Sarah looks at Cameron with a slight squint. She’s still standing by the sink, her eyes wide and on Sarah. Her voice is soft but it echoes against the tiles. Her lips are parted ever so slightly, her teeth grazing against her lower lip. She’s not sure where she picked that habit up, but it suits her. Makes her seem less robotic, more human.

‘I am unable to procreate. I am unable to have children. I am barren. Like you.’

Shaking her head, Sarah lets out a hesitant laugh. ‘No, I’m able to have children.’

‘By choice,’ Cameron explains quickly. ‘If you were to have another child, your attention on John would be diminished. Your focus would change. You wouldn’t allow that to happen. By choice, you are unable to have children.’

Crossing her arms over her chest, Sarah tilts her head slightly, a gesture that mimics Cameron’s own. She catches a glimpse in the mirror, the reflection of Cameron’s back, the reflection of her face. She doesn’t look as old as she feels.

‘But you were designed to not have one. Can’t see the logic in having robots procreate.’

‘No,’ Cameron agrees quietly.

John’s voice resonates down the hallway. ‘Mom, where’s the butter?’

Sarah leans back slightly to call out the door but her eyes remain on Cameron. ‘Behind the milk.’

‘I can’t see it,’ John calls back.

‘Move the milk and you will.’

John starts to yell back in response but he cuts himself short. Cameron is quiet; staring at Sarah with the same unwavering focus she had been giving the tampon. It should be unsettling but Sarah finds herself shockingly at ease. She doesn’t mind being under Cameron’s focus. She likes being the centre of her attention.

Cameron tilts her head again, blinking at her. ‘Did you want to have children?’

The question isn’t entirely unexpected. ‘I have John.’

‘But did you want to have children? Before Kyle Reese?’

Sarah gives a shrug. ‘I imagine I did,’ she replies. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she watches as Cameron looks over her. ‘Do you want children?’

‘Most teenage human females do.’

‘No, I’m asking if you want children.’

This time it’s Cameron who seems to be thrown off. Her eyes widen ever so slightly, her lips parting a little further. She pauses, clearing analysing the question. Sarah’s tempted to make a comment on hearing the gears turning in her head but decides against it.

‘I am unable to,’ she finally states simply.

‘Doesn’t mean you can’t want to have kids.’

‘Why?’

‘Hope,’ Sarah answers with a shrug of her shoulder. ‘That someday you’ll be able to have children. And it can be applied to other situations, of course... hope.’

Cameron hesitates before nodding. ‘Then yes. Someday I would like to have children.’

She pushes off the sink and walks past her, their eyes meeting for a beat. Sarah watches as she moves fluidly through the doorway, the sound of her boots hitting the floor continuing to echo as she heads down the hall. Staring against the wall, she runs their conversation through her mind, wondering if perhaps she had missed something. Cameron hadn’t given her typical ‘thank you for explaining’ spiel.

Stepping out of the bathroom, she glances down the hallway. Cameron is standing behind John, looking over his shoulder as he did his homework, a sandwich in hand. She points something out and John looks up, a little surprised. Cameron steps back, squeezing his shoulder as she passes by, almost maternally. Her eyes catch Sarah’s, and, for a moment, it almost feels as though time stops.

Sarah keeps her eyes on Cameron until she disappears around a corner and from her view. A faint smile crosses her face as she retreats back to the bathroom. She doesn’t know whether Cameron was mimicking the girls from school in her desire to someday have children or if her ability to imitate emotions goes much further than that. The ability to have dreams, wishes and desires outside of protecting John. Free will. That isn’t just a program. That’s human. John isn’t the type of person to do things halfway, and she doubts he would be like that in the future. He wouldn’t leave Cameron in a state of almost feeling. No, he’d go the whole nine yards or he wouldn’t go at all.

Maybe Cameron knows or maybe she doesn’t- Sarah can’t tell for sure. What she can tell, though, is that she has a moody teenage and a potentially emotionally charged robot living under her roof.

Seeing her mimic PMS will be a blast.

Jayne/Simon

2008-02-10T04:42:48Z

Title: Dissembling Fact
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jayne/Simon
Rating: R
Warnings: Mild sex scene
Summary: Jayne's always been more of a 'do-man' than a 'talk-man'. That is Simon's only possible explanation.
Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly.
Notes: Written as part of the Firefly Slash-a-thon. For chichiris_chica, who wanted Jayne/Simon, with thrilling heroics, snippets of Simon's life and snark. Hope you enjoy it!

When he lived on Osiris, back before River went to the Academy, back before his father disowned him, back before Serenity, Simon was the very epitome of the perfect gentleman. He was raised that way, as were all the other boys he went to school with. It was just the nature of living in the upper echelons of society. Inara knew it, River, under her haze, knew it, and Simon knew it. The girls were groomed to become ladies, and the boys were groomed to become gentlemen. At the year of their eighteenth birthday they had a debutante ball. The young adults would dance together at a fantastic ball, with floating chandeliers and hors d'œuvre. He remembered his well. He danced with Annabel Choo, the daughter of a wealthy proprietor, who his parents would hoped he’d someday marry. By the time he graduated from the MedAcad, though, they’d long since broken up. His future had started to, as well. The letters from River, the arguments with his parents, which all lead up to him leaving.

Simon tried to keep some of that semblance of his life on Serenity. It was all he had known and, really, it was all he had out here. The little fragments of class, of elegance. It wasn’t that he was trying to bring some kind of culture to the crew, despite what Mal said, but only that it made him feel at home. Made him feel as though everything wasn’t lost out here. He kept his shoes polished, his shirts pressed. Kept the creases in his pants, tried to avoid talking with his mouth full. Kaylee would tease him, River purposefully wrinkling his shirts when he wasn’t looking.

He still grew nervous when River went out on trips with Mal, Zoë and Jayne. She was still fragile, still fell into fits when her mind started to become overwhelmed.

‘She’s the acting pilot,’ he had tried to argue with Mal one day. ‘Isn’t that enough?’

‘She’s a Reader,’ he’d argued back and wouldn’t continue.

But it ate him, the days, hours, leading up to it. He’d slept badly the night before, and he knew, waking up that morning it would be a bad day. Simon tried not to say anything as he watched them pack the mule up, preparing for their delivery. Lots of crates, filled with medical supplies. Simon’s fingers had itched when he found out, wanting to take some to fill up the infirmary, but had held back.

He watched from a distance as River tied her boots up. She was humming, blocking out her surroundings. Music seemed to help her. The chords, the cadences and rhythm.

‘She’ll be fine.’

Simon turned to find Jayne beside him. ‘Shuh muh?’

‘Her,’ Jayne muttered, jerking his chin towards River. ‘She’ll be fine.’

With a frown, Simon stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest. He was wearing one of his favourite vests. Satin, houndstooth. Jayne’s eyes dropped to it and Simon expected him insult it when Mal came through the doorway, announcing they were off. Simon watched as they piled onto the mule and, in bare minutes, they were off.

‘They’ll be back ‘fore you know it,’ Kaylee chirped beside him.

‘You always say that.’

‘Always true, ain’t it?’

Simon eyed her for a moment before heading to the infirmary. They were still friends, even after everything, but he just couldn’t deal with her at the moment. His nerves were eating at him. River might be the Reader on the ship but Simon still knew when things were going to suddenly go askew.

*

Simon adjusted his vest, buttoning it with care and smoothing out any wrinkles. He fixed his collar, puckering it slightly, his eyes on the mirror in front of him. Neat and proper as always. Leaving his room, there was a loud crash from the cargo bay. Racing up the stairs he was only shoved back by Jayne. Blood was streaming down his right arm, drops of it landing on the floor. Following him to the infirmary, Simon glanced over his shoulder. River was standing at the top of the stairs with her familiar wide-eyed expression.

‘He got hurt,’ she said simply.

Shaking his head, Simon raced into the med bay. Jayne was pulling through the drawers, his teeth grit in pain. Blood still trickled down his arm, starting to stain his shirt. Simon pushed Jayne’s hands away, and, with a firm hand on his shoulder, set him down on the bed.

‘Stay,’ he said, sounding as though he was talking to a dog. He moved to the cupboard, pulling out some bandages and antiseptic. Returning to Jayne, he started to clean up the injury. ‘What happened?’

Jayne growled, looking away. Simon’s eyes flickered up to him and pressed harder against the cut. It looked like a knife wound.

‘Do you have to do that?’ Jayne snarled.

Simon stared at him, nonplussed. ‘I’m cleaning the wound,’ he said blankly.

Jayne eyed him, before looking away. Finished with cleaning the wound, Simon traced the injury with a gloved finger.

‘It won’t need stitches,’ he decided aloud. Outside the infirmary, he could hear Mal and Zoë stringing the mule up, busying about in the cargo bay. Flickering his eyes up to the window, he spotted River, kneeling by, watching them. Grabbing some padding, he added some antiseptic to it, and started to wrap Jayne’s arm.

‘Saving your sister’s hide,’ Jayne finally said gruffly. He kept his eyes away, a scowl on his face. ‘Started rantin’ at some guy, tellin’ him his wife as- ow!’

Jayne’s head turned to his arm, where Simon had pulled too tight. Softening his grip, Simon went back to bandaging his arm.

‘He pulled a knife on her,’ Jayne continued. ‘Coulda been her throat.’

Finished bandaging, Simon clipped it in place. Snapping his gloves off, he turned to the cupboard. He could feel Jayne’s eyes on him, watching as he moved. Glimpsing up at his reflection in the window, he watched as Jayne moved off the bed, flexing his arm, testing the bandage.

‘Your vest is ugly,’ he finally said.

Simon looked over his shoulder at him, a brow arched. ‘And I was going to say thank you.’

‘Don’t need your thanks,’ Jayne muttered, pushing his finger against the injury. ‘Just need you to keep your sister out of trouble.’

Simon’s eyes moved back up to where he’d seen River before. She had disappeared.

‘As much as I’d like to help you out with that, I’m unable to keep her on a leash.’

Jayne gave his arm another poke. Sighing and with a roll of his eyes, Simon crossed over to him. His fingers clasped around his wrist, pulling it away from the bandage.

‘Stop doing that. You’re only going to make it bleed.’

He half expected Jayne to reply with something along the lines of wanting to make it bleed, but, surprisingly, Jayne merely jerked his hand from Simon’s grasp. The two shared a long, stony glance, before Jayne turned on his heel and left the infirmary.

*

Pill bottles arranged in alphabetical order. The syringes lined up in one of the drawers. Sponges and washcloths cleaned and bleached, dried and folded according to size. Bandages re-rolled. The counter cleaned and polished, the bed sheets straightened.

River had had one of her fits earlier that evening, straight after dinner, and Simon had spent the better part of an hour trying to get everything back into order. He still hadn’t started on the rest of the infirmary, but most of it had been cleaned up. With a tired sigh, Simon stretched his back out, hearing it pop. Rubbing the back of his neck, he folded the towel he’d been cleaning a spill of antiseptic with (the whole room smelt of it now). The rest could wait for tomorrow.

Turning around, about to leave the medical bay, he found Jayne standing in the doorway. Arching an eyebrow, Simon headed over nonetheless, fully intending to get passed him. He’d grown accustomed to Jayne using his size as a threat, though Simon only found himself pulling back when Vera was in hand and something had happened to rile him up. River attacking him with a knife, for instance, though she hadn’t done that since Mal had made him dispose of all shirts that had anything to do with Blue Sun. Jayne didn’t seem very annoyed in this case, though. Actually, Simon couldn’t read his expression at all.

‘Need something?’

‘I saved your sister.’

Simon frowned. ‘Yes, and I’m thankful for that.’

Jayne didn’t move. Simon stared up at him, then over at the doorway.

‘Could you please move?’

Jayne kept looking at him, the vaguest hint of his brow furrowing as he shifted slightly. Not enough for Simon to get passed but just enough for him to know that Jayne had heard. Simon toyed with the idea of telling him to not think so hard as it may hurt, but decided against it. Too easy a shot.

They stared at each for a beat, Simon trying to figure out why Jayne had turned up at the infirmary. His bandage didn’t have any blood on it, and he hadn’t said anything to draw his attention over dinner.

‘Do you need something?’

Jayne stepped forward and Simon could already feel himself bracing. An angry Jayne was a bad thing, but a non-responsive Jayne could easily turn into something worse. Another step back and Simon felt the end of the bed pushing into his back. The front of his vest was grabbed and he felt himself yanked into a hard, hand-scrambling kiss. A faint noise came from the back of his throat and Jayne’s hand settled on his shoulder. He was aware of the burn of stubble against his cheeks, the way Jayne’s tongue moved against his, just how close they were pressed together, but the biggest thing screaming in his mind in neon colours flashing back and forth like the strip joint down on Beaumonde was the fact that Jayne was kissing him.

Simon’s hand pushed against Jayne’s shoulder with just enough insistent pressure that Jayne actually moved away. Simon stumbled away, along the bed, backwards until he hit the cupboards. Hands sliding along the top, searching for something to protect himself with if all this went downhill.

‘Have you taken anything?’ Simon searched Jayne’s eyes. His pupils were blown, though he couldn’t tell whether that was from drugs or something else.

His words seemed to bring Jayne back from the daze he had been in. He looked at Simon, eyes darting, a quiet ‘huh’ coming from him.

‘Jayne?’ Simon started carefully. ‘You just kissed me.’

Blinking at him, Jayne finally seemed to find his voice. ‘Guess I did.’

‘Why?’

A shrug. ‘Guess I wanted to.’

Simon’s search for something to defend himself with halted momentarily. Hesitating as he dip his chin slightly. ‘Why?’

Another shrug from Jayne. ‘You’re still wearing that ugly vest.’

‘Uh-huh, yeah, Jayne, see- ’

Jayne’s mouth was on his again, pushing him up against the cupboard, his hands pushing at Simon’s vest. Simon squirmed against him, hands flat on his chest, breaking away from the kiss. Breathless, feeling his cheeks burn. Jayne had unbuttoned the top buttons on his vest, his shirt collar pulled aside as he bit at the side of his throat. Gasping, Simon pushed at his shoulder, fingers digging into the tight muscle beneath his fingers.

‘Jayne!’

Jayne lifted his head, though his body was still pressed against Simon’s. His throat was throbbing from where Jayne had bitten him, tiny waves of pleasure running through his body. Endorphins, his mind supplied.

‘What’re you doing?’ Simon breathed.

‘Don’t they teach ya’ nothin’ ‘bout being sly on the rim?’

Simon stared. ‘Sl- you? What?’

Jayne gave a non-committal response, having undone Simon’s vest and making quick work of his shirt. His hands, calloused and rough, ran over his chest, his fingers moving over his nipples. Simon’s head fell back, feeling the stubble on Jayne’s cheeks graze at the soft flesh on his throat.

‘Didn’t think you…’

‘Not,’ Jayne mumbled. ‘Not entirely. Prefer women.’

Simon was quiet in response to that, his hands scrambling behind him on the countertop, trying to keep himself upright as Jayne’s fingers worked down his stomach and to his belt buckle. A part of his mind was telling him to push Jayne back off, to grab a syringe and sedate him, lock himself in his bedroom. Trying to figure out why Jayne was doing this- some twisted kind of revenge for having to save River, or, something Simon wasn’t really trying to concentrate on, that Jayne might be attracted to him.

He couldn’t push off the cupboard, though. His legs had turned to jelly. The only thing keeping him upright was Jayne. One of his hands was on his hip, the other pushing his slacks around his knees.

‘Not really something people talk about,’ Simon finally grasped. He could see where it was going, like a train coming out the other end of a tunnel. Bright lights dazzling his eyes. Jayne grabbed his cock, and Simon dully realised he was hard.

‘Not something they talk ‘bout over there, or not something your family talks ‘bout?’

Simon’s only reply was a strangled groan. Jayne’s hand moved fast, a rough rhythm that Simon found himself trying to follow with his hips. He came hard, fast; his eyes were squeezed shut tight as Jayne bit at his throat. Lights on the back of his eyelids, his breath caught in his throat, his lungs burning as he shook between the cupboard and Jayne’s body. His hands came up to meet his broad shoulders, holding on as his legs threatened to collapse out from under him.

His eyes stayed shut as he felt Jayne moving around, keeping hold of Simon with one hand pressed to his waist. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jayne cleaning his hands with a tissue and tossing it onto the counter. Licking his lips, Simon’s mind whirled as Jayne tucked him back in, zipped his fly up and stepped back. Keeping up against the cupboard, he watched Jayne gave one final look about the infirmary, before turning and leaving Simon there.

*

A week passed and things seemed to return to normal. It was a wonder how quickly Jayne seemed to forget up the incident in the infirmary. Simon, reluctantly, tried to bring it up, but Jayne just shoved him away, ignored the question, turned his attention elsewhere. Frustrated with Jayne’s incompliance, Simon finally decided to take matters into his own hands.

Everyone onboard was asleep or close it. He dressed carefully, making sure the cuffs on his shirt was buttoned, his shoes neatly tied. All tradition, all part of his upbringing. He couldn’t abandon it now, even if Jayne was from some backwater Rim planet.

Slipping out from his room, he tiptoed quietly through the ship. Up a flight of stairs, down the corridor and stopping outside Jayne’s bunk. The latch was still open, the warm glow from his room spilling out. He climbed down, landing gracelessly at the bottom.

Jayne was sitting on his bed in his boxers, putting one of his guns away. Simon didn’t know if that one had a name, not that he cared one way or the other. He looked up as Simon moved around the ladder and moved closer towards him. He grabbed the small curtain that he hung up in front of his guns and shoved it back in place.

‘What’re you doing?’ Jayne demanded to know, squinting at Simon as though he had caught him doing something worse than caring for his beloved weapons.

Simon took a step forward, eyeing him off. He stopped when their knees touched, staring Jayne down. He settled his hand on his shoulder. Jayne looked at the hand then back up at Simon.

Simon smiled, bending at the waist. Their noses touched.

‘You saved my sister.’

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-01-26T04:07:26Z

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-01-26T04:02:56Z

Title: Yellow Wood
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jennifer Keller/Kaylee Frye
Rating: R
Warnings: Very mild sex scene
Summary: She was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. Jen never took that opporunity to mean five hundred years in the future with a rag-tag bunch of people on a ship that looks like it could fall to pieces at any given moment and a girl with a blazing smile and a knack for sweeping Jen off her feet.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or Firefly.
Notes: Third part of four.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

She turns to her head to Kaylee who’s blinking up at her. ‘What?’

‘I’m from the twenty-first century. The past.’

Kaylee raises an eyebrow. ‘Shuh muh?’

‘I… travelled through the stargate in the early twenty-first century… and I wound up here.’

Kaylee, blinking a few times as she listens, frowns and shakes her head. ‘You… what?

‘I know, I must sound insane- ’

‘Just a little.’

‘- but I’m telling the truth. Sometimes accidents happen and when you go through the stargate, you can wind up in another time. It doesn’t happen often, I only know if one other case and that was years ago, but it happened to me.’

Kaylee moves to her feet, still shaking her head and starts to walk away. ‘Jen, you’re crazy.’

‘You thought River was crazy,’ Jen calls after her. She doesn’t mean to say it but it comes out anyway. ‘But… but she isn’t.’

Kaylee stops and turns on her heel. Jen stands up and takes the sunflower Kaylee had left behind.

‘I need your help, Kaylee. I know it must sound insane, and if I were you I wouldn’t believe it either. I’ve been expecting to wake up every morning in a hospital and have this all be some kind of dream,’ she says, handing the sunflower back over to her.

Kaylee takes it, her lips pressed together, brow furrowed. Her fingers brush over the petals, pulling at one until it comes away from the head. She lets it slip from her fingers and it falls with a twirl to the ground.

‘How?’ The word is quiet with a near tremble.

Jen drops to her knees and pats the ground beside her. Kaylee kneels down, clutching the sunflower in her hands.

‘Okay, this is the planet I’ve travelled from,’ Jen starts as she draws a circle in the dirt and writes the date she’d left underneath it. ‘We call it New Lantea. I don’t know whether it’s still called that or if it’s something else, but…’ It doesn’t matter. Jen draws another circle. ‘And this is Persephone,’ she says. She draws a larger circle just above it. ‘And this is Persephone’s sun.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Now, I was meant to go from New Lantea to Persephone, only in my time. But,’ she says, drawing a line from New Lantea to Persephone’s sun, ‘a massive solar flare happened. I was spun around the sun and landed,’ she said, drawing a line around the sun and finishing it on Persephone, ‘five hundred years in the future.’

Kaylee’s silent. Her hands rest on her knees, the sunflower caught under them. Jen watches as Kaylee’s eyes run over the sketch, the way her teeth bite down on her lower lip.

‘I’m basing this off how it happened the other time. Only in that case, the team involved landed back on Ear- ’

‘Do you expect me to believe this?’ Kaylee interrupts.

Jen shakes her head slightly. ‘No.’

Kaylee looks up at her, a surprised look on her face. After a moment, Kaylee turns her eyes away. ‘Anyone heard you talkin’ like this, you’d end up in a bughouse.’

‘I know, Kaylee, it sounds insane, but it’s true.’ She takes Kaylee’s hand and brings it to her chest. ‘Please.’

Kaylee’s fingers curl into Jen’s shirt. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, she points at the diagram with her other hand. ‘So how are you meant to get back?’

‘That’s… the hard part,’ Jen says with a sigh. ‘Coming here was just a fluke. It wasn’t planned… but…’ Jen draws a deep breath and points to the circle that is meant to be Persephone’s sun. ‘When this happened before, I think the solar flare happened on the opposite side of the sun, which sent them into the past. What I think happened to me is something similar.’

‘And you need a solar flare to get you home.’

Jen nods. ‘Appears that way. And it needs to be precise, otherwise I could end up a thousand years into the past.’

Chewing on her lower lip, Kaylee looks over the diagram. ‘We got a program on Serenity that may be able to help you there.’

‘Really?’

Kaylee shrugs a shoulder. ‘Sure. Solar flare comes too close to Serenity and we’re space junk ‘til everything can work again. Gotta avoid them else it gets awful cold awful quick.’

Jen rubs the back of her neck, her lips pursed. That was all too easy. She never trusted things that were too easy. ‘I know the address of the planet I need to get to. But given the precise timing of the solar flare, I won’t have time to dial the address, radio them and get my IDC through.’

‘IDC?’

‘It’s an identification code,’ Jen explains, rubbing her forehead, losing her train of thought. ‘I’ll need to travel to another planet.’

‘Why?’

‘I could get killed. I won’t have the time to let them know I’m coming through and they have a shield over their gate. Step through and smack,’ Jen claps her hands together. ‘Hit it and die.’

Kaylee winces. Jen sighs, her head falling forward. Planets, planets… The Alpha Site is an obvious option. And the Vidanans had slowly started trade with Atlantis, which would be another viable option if the Alpha Site no longer exists.

‘Jen?’

‘I know a few planets that I can go to before heading home. The people are friendly and it should only be a short trip…’

‘People? You mean humans? Aliens?’

‘Uh, people, yes, but essentially still aliens. They’re not from Earth, so- ’

‘Earth?’

‘Yes, that’s… where I’m from.’

‘Te ma de! Earth-that-was was used up years ago.’

Jen eyes her. ‘I’m from years ago.’

‘Oh. Right.’

Drawing in a deep breath, Jen slumps over. She’s still holding Kaylee’s hand; Kaylee’s thumb is rubbing small circles over her knuckles. It’s reassuring. Getting home, back to her time, will have to run perfectly. Not a second too soon or too late. And who’s to say that the computer onboard Serenity will even be able to predict the solar flares from the stars that the planets she can go to? They could be on the other side of the galaxy for all she knows. And names have been bound to change…

‘I think I’m getting a migraine,’ she mumbles into her chest. Kaylee’s hand rests between her shoulders, stroking lightly. Settling her elbows onto her knees, she arches her back. ‘Let’s get back to the ship, Mal’s bound to have returned by now.’

They walk back to the ship in silence, Kaylee swinging the sunflower in one hand, her other wrapped around Jen’s. She doesn’t mind, really, Kaylee holding her hand. Her constant presence calms her, allows her to clear her mind and try to figure out a way to get her plan into action. And even if she is able to get the time of a solar flare large enough to carry her back to her time, there’s no way to say whether it’ll be soon. She can’t imagine Mal sitting around here on Beylix for any length of time when he could be out doing whatever it is he does. She’d end up having to leave the ship and fend for herself until the date arrives.

She and Kaylee arrive just before Mal, Zoë and Jayne turn up in the mule. Jen’s ready to grab her pack when Kaylee’s grip on her hand tightens.

‘You gonna tell them?’

Jen laughs. ‘Like they’d believe me.’

‘I believe you.’

Jen raises her eyes. They’re hoisting the mule back onto the ceiling. She’s surprised Mal hasn’t yet questioned her presence on the ship.

‘And for that I’m extremely lucky. But I’d rather keep this to as few people as possible.’ She pulls her hand away from Kaylee’s and starts to her room. Kaylee reaches out and grabs her elbow, pulling her back.

‘You’re gonna have to get the dates, and I don’t think the cap’n’ll let us go up there and fiddle with the controls any time soon by ourselves. We’d be bian da. You need to tell him. I got Mal to check out the portal situation ‘cause I know you ain’t got the coin to go and pay for a trip, and if this one goes wrong, least you know you can come back here. And if there’s guards there, which there most likely is, I don’t think you got the guts in ya’ to go and che lie their gao out. You know you need us, Jen. You can patch folk up, but do you really think you can hurt ‘em in the first place?’

She has before. On New Athos, while under great stress. It’s not something she wants to repeat again any time soon. She looks away from Kaylee, curling her hands into fists. ‘I can’t get you into danger.’

‘Jen- ’

‘Not interrupting, am I?’

Jen turns to where Mal stands on the steps, his hands on his hips. Kaylee’s hand stays on her elbow, gripping just a little bit tighter.

‘No, we’re- ’

Kaylee cuts her off. ‘Jen needs our help.’

As Mal raises an eyebrow, Jen pulls her arm out of Kaylee’s grip. ‘I’m fine, I just need to get a date and time and then I’ll be gone.’

Mal makes his way down the steps, his eyes moving from Kaylee to Jen. ‘Thought you said you’d be off soon as we landed.’

‘That’s why,’ Kaylee says, ‘she needs our help.’

‘What kind of help?’ Mal asks.

Jen turns her back on them, ready to grab her pack when Kaylee grabs her wrist and pulls her back.

‘She’s from Earth. Earth-that-was.’

Jen’s free hand comes to her face and she shakes her head slowly. She’s expecting Mal to laugh.

‘Shuo huang zhe.’

‘How d’you expect her to get through the portal? Feds are there, protecting it, ain’t there?’

Mal’s silent. Jen pulls against Kaylee’s surprisingly strong grip, still murmuring for her to let her go. She knows none of this is going to be easy but all she needs are the times and…

‘Everything’s strapped in, sir. We ready to go?’

Jen turns her head. Zoë is standing behind Mal, looking over at the three of them with a raised brow. She almost reminds Jen of Elizabeth and the way she’d look at Rodney and John just before they went off and did something mischievous.

‘Not just yet,’ Mal replies to Zoë. He turns to Jen, jerking his chin at her. ‘Get your stuff. We all need to have a bit of a chat.’

*

‘This is a bad idea,’ Jen huffs as she looks over the small room and makes sure she has everything. ‘They’re not going to believe me.’

‘Gotta try,’ Kaylee murmurs from where she sits on the bed, running her hands over the clothes she had leant Jen.

‘They’re not going to believe me.’

Kaylee looks up at her, her lips pouted slightly. Swinging her bag onto her shoulder, Jen motions towards the door. Leaving the clothes on the foot of the bed, Kaylee stands.

‘You still need to get the dates. And if there’s feds at the portal, which there probably are- ’

‘I’ll find a way.’

Jen stops where she is and runs her thumb under the strap of her pack. ‘Kaylee,’ she starts but finds herself unable to finish. Kaylee takes her hand and, without a word, leads her from the small room.

The rest of the crew is already at the dining table when she and Kaylee arrive. She sits beside her, her pack falling by her feet on the floor. Kaylee keeps her hands folded on the table, and Jen itches to hold one of them, if only for comfort. The crew’s eyes dart around the table- all except River, who seems to be more interested with gradually unravelling a thread hanging loose from the neckline of her dress, and Mal, who is eyeing Jen uneasily.

‘Sir?’ Zoë prompts.

Mal glances over at Zoë before turning his eyes back to Jen. ‘Normally I don’t take on non-paying passengers. Last time I did that I got a whole world of trouble shoved down on me. And that ain’t somethin’ I’m looking forward to repeating.’

Jen nods.

‘Now there’s guards at the portal, just like I was guessing there was gonna be,’ Mal continues. ‘Once you get off my ship, your troubles are none of my business. I don’t think I’m goin’ out on a limb here when I say you probably don’t have a gun in that bag of yours and you ain’t the kind to cause much damage in a fight.’

‘No, sir,’ Jen replies automatically.

‘So you need to give one helluva reason for me to even consider gettin’ you through the portal when I could be risking my crew.’

Jen falters. She can feel seven pairs of eyes on her as she stares down at a deep crack in the table. She’s only going to have one chance at this. She squeezes her hands under the table, her short, bitten nails digging into her flesh. She starts carefully, stumbling over her words while she keeps her eyes firmly fixed on the crack.

‘I know you’re all probably wondering why I need to get home through the star… portal, when it’s so expensive and it’d be a lot cheaper to go by ship. And when I tell you why, you’re probably not going to believe me, and for good reason since it sounds so impossible and insane, and in all honesty if I were you I wouldn’t believing me much, either.’

She hesitates, wondering just where to go from here. She doubts Mal is wanting a life story but she knows just going straight into time travel would be out of the question. She licks her dry lips and dares a glance over to Kaylee. The corners of her mouth are pinched, but her eyes are watching Jen intently.

‘I was born in a country called Canada. I doubt any of you have heard of it. When I was fifteen, I moved to another country called the United States, with my parents. There’s a state there, called Wisconsin. I studied hard, and eventually attended one of the best colleges for medicine- Johns Hopkins,’ she says, looking over to Simon. ‘I know you haven’t heard of it, and that’s most likely because it doesn’t exist anymore. Anyway, I focused on infectious disease and over time I graduated. After a short stint of actually working in a hospital I was accepted into a secret military organisation known as the Stargate Program.’ She stops, wondering if she should go into how she found out about it but decides against it. Men in black suits and all that really weren’t as interesting as they were made out to be on TV. Clearing her throat, she continues. ‘By the time I joined, the military had known about the stargates for seventy, maybe seventy-five years. It hadn’t been until ten years prior that we actually found out how it works.

‘It’s a transport device,’ she continues after a breath. ‘Created by a far superior race than ours that allows interplanetary travel. Even intergalactic given the right power. It’s what you know as the portals. It has its own power source, which we call the DHD. Dial-Home Device. It doesn’t require any money to help power it, and from what I’ve learnt the Alliance is scamming every person who steps through it.’

‘A superior race?’ Mal suddenly repeats.

Jen looks up at him. ‘Yes.’

‘Like… people or something else?’

‘Aliens.’

A loud laugh comes from Jayne. Jen looks at him with a frown.

‘Like I said, I’m not expecting any of you to believe me. And I’m quite certain you’d rather have me off your ship then sitting around and taking up space and eating your food. But you’re giving me a chance here to explain myself,’ she says looking directly at Mal, ‘and I’d appreciate it if you gave me the chance.’

‘If you start sprouting go-se about aliens then- ’

Jen stands up quickly, her chair screeching as she pushes it back. ‘If you can give me one solid explanation as to how you have artificial gravity on this ship without some form of rotational gravity then I’ll leave without saying a word. But the fact is, captain, you have a gravity generator which even I know involves such complicated physics that even the most intelligent physicists can’t solve the problem.’

Mal stares up at Jen, his brow narrowed, until Kaylee speaks. ‘Grav boots and dampeners always seemed a little outta line to the rest of the engine.’

When nobody says anything else Jen slowly sinks down back into her seat. Calming down, she goes on. ‘They’re called the Ancients. And they’re millions of years old, and I mean millions. Without going into the entire history, they built the stargates across the Milky Way galaxy.’

‘Where… Earth-that-was used to be?’ Inara says.

Jen nods. ‘Earth… Earth-that-was, whatever you want to call it, it was one of their more important planets. You could say they helped populate it.’

‘You mean they were screwin’ around with people?’ Jayne asks.

‘In cruder terms.’ Jen draws in a deep breath and rubs the back of her neck. ‘Fast-forward several thousand years, and we discover the stargates.’

‘When did they find them?’ Mal asks.

‘1928.’

There’s silence, much like Jen expected there to be. Underneath the table, she feels Kaylee’s hand squeeze her thigh.

Mal coughs. ‘You said when you joined the program, they’d known about the… stargates for seventy years.’

‘Yes.’

‘Math ain’t my best talent, but that ain’t adding up right.’

‘Under… the right circumstances,’ Jen looks up at the ceiling, her fingers digging into her hands again, ‘and I’m talking the exact gravitational pull of the sun, the timing of solar flares, their size and just when you pass by in the wormhole, you can travel through time. And before any of you laugh or say anything, I want you to understand that I have already gone over the idea of having myself committed. But please, if you do think I’m insane, humour me.’

Zoë raises an eyebrow at Mal. ‘How long have you been with the program?’

‘Just a few years. I eventually applied for a position on Atlantis after the former Chief Medical Officer was killed in an accident.’

‘Atlantis?’ Mal repeats.

‘Yes. It used to be home to the Ancients. It’s in this galaxy. When we arrived, there were already colonies out here with other aliens. I don’t know what type of technology is used to terraform planets out here, but I doubt it would have been necessary. Most planets out here are already quite capable of sustaining human life.’

Under the table, Kaylee’s hand takes hold of Jen’s, her thumb rubbing circles on her knuckles. It’s calming.

Mal shifts in his seat so he’s facing Jen better. ‘You’re saying that the Alliance has covered up the entire history of this system?’

‘Yes.’

‘Wouldn’t be the first time they’ve pulled the blanket over our eyes,’ Simon murmurs as he looks over at River, who is slowly but steadily twisting the string around her finger.

‘This isn’t a whole planet that has been da si, Doc. This is the entire gorram lai li of the system. Rutting aliens! You will excuse me,’ Mal swiftly turns back to Jen, ‘if I don’t believe your story, miss.’

‘There’s certain technology in hospitals that is way beyond any design I have seen in other areas. The 3-D neuro-imager I used to scan River’s brain, it’s far more sophisticated than- ’

‘You think little green men created it?’

‘Ancients aren’t little or green,’ Jen murmurs. ‘They’re human in appearance, only kind of… glowy. And white. The Asgard are… were green. They mostly stuck to the Ida galaxy, though in some cases they did come to the Milky Way.’

Mal gawks at her as he says to himself, ‘I’m startin’ to wonder if this is how Jayne feels most of the time.’

‘It would explain how River is able to read minds,’ Jen says only a little louder than before. As Mal stares at how, she continues. ‘When the Ancients… procreated with humans on Earth, they left a genetic marker. It’s a specific gene, and only a small percentage of the population has it.’

‘Wouldn’t it be obvious?’ Simon asks.

Jen shakes her head. ‘Not necessarily. You only know it’s there if you’re looking for it. For the most part, it’s not noticeable. The gene is really only useful if you’re using Ancient technology that requires it. But it can certainly evolve. One of my co-workers, Rodney, he was… I guess you could say zapped by this machine we found on Atlantis and suddenly he turned into Superman and he was reading minds and had telekinetic powers…’ she drifts off as she remembers having Elizabeth tell the story to her with a laugh. ‘Anyway, it’s entirely possible that the gene has since evolved from my time, or River has a very powerful version of it. Some people take to it very naturally, like an instinct.’

‘Could I have it?’ Simon asks.

‘It’s entirely possible.’

‘What about me?’

Jen turns to Kaylee, who’s grinning with a hopeful look in her eye. ‘You’re very gifted with machines. I wouldn’t be surprised.’

‘Okay,’ Mal cuts, ‘let’s just say for a gorram minute that you are from the past. It’s not as simple as you getting through the portal and being in your own time, right?’

Jen sighs. ‘No. Judging from what has happened before- and there’s only one other incident that involves something similar happen that we have records of- it involves a massive solar flare. I’ve written down what I believe has happened,’ she says as she grabs her bag and starts digging through it. She pulls out the text she’s been writing in and sets it on the table. She flips it open to the page where she’s scrawled down ideas and rough diagrams. ‘Kaylee was telling me earlier that you have some kind of program that can find the exact times of solar flares.’

Mal takes the book and looks over what she’s written. Zoë leans over to glance over it. The two share a look before Mal turns back to Jen.

‘What planet do you need to go to?’

‘The Alpha Site,’ Jen replies as she scratches her neck. Digging into her bag, she pulls out a pen and takes the book. Flipping to a blank page, she starts drawing circles in a makeshift star map. In the middle one, she scrawls down Atlantis. ‘This is where Atlantis is. It’s on a planet called New Lantea.’

‘Haven’t heard of it.’

‘It’s mostly oceans. There are a few continents, though we haven’t thoroughly explored them yet. Mostly forests, though there are a few deserts near the equator.’

‘Any moons?’ Inara asks.

‘Five.’

Inara looks over to Mal. ‘Bellerophon.’

Jen makes another mark on her map. ‘This is roughly where the Alpha Site is. It’s mostly forest, but it has a very large mountainside. A river cuts through it. I haven’t gone there much myself but from what I’ve heard it has two moons.’

‘Could be Aberdeen,’ Zoë suggests.

‘Could just as easily be Salisbury,’ Mal adds.

‘Or Whittier,’ Jayne suggests.

‘Apparently it has really large dragonflies,’ Jen says.

‘Definitely Aberdeen.’

Jen watches as Mal looks at the rough map. He keeps his arms crossed over his chest as he leans back, his brow knitted.

‘It’s a bit far,’ he finally says. ‘The time of the solar flare following what you’ve got down here will be da gai at best.’

‘Am I going to need something closer?’

‘It might be able to be done,’ River suddenly says. ‘A few adjustments, slip of a wrist. Send you hurtling through space but the gravitational pull of the heavenly objects will allow you to fall into place. Keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times, we’re in for a bumpy ride.’

Mal’s silent for a few minutes. Finally, he says, ‘what happens if it goes wrong and you don’t return?’

Jen shakes her head. ‘I don’t know. I guess I’ll be stuck here, or in whatever time I end up. With any luck it’ll work, or I’ll find another way to predict a solar flare.’

‘Or she could stay with us,’ Kaylee suggests.

‘Kaylee- ’

‘She cleaned the septic vat better than you or Jayne ever has.’

Mal opens his mouth to reply but Jen interrupts. ‘I’m crossing my fingers and hoping it’ll work.’

‘And if it does?’

Jen shrugs. ‘You’ll never know.’

Mal and Zoë share another glance. ‘River,’ he says while still looking at Zoë.

River is already out of her seat and halfway across the kitchen. ‘I’ll get the dates.’

‘So you’re going to help me?’ Jen’s trying not to sound excited. It doesn’t automatically mean she’s going home.

‘I don’t want to stick around any longer than I have to. If the flare you need is at a close date, than maybe.’

Jen nods. Kaylee gives her hand a tight squeeze.

River is back in a few minutes, thankfully saving Jen from Jayne’s questions about the Ancients and their relations with the people of Earth. She hands Jen a piece of paper with a list of dates written down.

‘The earliest is three days from now,’ Kaylee says as she reads over Jen’s shoulder.

‘Why is there a date for eighteen months from now?’ Jen asks, looking up at River. River doesn’t reply and starts pulling at a thread on the sleeve of Simon’s shirt.

Mal pushes away from the table and stands. ‘Jayne, it’s your turn to cook dinner.’

‘Wait,’ Jen gets up, frowning. ‘You’re going to wait three days?’

‘Do you want to get home or not?’

‘Yes, but…’ she can’t seem to finish.

‘Then we’ll be waiting three days. End of discussion.’

‘Still- ’

‘Bi.’

Kaylee tugs on her hand. Jen flops back down into her seat and stares at the piece of paper with the dates, her mind spinning.

‘Thank you,’ she finally chokes out. Kaylee strokes the back of her hand as Jen keeps her eyes on the dates. ‘I’m going home.’

Kaylee keeps her head down and gives a slow nod. ‘You are.’

*

She slips over to the engine room before dinner. It’s not going to be the traditional sit down Jen has found herself getting accustomed to. Jayne had decided if they were staying planetside longer than expected then they ought to check out the local bar. A few of them had agreed, though Jen shied away- that just seems a little too odd for her. Kaylee hadn’t been present and Jen had made a note to find her.

‘Kaylee?’ Jen peeks her head through the door to find Kaylee swinging back and forth in her hammock, her eyes on the ceiling. When she sees Jen, she rolls from the hammock and runs a hand through her hair.

‘Jen, I wasn’t… I thought…’

‘A few of the crew are thinking of going out for dinner…’ she drifts of as Kaylee turns away from her. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Shiny,’ Kaylee replies.

Jen grabs her hand and pulls her back. Her eyes are slightly red, her face flushed. ‘Have you been crying?’

Kaylee shakes her head. ‘No.’

‘Kaylee…’

‘I’d sorta hoped… hoped that you’d lost your memories or somethin’, ya’ know?’ Kaylee says in a small voice. ‘I’d made up this whole story for ya’, right when I first met you, and it sorta just… grew. That… that you’d been a doctor for the Alliance, only you’d been a spy. And you’d been workin’ on the portal, only you knew that they’d always been there, and you were lookin’ for a way to expose it.’ She gulps down a breath before she continues. ‘And then they found out somehow. That you knew what was going on, and that you were a spy. And you ran, only they caught up with ya’. And they… they erased your memories. But they couldn’t finish it, ‘cause you escaped and went through the portal, the stargate, and you wandered a bit ‘fore you came to Persephone.’

‘Where you met me.’

Kaylee nods. ‘I convinced Mal that… that you’d lost some of it. Forgotten some things. That’s why he let you stay on. He didn’t like it, and we fought the first night you were here. I told him… told him you were a Browncoat. Like him. But you’d forgotten some of it, ‘cause you’d double-crossed the Alliance and they’d caught up.’

Jen’s quiet, her thumb rubbing the back of Kaylee’s hand. Kaylee lets out a small, almost choked laugh.

‘And I sorta convinced myself that you didn’t have anyone else. Anything left, ‘cause of what you’d done. And that you’d stay.’

‘I can’t,’ Jen whispers.

‘You could.’

Two tears fall down Kaylee’s cheek, a wet line of dirt trailing after them. Another one falls and Jen’s heart wrenches. Squeezing Kaylee’s hand, Jen pulls her closer.

‘Kaylee, you’ve only known me a week.’

‘I know,’ she chokes, ‘but I’d made up this entire fantasy, and Inara helped some, too, so it’s not all my fault, but… But I thought it’d be so romantic. And you’d stay out here, and maybe you’d learn to cook better…’

Jen laughs only it comes out more of a cough. Kaylee drifts off as another tear falls down her cheek. Reaching out, Jen wipes it away, along with the other, with the back of her hand. She can feel her own eyes starting to sting.

‘You’ve only known me a week,’ she repeats. Kaylee nods, her eyes down. ‘I don’t belong here.’

‘You could- ’

‘No,’ Jen shakes her head. ‘It’s like Inara and Simon, only… only they know everything. They’re from this time. This… technology, your people. But most importantly, they chose to be here.’

‘Well, Simon didn’t really choose.’

‘Kaylee…’

‘I know what you mean.’

They’re silent. A hot tear trickles down Jen’s cheek. Kaylee’s thumb meets it, wiping it away.

‘I could go with you,’ she finally whispers.

Jen shakes her head. ‘No, you couldn’t.’

Pursing her lips, if only to stop her lower one shaking, Kaylee nods. ‘I couldn’t.’

‘We have a hard enough time trying to let aliens on Earth… I can’t imagine what they’d do having someone from the future and another planet arrive. Even if you do have forty-six chromosomes.’

Kaylee lets out a strangled laugh. ‘That supposed to be some kind of compliment?’

‘You love Serenity too much. And everyone onboard.’

‘That includes you.’

Jen closes her eyes. Her forehead presses against Kaylee’s, her free hand coming to rest on her waist.

‘You’ve only known me a week.’ It’s become a mantra in her mind, a way to push past the conflicting emotions. She knows she has to go back, but even so, a week in a tiny vessel makes bonds tighter.

‘Don’t mean I don’t care for you any less.’

‘Kaylee,’ Jen starts but is unsure of how to continue. Her lips brush against Kaylee’s, uncertain until Kaylee kisses her back. It’s slow, hesitating, as Jen cups Kaylee’s face, her other hand resting on the back of her neck, fingers twisted around Kaylee’s hair. Her lips are soft. Kaylee’s tongue swipes against Jen’s lower lip, and Jen parts them. Kaylee takes a few steps forward and Jen stumbles backwards, her back against the doorframe. Her hand curls around the edge, fingers slipping. There’s something pressed against her back, and Kaylee’s hammock is in the way, but Kaylee keeps kissing her and Jen can only sigh into her mouth.

Kaylee’s hands pull at her shirt, her hands running over Jen’s stomach. Jen’s lips slip from Kaylee’s and they move over her cheek and to her jaw. Her fingers curl around Kaylee’s hair, tilting her head back as her mouth smears against her throat. Jen hears her gasp as her teeth graze along the delicate skin on her throat, and Kaylee’s hands roam further up, her fingers brushing up along her ribs and to her bra. Jen’s about to reach out and pull at the zip at the front of Kaylee’s coveralls when Mal’s voice echoes down the hall and around the room, sounding like a crack of thunder.

‘Kaylee!’

Kaylee pulls back like she’s been shot and Jen finds herself tugged to the hammock. She falls backwards and Kaylee flops down beside her. The hammock lurches and Jen can’t help but wonder if it’s meant to hold this much weight.

Mal’s in the room barely second later and he stops as he looks at them. Jen tugs at her shirt, pulling it back over her stomach where it has been rucked up. She folds her hands in her lap and looks up at Mal, trying her best not to fall into a fit of giggles. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Kaylee smiling up at him.

‘Cap’n?’

‘Jayne, Zoë and I are thinkin’ of heading to town to check out the jiu jing.’

‘Jen was just tellin’ me that.’

‘You coming?’

‘Think I might stay here.’

Mal nods and, after saying his goodbyes and directions to stay out of trouble, leaves the room. Jen listens to his feet heading down the corridor and lets out a peal of laughter. She doubles over, her whole body shaking as she laughs.

‘I feel like I was just caught by my own father,’ she says as she struggles to catch her breath. She turns to Kaylee, tears falling down her cheeks.

‘At least I’m wearing clothes this time,’ Kaylee replies, laughing loudly.

‘What?’ Jen’s side hurts, her jaw aching as she keeps laughing.

‘S’how I got the job,’ Kaylee explains in between giggles. ‘Got caught rutting about with the first mechanic.’

Jen falls into another fit of laughter, her arms wrapping around her waist as she collapses against Kaylee. Kaylee’s arm falls around her shoulder, her fingers brushing against her arm.

‘You wanna stick around while I xiu bu jing with the engine?’

Jen doesn’t have much idea of what she means, but she lifts her head anyway and nods. ‘Sure.’

*

It’s almost like starting again, now that her secret is out and the crew know where she’s from. Jen knows that most of the crew were already a little suspicious of her, and she wouldn’t be surprised if that suspicion is now heightened. Why would they need to believe her?

Even so, they stay on the planet. Jen keeps to her task of cleaning up. They could be losing money by staying on the planet and keeping to her duties seems to be the right thing to do. It’s almost habit now, something that she’s fallen into during the past week. It’s grounding in a way; it lets her think, go over her plans and quietly wish that everything goes well and that she’ll be home, in her own time, in three days.

She doesn’t talk about it over breakfast the next morning. She’s not sure what to say, if she should say anything at all. A dozen questions circle her mind when she thinks about it- is she allowed to? What if it causes some kind of paradox? Will it cause the entire universe to collapse? Travelling into the future instead of the past is different, and she has a feeling she’s already seen too much and she’ll never be able to talk about it once she gets home, but she doesn’t want to cause too many rips in time.

Inara’s the last one to leave the table. Jen’s not certain where everyone else has gone, though Kaylee had mentioned wanting to go out and see the town. Inara lingers, her lips parted as though she wants to say something. Jen glances at her as she takes a mouthful of her breakfast. It’s the rest of the soup from last night’s dinner. Jayne had made it, saying it was his mother’s recipe and they better damn like it.

‘What’s it like?’ Inara finally asks.

Jen glances down at her bowl. ‘Not bad. Could do with less salt, though.’

‘I meant the past.’

‘Oh!’ Jen sets her spoon down and licks her lips. ‘That’s not too bad either.’

Inara laughs quietly, the slightly strained kind as though she doesn’t let herself do it often. ‘According to books, people left Earth in the twenty-first century. That’s where you’re from, right?’

Jen nods, but she hesitates to answer. ‘We have the technology… though it’s secret. And according to whom you choose to listen to, we’ll have to leave Earth soon or we won’t. Global warming and all that.’

‘What do you think?’

With a shrug of her shoulder, Jen stands and takes her bowl as well as Inara’s empty one. ‘I haven’t been on Earth for quite some time. I don’t know what the situation is like there.’

‘You must be looking forward to going home,’ Inara comments as Jen sets the dishes in the sink and starts to wash them up with the rest.

Jen keeps her head down as she fills the sink with warm, soapy water. ‘Yes,’ she finally says. ‘I guess I am.’

*

She doesn’t wander far from the ship. Kaylee tries to drag her out to the small town they have on the planet, but Jen holds her ground. There’s a variety of reasons- she’s seen too much of the future, the guards from Persephone may see her, all her belongings are on the ship. Mostly she’s scared.

It’s a warm day, and Jen pulls her jacket out and lies down on the dusty ground by the large rock that sits in the middle of the sunflowers and lets the sun soak into her skin. The sky is clear and the planet they’re circling is a pale lavender that stains the sky. Jen stretches her arms out behind her head before resting her head in her hands. She shuts her eyes and her toes curl inside her shoes. It almost reminds her of being back on Earth, when she’d suntan by the pool during the summer.

There’s a movement beside her and Jen cracks an eye open. Kaylee’s sitting beside her, her legs splayed out and a large item in her lap. She’s leaning back on her hands, her head back and face up to the sky.

‘Back so soon?’ Jen asks as she tries to push herself up.

‘Nothin’ much to see in town,’ Kaylee replies and tilts her head towards her. Almost as an afterthought, she says, ‘you might get burnt.’

‘I might,’ Jen agrees.

Kaylee sets the package in Jen’s lap. ‘This is for you.’

Surprised, Jen plucks at the paper bag that it’s in and smiles shyly up at Kaylee. ‘Thank you.’

Pulling the bag back, she finds a wood carving of some kind of bird. Holding it in her hands, Jen turns it over, running her hands over the wood.

‘It’s a swan,’ Kaylee explains as Jen’s fingers pass over the neck of carving. ‘Inara thinks every planet has the same kind of carvings, so I thought I’d get you one… to remind you of your time… out here.’

‘Oh…’ Jen’s fingers drift along the face, feeling the grooves where the wood has been cut a little too deep. Turning to Kaylee, she breaks out into a grin. ‘Thank you. You shouldn’t have, I’m sure you could be spending your money on something else, but… thanks.’

Kaylee hugs her, the swan getting pressed between them. She pulls back, though her hands linger on Jen’s arms,

‘I’m going to miss you.’

With a sigh, Jen sets the swan down in her lap. ‘Kaylee…’

‘It’s true. Never had a time traveller onboard before, an’…you know.’

She doesn’t want to have this conversation again. ‘I’ve only been here for a week.’

‘I know that.’

‘I can’t stay here.’

Kaylee’s hand drifts down to Jen’s and she entwines their fingers. ‘I’m still gonna miss you.’

‘I’ll miss you, too,’ Jen whispers as Kaylee’s head rests on her shoulder. ‘I’ll miss all of you.’

Kaylee pulls on her hand and tugs her onto the ground. Jen looks up at the bright sky as Kaylee rests her head in the crook of her neck, an arm wrapped around her waist.

‘Yan huan,’ she murmurs.

Jen closes her eyes and threads her fingers between Kaylee’s. She doesn’t know what Kaylee’s saying but even so, she finds herself sighing, ‘I can’t.’

*

She helps with dinner that night. Kaylee props elbows up on the table as she watches Jen and Simon patter around the kitchen. Jen is cooking rice (mostly at Simon’s request), though she’s not too sure if it’ll turn out any better than Simon’s. Dinner rolls around, and Jen finds herself sitting next to Kaylee, her hand resting on Jen’s knee. A part of Jen wants to move it off because despite the fact she does want to pursue a relationship with her, she’s leaving in two days. But even so, she places her own hand over Kaylee’s and gives it a squeeze. It almost makes her hesitant to leave. Almost.

She’s not sure how her rice goes down with everyone. Jayne makes a comment that it’s as bad as Simon’s, but everyone eats it with a little more fervour than they did with Simon’s rice, and Jen takes that as a good thing. She answers a few questions about what it’s like in the twenty-first century, though she’s careful about what she says.

Dinner winds down, and Kaylee mentions there may be a coolant leak that she should check out. Mal lingers by the table as Jen starts to stack the plates in the sink.

‘Thank you,’ she says. Mal looks over at her, and Jen’s unable to read his face. ‘For staying here. For helping me.’

Mal grabs a towel and leans against the counter. ‘Been in the black for two weeks before we reached Persephone. Crew got less than a day planetside. Another week in space, anyone’s bound to get cabin fever. No skin off my back.’

‘But you didn’t need to help me. You probably don’t even believe me.’

She hands him a plate and he starts to dry it down. ‘You clean the dishes better than anyone else here. Thought I’d make a shi nu outta you a bit longer.’

Jen’s lips curve into a grin. ‘I wouldn’t believe me if I were you.’

‘I ain’t good at physics. But I’ve had to believe in some pretty strange things, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is just another cover-up of the Alliance.’

Jen sits a plate down on the sink and turns to him. ‘I’m not asking you to be a hero.’

‘Wasn’t planning to.’

They’re quiet, and Jen keeps her eyes on the dishes. After a moment, she takes a breath.

‘But I do mean it. I am thankful. You were right; I’m not much of a fighter. Had to shoot someone a long time ago, and that’s not something I want to do again any time soon. I’d be stuck out here if it weren’t for you letting me on your ship. And I wouldn’t be able to get home if you hadn’t up and said you’d help.’ She hands him a plate and lifts her head. He’s looking at her, his brow furrowed slightly. ‘I’m grateful.’

‘Got that.’

‘You don’t seem the type to stick around in one location for too long.’

‘I prefer the sky.’

‘People might start talking if you stick around for too long.’

‘People don’t talk ‘less you give them something to talk about.’

Jen studies him for a moment, before nodding. ‘I guess you’re right,’ she says, handing him the last of the plates. ‘Kaylee said she had to convince you to keep me on the ship.’

‘Some words may have been exchanged.’

‘Pretty wild story she told you.’

‘I knew her xiang xiang li was runnin’ away with her.’

‘Must have been believable enough for you to keep me on the ship.’

Mal smirks and hands the dry plates to her. Jen takes them and starts stacking them away. ‘She’s a good judge of character. Her skills with machines ain’t the only reason I keep her on the ship.’

With a fond smile, Jen closes the cupboard and leans back. ‘Yeah… she told me you weren’t going to throw me out the airlock.’

‘You thought I would?’

Jen shrugs. ‘I’m a bit paranoid.’

‘But you came aboard.’

‘And a bit stupid.’

‘That kinda thing can get you into trouble.’

Jen eyes him, her eyebrow quirked. ‘Is this where you pull a gun on me?’

Still smirking, Mal turns away. ‘Yu bun duh,’ he shakes his head and makes his way around the counter. It almost seems like an afterthought when Mal speaks, but Jen guesses it isn’t. ‘What I don’t get is where all the aliens went, that you mentioned.’

‘Wish I knew,’ Jen replies. She hopes that they won the war against the Wraith and Replicators but with the entire history of the Pegasus galaxy wiped she doesn’t have a clue. And as for the Athosians and everyone else… she can only hope for the best. ‘If you want the whole history, I can give you the name of a top-class anthropologist, but he might be dead. Five hundred years in the future and all.’

Mal lets out a short laugh. ‘When you get back, see if you can stay in that time long enough to find out.’

‘I’ll leave a message somewhere for you to dig up.’

Mal pauses in the doorway, a crooked smile on his face. ‘Yeah, you do that.’

*

They discuss their plans for getting Jen through the stargate early the next day. Mal, Zoë and Jayne had been talking about it the day before (though Jayne wanted to keep Jen around longer so he could get out of doing the dishes) and had come up with a rough plan.

‘I don’t want anyone dying,’ Jen states.

‘People die, we can’t do nothing about it,’ Mal retorts.

‘I still don’t want anyone dying because of me.’

Mal pauses before rolling his eyes. ‘We can’t have a chat with the guards and see if they’ll let you through just this one time without paying.’

‘Does it have to involve bullets?’

‘You got any other ideas?’ Zoë asks.

Jen frowns but shakes her head. ‘No.’

Mal looks at the piece of paper that River had written the dates on. ‘Flare happens at three o’clock. That gives us enough time to check everything out. Past two days there’s only been two guards standin’ in front of the portal. Even though the Alliance has taken a liking to this planet, they still see it as nothing more than a garbage dump. With any luck there should only be two tomorrow.’

‘Is there a DHD near it?’ Jen asks. At their confused looks she explains. ‘A sort of podium-like thing. It has a round top with a bunch of buttons on it.’

Zoë nods. ‘There is.’

Jen lets out a breath. That’s one point to her.

‘You’ll have to stay back while we disarm the guards,’ Mal says, continuing.

‘Without killing them?’

‘Lao tyen yen, we will try.’

‘I just don’t want- ’

‘Do you want to get home or not?’ Mal snaps, cutting Jen off.

‘Yes, I just- ’

‘Then whether people die or not ain’t your problem. We won’t have much time, because they won’t have just two feds guarding the portal for long once we start shooting. Whether they’re down or not, you’re gonna need to get moving so you can get through in time.’

‘If other guards do come what are you going to do?’ Jen asks, her eyes darting between Mal, Zoë and Jayne.

‘River’s going to have Serenity nearby,’ Zoë says.

‘You could get hurt.’

‘And you could be stuck out here,’ Mal points out.

‘That’s not all bad,’ Jayne pipes in. ‘She could pay her keep on here.’

‘You just want to get out of clearing the septic vat,’ Jen teases. ‘Anyway,’ she continues more seriously, ‘I have to get home. For all I know they’ve already held my memorial service and my father’s in mourning. And half the time I have no idea what any of you are saying because I don’t speak Chinese.’

‘Then you’ll be going along with it?’

Jen lowers her eyes, rubbing her hands together. ‘I don’t have much of a choice.’

‘Bang ji le.’

Jen drifts off as the three discuss the key points to the plan. She already knows what she has to do. She’s already set her watch to Beylix time and even if they’re under fire she’s going to be trying to get through the stargate as soon as it’s time. Serenity won’t be waiting for her if she doesn’t get back to her own time and has to go back to Beylix, which, in short, terrifies her, but she can’t linger on that. She has to get home.

*

Kaylee often visits her before bed, but that night Jen goes to her. Her bag is ready (once more), and her concerns over tomorrow’s events have left her wired. She creeps through the ship, her eyes sliding over to the other passenger dorms. River’s light is on but Simon’s room is dark. She slips up the stairs and through the corridor to where the crew’s quarters are. Kaylee’s room is easy to see, where the Christmas lights dangle over the door. It’s open and a warm glow escapes from within. She knocks on the wall and almost jumps when the metallic rap echoes.

‘Wei?’

‘It’s me,’ Jen calls down, holding on to the railing. Her head’s already spinning and it’s not even that far a drop.

Kaylee’s head appears at the bottom of the ladder. She grins up at Jen and waves her down. ‘Come on in.’

Steadying herself, Jen climbs down, her hands shaking. She’s never been good with heights, not even small ones like this. Kaylee meets her at the bottom and Jen becomes acutely aware of the small space between the ladder and wall.

‘Whatcha doing?’ Kaylee asks. She’s in what Jen guesses are her pyjamas- not very different from her usual clothes, with floral prints and pink.

‘I just thought… it’s my last night, I thought I’d come and see you.’ In all honesty, Jen doesn’t have much idea.

‘Oh…’ Kaylee reaches across and presses a few buttons on the keypad beside the ladder. Up above the door locks. Jen looks up at the noise. Small places have never been a concern for her. Kaylee takes her hand and tugs her away from the ladder. ‘Come on.’

Kaylee flops down on the bed but Jen sits down more carefully.

‘I am going to miss you,’ Jen finally says after a long pause. ‘I’m not the best in stressful situations unless it’s a medical emergency. This is far… far out of my stress capabilities, but you… You made it better. Easier.’ She looks up at Kaylee and smiles softly. ‘You’ve been a godsend.’

Kaylee, blushing slightly, ducks her head. ‘Now you’re makin’ me embarrassed.’

‘It’s true, though,’ Jen stresses. She plucks at the blanket she’s sitting on that’s some mixed pink-orange shade. ‘You’ve really… made everything easier. And at the same time, you’ve made it harder because part of me doesn’t want to go. I do, but… you know.’

She looks up at Kaylee and reaches out, brushing her hair behind her ear. Her hand still resting on the side of her head, she leans in and kisses her. Kaylee’s hand curls around Jen’s hip, pulling her closer. Jen’s hand slides down to her shoulder, pushing down the thin strap of Kaylee’s shirt, her fingers gliding over her bare shoulder and down her arm.

Breathless, Kaylee pulls away, her lips red and kiss-swollen. Her hand on Jen’s hip moves up, her thumb rubbing a small circle on her stomach.

‘You have to go home,’ she says. Jen nods, licking her lips and tasting Kaylee. ‘Stay,’ Kaylee rushes on.

Jen doesn’t need her to clarify. Glancing over her shoulder, she looks up at the ladder, unable to see the door that is shut up above. Turning back to Kaylee, she pulls her shirt over her head.

‘Okay.’

*

Jen wakes to find Kaylee running her hands over her, gently rubbing small circles against her skin. Her head is on her chest, and Jen’s arm is caught underneath her. One of Kaylee’s legs is draped across her thighs, her body snug against Jen’s.

‘Morning,’ Kaylee whispers.

Jen groans, flexing her fingers. ‘You’re crushing my arm.’ Her mouth is dry, her eyes blurry. Kaylee wriggles and Jen eases her arm against her side. Kaylee curls back around her, her arm draped over her waist. ‘What time is it?’

‘About six o’clock.’

‘How do you know?’

Kaylee points across the room to a blurry object that Jen can only guess is a clock. ‘Time’s usually on Sihnon time, but I set it to Beylix ‘fore you came down last night.’

Jen blinks a few times, trying to clear her eyes. Her jaw hurts, no thanks to last night’s events. She tilts her head to Kaylee. She’s propped herself up on her elbow, her hair curling down her shoulders. Jen rolls over onto her side, her shoulder still aching from Kaylee having slept on it all night.

‘I’m sorry, I’m not very romantic.’

Kaylee shifts slightly, her hand resting on Jen’s arm. Her laughter drifts off, her smile fading some. ‘You’re leaving today.’

Jen diverts her eyes, looking down at the blanket that’s draped across them. ‘Mm…’

Moving off her elbow, Kaylee pulls the blanket up, over their shoulders and curls herself back around Jen. She kisses her chest and tilts her head to meet Jen’s eyes.

‘I’d say I’d write,’ Jen murmurs, her thumb brushing over Kaylee’s cheek, ‘but the letters might get lost in the post.’

*

Jen and Kaylee head out of the ship after breakfast. It’s already hot, which is a stark contrast to the cool temperature on the ship, and Jen ends up taking her jacket off fairly quickly. Her bag is sitting in the cargo bay by the door, ready to go. There are a few dark clouds in the sky, making the planet in the distance barely visible.

‘It’s only meant to rain here two months a year,’ Kaylee says, her hand curled around Jen’s.

‘Is it going to rain today?’ Jen asks. It’s humid and her shirt is sticking to her skin. The rain would be a blessing if she wouldn’t get sticky afterwards. She’d like to stay inside, but Kaylee loves being outdoors. Jen can understand, with the amount of time she spends in space.

‘Don’t think so. Shi jie ain’t for a while yet.’

They find themselves heading to the large rock. They sit under the ledge, where the shade stretches out, disappearing into the sunflowers. The crickets are loud, and somewhere in the distance a bird is calling.

‘How much time d’you think has passed on Atlantis?’ Kaylee asks.

Jen lets her head fall back against the rock, her eyes on the clouds. She’s been trying to find shapes in them but nothing is coming to her.

‘Not too long I hope. As long as they haven’t told my father I’ve died I’ll be okay.’ She looks down at their hands. Jen rests them in their lap and Kaylee leans against her, her head on Jen’s shoulder.

‘I won’t be able to tell them anything,’ Jen finally says after a pause.

‘Why?’

‘It’d be like someone coming from the future to this time and telling everyone that, I don’t know, you’re the malevolent president of the universe whose population you keep in your unyielding grip. You can’t know that. Though I guess travelling into the future is easier than travelling into the past.’

‘How’s that?’

‘Too many paradoxes, I guess. Grandfather paradox. Go back in time and accidentally kill your grandfather, and then you cease to exist.’

Kaylee is quiet for a while, her fingers trailing over the back of Jen’s as she looks out at the sunflowers. There’s a tiny breeze that sends them rocking.

‘At least if you travel into the past,’ she finally says, ‘you could just wait it out and stay in one place.’

Jen smiles and glances down at Kaylee. ‘That’d only work if you’d travelled back a short while. Not fifty years or something.’

‘You could still contact the people you know. Just their younger versions.’

‘Be lonely, though.’

‘Yu ren de.’

Jen lets go over Kaylee’s hand and wraps it around her shoulders, pulling her closer. In a lot of ways, travelling into the future is easier, Jen guesses. She doesn’t need to hide herself so much. There’s still the gnawing fact, though, that she won’t see any of them after today.

*

They leave around two-thirty, with Mal telling River and Simon to stay onboard. River’s to fly Serenity at the clearing near the stargate for the rest of the crew to head after Jen’s gone. The feds will be after them, Mal makes a note of pointing out.

‘Just don’t kill them,’ Jen pleads as she swings her pack onto her shoulders.

Mal and Zoë share a glance but don’t reply.

‘I got a question,’ Jayne says, cutting through the silence. ‘Why is Kaylee with us?’

‘I wanna say goodbye to Jen,’ she replies.

‘And why is Inara with us?’

‘I’m here to make sure Kaylee gets back to Serenity safely,’ Inara answers coolly.

‘So why is River with us?’

Mal stops and turns, looking at River. She stares back at him.

‘I wanted to see it,’ she finally says.

Simon runs up behind and grabs her wrist. ‘Mei-mei, don’t wander off.’

‘Wasn’t wandering,’ she mumbles, but lets herself get tugged off.

Jen’s tempted to point out the reason she’s there but decides it’s better not to. Up ahead, Mal, Zoë and Jayne go over the key details of the plan, with Inara lingering just behind Mal.

‘You should go with Inara,’ Jen says. Kaylee looks over at her, her head cocked slightly. ‘Just in case. I don’t want you getting hurt.’

‘I was hoping to watch you go.’

‘If everything goes well, I’ll have to go so fast that I won’t have a chance to say goodbye.’

Kaylee’s eyes drift to the ground, her teeth chewing on her lower lip. Jen tightens her grip on Kaylee’s hand, offering a small smile. They walk quietly, Jen’s eyes darting between Kaylee and their surroundings. Kaylee’s head is down, her hair falling in front of her eyes.

‘Everything will be okay,’ Jen whispers.

‘How will I know if you’re back in your time safely?’

‘You won’t.’

‘What if you’re still in my time?’

Jen presses her lips together, her eyes on Mal. He’s talking to Zoë quietly.

‘I’ll try to find you, I guess. I’m sure I’m able to do something more than just clean up after everyone as an effort to earn my keep. Or I could go back to Persephone. I’m sure I could get a job there. Really, though, it’s not something I’ve thought about.’

‘I bet everyone on Atlantis will be happy to see you.’

Jen nods. ‘Or shocked. Don’t know how long I’ve been away for.’

They keep walking in silence. Up ahead, Mal stops and turns to Jen.

‘We’re near the portal. Zoë, Jayne and I are going to go up there and surprise the guards. Kaylee, you and Inara better head back.’

Jen takes a quick glance at her watch before looking over at Kaylee. Her eyes are on her, and Jen finds herself looking away. She can’t look at her.

Mal heads off with Zoë and Jayne. Kaylee turns to Inara.

‘Bie.’

‘Mei-mei.’

‘I’ll catch up,’ Kaylee insists. Inara smiles at Jen, then, with a gentle brush on Kaylee’s shoulder, turns and walks in the direction they came.

‘You should go with her,’ Jen says.

‘I just want to say goodbye.’

‘It could be dangero- ’

‘Jen,’ Kaylee wiggles her hand free and tugs at the necklace on her neck. Pulling it off, she slips it on Jen’s neck, tying a knot at the back.

Jen takes hold of the end, looking at it. It’s a small wheel, possibly a Buddhist symbol. With a fond smile, she looks back up at Kaylee. ‘Thank you. You already gave me the swan.’

‘This is a bit more special,’ Kaylee replies, her thumb brushing over the necklace, then over Jen’s hand.

Jen swallows, her tongue running over her lips. She glances at her watch- 2:47. Her

‘I won’t forget you.’

Kaylee grips the back of her shirt, holding her close. ‘I love you.’

Jen squeezes her eyes shut, holding Kaylee close. She presses her lips to Kaylee’s temple, gripping her tight. A series of loud gunshots cut through the air. Jen jerks back, head turning to where the shots came from. She kisses Kaylee quickly, and with one final look, runs through the trees to the stargate.

Frantic, she breaks through the trees, and in the small clearing, she spots Mal, Zoë and Jayne. Two men lie on the ground and Jen blanches.

‘Are they dead?’ she can’t help but ask as she lunges for the DHD.

‘Gan mang!’ Mal shouts.

She hastily dials the address of the Alpha Site and takes a look at her watch- 2:48.

‘I have to wait!’

Her heart is pounding hard, her eyes focused on her watch. She shuffles backwards, towards the gate, her eyes on the fallen, bleeding guards. One of them is breathing though she can’t see the second one clearly enough. Kaylee’s words are still ringing in her head. Staring down at her watch, she clutches the necklace with her other hand. The seconds seem to tick by. There’s a sound coming from the trees and Jen braces. Kaylee breaks through, panting.

‘Kaylee!’ Mal’s voice is loud.

‘They’re coming,’ she pants. ‘The feds, they’re coming! ‘Nara’s gone to Serenity.’

They move quickly. Jen stumbles backwards to the gate, another quick glance at her watch. 2:49, too soon.

Kaylee runs over to her and grabs her wrist. ‘You have to go, now!’

‘It’s too soon, I could wind up anywhere.’

Panic fills her eyes and Kaylee looks around. Mal is yelling her name, telling her to go. With a firm grip on Jen’s shoulders, Kaylee shakes her head.

‘I’ll miss you.’

Jen doesn’t have time to reply. She’s pushed backwards and she falls back, into the stargate.

She lands heavily on her back on the other side, the air escaping from her lungs in one long whoosh. She stares up at the sky, her eyes wide and unblinking, unable to move. Her mouth open and eyes stuck on the pale blue sky above her, Jen lets out a loud choke. She’s gone. She’s gone and she could be in the twenty-first century or she could be in the twenty-sixth century, or anywhere in between or further.

With a sob she squeezes her eyes shut, forcing herself not to cry. She rolls onto her stomach, her pack beginning to dig into her back. Her elbows are grazed. Looking around, she finds herself in the middle of a field. There’s no sign of any Alliance guards, but there’s not sign of anyone from Atlantis. Rubbing her elbow, she heads to the other side of the DHD. She takes a quick glance at her watch- 2:51. A few seconds too soon or too late and she could be in the wrong time. Her hands shaking, she pulls out her GDO and radio from her pockets. Slipping the radio over her ear, she dials the address of Atlantis with her other hand. The wormhole opens and Jen stares at it, her hands shaking.

Punching in her IDC, she waits, her legs ready to collapse underneath her. There’s a crackle in her radio.

‘Dr Keller?’

Jen almost break down. ‘Colonel Carter?’

There’s a pause, and then Sam’s voice comes back through. ‘Come on through, we’ve been waiting for you.’

There’s chaos when she steps through the stargate. Voices and hands and lights and Jen’s head is swimming with it. Sam’s there, and John and Rodney. Teyla, Ronon, Lorne. Jen’s grabbed and her pack is off her back in a minute. She can hardly concentrate on the noise around her, but finally Sam takes her hand and looks her in the eye.

‘Are you okay?’

Jen pauses, focusing on her, before nodding. ‘Shiny.’

*

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-01-26T03:57:26Z

Title: Yellow Wood
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jennifer Keller/Kaylee Frye
Rating: R
Warnings: Very mild sex scene
Summary: She was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. Jen never took that opporunity to mean five hundred years in the future with a rag-tag bunch of people on a ship that looks like it could fall to pieces at any given moment and a girl with a blazing smile and a knack for sweeping Jen off her feet.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or Firefly.
Notes: Second part of four.

Part 1. Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

She decides early on that she’s glad she didn’t join in on the game of hoopball. The few things Jen can figure out is that Kaylee and Jayne are on one team, Mal and Zoë are on the other, and River really, really wants to join in but Simon won’t let her. She paces back and forth behind Jen, following the ball while Simon tries to guide her away from the edge of the catwalk.

Jen leans against the railing as she watches the game below. Zoë has the ball and she’s trying to get past Jayne. Mal is trying to signal to Zoë behind Jayne while Kaylee’s jumping up behind Zoë and trying to whack the ball out of her hands. River is struggling against Simon’s grip.

‘Go around! Go around!’ she’s crying, though who’s meant to go around escapes Jen.

Zoë tosses the ball. It soars through the air, misses the hoop and lands easily in Mal’s hands.

‘Somebody could get seriously hurt,’ Jen says as she spots Inara out of the corner of her eye. The woman crosses over to her with a small smile.

‘Sometimes I wonder if that’s why they play it,’ Inara replies. Her voice is gentle, soothing, a direct contrast to the noise going on below them. ‘Sometimes we’re on this ship more than four weeks. An injury would be a change.’

Jen knows that feeling. A standard trip on the Daedalus is three weeks, but sometimes, if something goes wrong or they need to stop, a day longer can feel like eternity. Sure, they never brought out a ball and play some kind of basketball/Calvinball mixed game, but she’s heard stories of people cracking out smuggled Vodka and playing I Never.

Kaylee has the ball now. She’s balancing on Jayne’s shoulders and, with a lurch, throws the ball through the hoop.

‘I thought we’d decided that’s cheating!’ Mal calls. River is cheering, her high voice muffling Mal’s. Simon’s let her go and she’s jumping up and down. The grate is rattling under her bare feet.

‘Calm ‘er down!’ yells Jayne. Jen turns her eyes to Simon just as rolls his eyes and places his hand on River’s back. Turning her eyes back to the scene below them, she watches as Kaylee slides down Jayne’s back and races up the stairs to the catwalk where Jen and Inara stands.

‘Inara, you interested in joining us?’

Inara gives a wry smile. ‘You four seem to be handling it well on your own. Besides, last time I was on your team, I was nothing short of terrible.’

‘Yu bun duh.’

Jen steps away from the two, her eyes still on the cargo bay where the other three are standing, the ball tucked under Mal’s arm. Mal and Zoë seem to be discussing game tactics.

‘Jennifer!’

Jen turns around with a small ‘hm?’

Kaylee jerks her chin down towards the cargo bay. ‘You wanna have a go?’

Widening her eyes, Jen shakes her head. ‘No, that’s a bit…’ She’d never been very good at sports. While she was never picked last for the team she certainly wasn’t in the top three. ‘I’ll pass.’

‘It’s fun,’ Kaylee insists.

Inara rests her hand on Kaylee’s shoulder, smiling kindly. ‘Jennifer and I both agreed earlier that it’s a little bit too dangerous for our tastes.’

The corners of Kaylee’s mouth purse as she turns to Inara. The two stare at each other as Jen awkwardly steps backwards, tilting her head some. Kaylee breaks the gaze first, rolling her eyes as she walks off past them and to Simon who is already saying no. Inara shifts her eyes to Jen, as if expecting her to question it.

Swallowing thickly, Jen jerks her thumb behind her. ‘I should… lunch. Dishes, I’m meant to…’

Deciding that attempting to finish the sentence would result in further nonsensical words, Jen turns on her heel and heads off to the kitchen.

*

It’s easy to lose herself when she’s doing the dishes. It reminds her of home, either in Canada where she grew up or in Wisconsin where she moved when her father got a new job when she was fifteen. Or even in Colorado Springs where she rented an apartment before being sent to Atlantis. It’s one of those little things that seem to remind her of other times. Not necessarily better or worse, just one of those things that transcends everything. She did the dishes the night she found out she’d been accepted to Johns Hopkins and she did the dishes the night her mother died. It didn’t matter what was going on, certain things still needed to be done, if only to tell herself that the world was still turning and this was just something that happened.

She tells herself this now. It doesn’t matter if it’s the twenty-sixth century. She needs to find a way home and at the moment she has a place to sleep, food in her stomach and she could be doing a lot worse for herself. Other people- people she knows- have travelled through time and come back in one piece.

Granted, that was SG-1, best stargate team on Earth. And they had travelled into the past, so even if they hadn’t found a way back home, they would have reached the year 1999 eventually. Time may not move in a straight line but damn if it doesn’t seem to do that.

Putting the last cup away, Jen dries her hands on the towel and sets it aside. Jayne, Simon and Mal are playing some kind of card game. It looks like poker but there’s something alien about it. River’s sitting just away from Simon, having returned from the cockpit, her eyes on one of the windows above the kitchen as she watches the stars. Kaylee is with Inara. Jen had heard them having overheard talking about retiring to Inara’s shuttle as dinner was winding up.

Walking around the counter, she rests her hip on it as she watches the men play. Mal, who appears to be acting as a dealer, throws down some cards. Curling her fingers around the counter, she watches as the men throw down their bets. River lifts her hands up and squints.

‘Take the blue,’ she says. ‘And throw it away.’

‘Don’t let your sister start helping you cheat,’ Jayne growls.

Simon rolls his eyes.

Pushing away from the counter, Jen heads through the doorway and down the corridor. As she leaves, she hears Jayne say something in Chinese that can only be a curse and Simon laugh, ‘I wanted to get rid of it!’

She winds her way back to her room. The dim light that fills the room with a warm glow reminds her of her room back on Atlantis. This one is definitely smaller but even so…

She falls down on the bed, her eyes unfocused on the ceiling. She knew Sam as well as the rest of the SG-1 team made it back to Earth. She’d read the report after all. And the Elizabeth from an alternate time… she’d travelled back in time with the alternate Sheppard and Zelenka, though that had been by the Puddle Jumper.

There was a way it happened- there had to be a way.

‘Think, Jen, think.’

A bubble. That wasn’t normal. A bubble had appeared, but there hadn’t been any mention of a bubble in the report. They’d travelled into the past though, and even then a very short distance, and they had wound up back on Earth.

But hadn’t they travelled into the future, too? But that wasn’t five hundred years.

With a groan, Jen’s hands come up to her face. Rubbing her eyes, she sighs loudly. A bubble, Sam possibly telling her not to go through… she’d arrived on Persephone only at a different time. And a girl who could possibly read her mind, but she had no evidence other than-

Solar flare.

That’s what she had said.

‘Solar flare…’

Only the solar flare had caused them to travel around the sun and back, Jen thinks, her fingers digging into her scalp. Unless… the bubble was part of the effect. A ripple effect.

It could be possible. A powerful solar flare that caused the bubble and the ripple shook her forward as opposed to backwards.

‘Jen?’

Jen drops her hands and sits up fast. ‘Kaylee. I didn’t hear you.’

Kaylee stops, as if she isn’t expecting Jen to be awake. ‘You don’t mind me calling you that?’

Frowning, Jen blinks a few times. It takes her a moment to figure out what Kaylee had just asked. ‘No, no, it’s okay.’

Kaylee motions with her hand, asking to come in. Jen nods, rubbing the back of her neck as she swings her legs over the side of the bed.

‘Thought you mighta had a headache or something.’

With a thin-lipped smile, Jen shakes her head. ‘Just… thinking.’

Kaylee walks over after sliding the door shut behind her, and sits down next to her on the bed. ‘Looks like it was givin’ you a bit of a headache. You wanna maybe talk about it?’

Hesitating, Jen looks down at her knees. Sure she did, if only to sort out her thoughts. And Kaylee…

She’s put her hair back. A large, pink ribbon is in her hair, done up in a loose bow. With the coveralls and the grease still on her cheek it looks slightly ridiculous but still charming.

‘Your hair,’ Jen starts, reaching out to touch the ribbon.

Kaylee’s hand moves to her hair, patting it as if to make sure the ribbon is still there. ‘You like it? I once went to this real fancy party back on Persephone. There was dancing and I got to wear this real pretty dress. I could show you it if you want, it’s in my bunk- ’

‘What do you know about stargates? Portals,’ she corrects with a shake of her head.

Kaylee is already on her feet. Faltering, she sits back down. ‘What about ‘em?’

Jen turns to her, adjusting her position so one knee is tucked under her. She hadn’t meant to ask, but Kaylee… well, she looks younger than her, and if she’s already working on a ship… Licking her lips, Jen rubs her hands together before answering.

Casual, have to be casual. Don’t raise concern.

‘Just… well, you know a lot about engines and machines,’ she starts with a forced laugh, ‘and I’m better with people, so…’ Swallow, this shouldn’t be so difficult, ‘just because I’ve travelled through them doesn’t mean I know a whole lot about them.’

Kaylee nods, listening to her.

‘And I know that you have to dial an address on the DHD to get to another one, and it utilises wormhole technology and there’s a window for how long the gate will be open, but sometimes in certain circumstances it’ll be open for longer, like… like a black hole, and it’s powered by a control crystal, which I know you don’t like, but, hah, there you go, and- ’

‘Seems to me you know a lot more about ‘em than you’re letting on,’ Kaylee interrupts. She looks impressed with how much Jen knows.

‘Pardon?’

‘Alliance only started producing ‘em two years ago.’

‘Alliance? What?’ Jen frowns.

‘Yeah, the Alliance said they’d been tryin’ to put ‘em together for ages. Nobody really believed ‘em ‘til the first two were opened up on Ariel and Osiris.’

Osiris? Jen thinks, the Goa’uld?

‘Where you been hiding?’

Jen runs a hand through her hair, stopping at the nape of her neck to give it a squeeze. ‘Um… sorry, I don’t…’

Kaylee’s hand rests atop Jen’s that is on her knee. Jen looks at it, watching as Kaylee’s fingers curl slightly.

‘I got an idea,’ she says, standing abruptly. Jen looks up at her, eyebrows raised. ‘You wait here.’

Kaylee slips out of her room, leaving Jen behind. When she returns, there’s a small, notebook-like object in her hand. She sits back down beside Jen, pressing up against her.

‘This is Simon’s. Don’t tell him I took it.’

Jen looks over Kaylee’s shoulder as she opens it up. A small, luminescent screen is one side, while pointers are lined up on the other, each with a name above it. Medical Science, Universal Encyclopaedia, Anatomical Engineering, Bio-Physical Atlas, Human History and Languages.

‘It’s updated whenever important stories are announced,’ she explains as she pulls the pointer out for Universal Encyclopaedia and slips it into the spine of the notebook.

The screen changes. Words scroll by, Jen unable to catch them all.

‘Portal,’ Kaylee says. The words- titles of various articles, Jen guesses- flash by until Kaylee presses down on one. The screen stops, and beside a lengthy article is a picture of a stargate. Jen takes the notebook from Kaylee’s hands, squinting at the tiny words. Kaylee leans over her shoulder and says, ‘read’.

Before Jen can tell her that she can’t actually see the words, a tinny, female voice comes from the notebook.

‘The portal is a device that allows almost instantaneous travel between places. Having been under construction by the Alliance for more than fifty years, these portals, when activated, create a stable, artificial wormhole that is connected to another portal.’

Fifty years? Jen thinks, bewildered. Alliance?

‘After coming into use in the year 2517, the portals have since been introduced in all the Core planets, as well as a select few on the rim.’

A map flashes up onto the screen that includes a list of planets that stargates are on.

‘Standing at twenty-two feet tall, these devices are made out of the heavy mineral, naqahdah- ’

‘Wait, stop,’ Jen says. The voice is immediately cut off. Jen stares at the screen for a moment, before continuing. ‘I want to hear more of the history. Of… of how the Alliance made them.’

Kaylee hums quietly as she runs her finger down the notebook screen. ‘Here,’ she says, pushing the screen. ‘Read.’

‘The discovery of naqahdah, a superheavy metal, prompted the construction of the portals. Having discovered to be a superconductor that is capable of storing and converting various kinds of energy, Alliance scientists theorised that naqahdah could be used to control stable wormholes. Construction of the portals began in 2467, three years after the discovery of naqahdah. The process was a long and arduous journey, with the tragic death of many scientists. Many experiments were done to create a safe journey through the wormhole. After extensive trials, the portals were released to the public.’

‘Stop!’ Jen interrupts. She stares at the notebook for a moment before turning her face up to Kaylee. ‘Is that it?’

Kaylee stares at her, eyes wide. ‘Is what it?’

‘Is that the history,’ Jen clarifies, ‘of how the stargate… the portal. Of how the Alliance… made it?’

She hates saying it. It’s not right. It’s all lies. How could they not realise how they were created about the Ancients? How could this Alliance, this… government pretend to make them?

Jen bites her lower lip, staring at the image on the screen of the stargate. It goes against everything she knows to be true.

‘Jen?’ Kaylee’s voice is soft as she touches her wrist. ‘The notebook is updated by the Cortex, it’s- ’

‘The Cortex is wrong.’ Jen stands up, the notebook falling out of her lap and onto the floor. ‘It’s all wrong,’ she says, turning to Kaylee. ‘It’s… everything, the Cortex, the notebook, it’s not true.’

The words fall from her lips before Jen even realises they’re out there. Kaylee stares up at her, lips parted just slightly.

‘It’s a bunch of lies. None of it’s true. The… the part about naqahdah is, that’s true, but the… the Alliance…’ she can’t say it. Kaylee’s already staring at her in confusion and she can’t help but wonder if Kaylee thinks she’s crazy. Hell, Jen would if she were in her position.

‘Sure, they’re a bunch of yi nian mai guo, but…’ Kaylee wanders off, squinting at Jen then down at the notebook. She reaches down and picks it up, sliding the pointer out of the spine and putting it back in place.

Jen doesn’t have proof and she doesn’t expect Kaylee to believe her. The only thing she has to prove that it’s not true is what she’s seen, back in her time.

‘I’m not Alliance,’ Jen says, reaching out and grabbing Kaylee’s wrist. Not tight, just enough to make her stop and meet Jen’s eyes. ‘I’m not. I…’ Pause, try to think. Something that isn’t a lie but isn’t the blatant truth, either. Not that Kaylee would believe her even if she told her about the Stargate Program. ‘I… work… used to work.’ Close her eyes, deep breath.

Only Kaylee’s fingers slowly pry Jen’s hand from her wrist and slip through her own. Jen opens her eyes and looks down at their hands. Her pale hand contrasts against Kaylee’s darker, more tanned one.

‘Do you think Simon would mind if I kept onto this for a little bit longer?’ she asks as she takes the notebook and waves it around.

‘Don’t think he’d even notice.’

Kaylee keeps hold of Jen’s hand as Jen turns the notebook over in her other hand. The Alliance is lying about the creation of the stargates and nobody seems to know the truth.

She lifts her eyes to Kaylee and presses a finger to her lips. ‘This’ll be our little secret,’ she says softly. ‘Simon won’t find out.’

Kaylee winks and gives her hand a squeeze. ‘Not a peep.’

*

Her eyes are aching by the time she turns the notebook off and crawls under the sheets. She’s exhausted mentally and emotionally. Everything is wrong. This new government is hiding the entire history of the Pegasus galaxy, and, in extension, the Milky Way galaxy. The Stargate Program is hidden in the present- Jen’s present- because people can’t yet handle the idea of life outside Earth. But these people… some of them practically live in spaceships. Floating around in space like those travellers John had encountered. Surely they could handle it now.

But if the notebook is anything to go by, there are no aliens here. No Wraith, no Replicators, no mention of humanlike populations anywhere. And definitely no mention of the Ancients.

They’ve hidden it all, she thinks, rubbing her eyes. Everything. One lie after another and nobody’s questioning it.

Rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand, Jen groans. There are too many thoughts running through her mind, too many lies. Every part of it. On and on and on and none of it is true.

They’d come to the Pegasus galaxy after the resources on Earth (or Earth-that-was as they seem to call it) had been used up. And off they’d gone, with a whole generation never stepping outside the ship.

‘It shouldn’t have taken that long,’ Jen murmurs to herself, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. ‘Not with the technology that we have…’

Or maybe they’d been hiding it, a voice in her mind says. A way of controlling the population. A whole generation on a ship, people can’t procreate like they usually do. And by the time they ended up here, they’d have a smaller population. They’d fear the government.

And this apparent terraforming that had taken place once they’d reached the Pegasus galaxy. Not even with the technology they currently possess with knowledge of the Ancients, the Asgard, even the Goa’uld, they hadn’t found any information about terraforming. Sure, there was that long-extinct race that was transforming a planet so many years ago, and apparently the Ancients had terraformed some planets themselves, but they hadn’t found anything that could be of use for Earth. Sure, they may have made discoveries since then- over five hundred years have passed, after all- but so many planets were already capable of sustaining human life in the Pegasus galaxy the Alliance wouldn’t have had any need to terraform anymore.

And most disturbingly of all, there was no mention of aliens. Jen had looked and looked but all she could figure out was that there were no aliens in this galaxy, or any other galaxy for that matter. It’s like they have never existed. A slate wiped clean, ready for human re-population. There was a brief mention of what at first Jen had thought might be aliens- Reavers- but even then it turned out to be an experiment by the Alliance gone wrong. A group of people had discovered it and shown it to be a secret, though no names had been mentioned. And that was when the Alliance pulled out the stargates, in an attempt, Jen presumes, to regain control over the people. If Jen were in their shoes, she’d sit up and pay attention, too.

But even so…

She’s never been one to stand up and give directions, unless she’s in her medical bay where she knows the ins and outs like the back of her hand. She’ll follow directions if it’s necessary, support people through times of crisis. But this is way out of her league and there’s no way she can tackle this. Hell, those people that found out about those Reavers are probably in prison or dead.

There was no mention of Atlantis, either. Jen hadn’t really expected there to be, but it’s still a shock to know that her home, everything she’s worked towards, isn’t mentioned. Not even a mention of a myth, a story, that there was once a magnificent city once inhabited by a ragtag group of people, working towards building a home for themselves. It’s almost like the last straw. She knows she’s alone out here. That this future is nothing like she’d once dreamed it to be. That not even Atlantis can stand up to this strange government that denies the past and keeps the present in its tight, unyielding grip.

Jen rolls onto her side, hands curling into the pillow. If she can’t get home she’s going to rot out here. This isn’t her home; this isn’t ever going to be her home. Even Kaylee, sweet as she is, can’t stop that. Her bright, bubbly smile warms Jen, even just thinking about it, but she still can’t ignore that feeling eating at her. Pulling her knees up, Jen reaches above her head and turns the light off. The room is plunged into darkness and the sound of the engine humming surrounds her. It’s oddly comforting. It reminds her of Kaylee and home. Atlantis. The two connected in a way Jen can’t describe.

*

It’s shortly after breakfast when Jen finally catches Kaylee. She hadn’t seen her over breakfast, though Jayne had been complaining that ‘that damn girl shouldn’t be ‘llowed to be so damn chirpy all the gorramn time’. Jen’s wiping down the table when Kaylee bounces in, grinning.

‘Kaylee,’ Jen greets her, ‘I wanted to thank you for, ah, lending me that…’ she tilts her head slightly. She doesn’t know where Simon is but even so. This isn’t her ship and these people aren’t her friends. She doesn’t want to be accused of stealing when she fully intends on returning the notebook.

Kaylee waves her hand. ‘Ain’t a problem.’

Finishing on the table, Jen crosses back to the counter and shakes the crumbs from the towel into the sink. Kaylee follows her over, her elbows propped up on the counter. Jen’s a little surprised to find her hands clean, not a speck of grease or oil on them.

‘D’you remember last night?’ Kaylee starts. Jen nods slightly. So many lies, so many things hidden. Enough to make her head spin. ‘About the bow in my hair?’

Jen lifts her head, brow furrowed. ‘Huh?’

‘The big pink bow? And I was tellin’ you ‘bout the party I went to?’

Jen searches her mind. So many things… the stargate, Alliance… Kaylee had put her hair back. ‘Oh, right, yes.’

Kaylee grins. ‘Well, I was wonderin’ if you’d like to come and see my dress. If you’re not too busy,’ she adds quickly, raising one of her hands. The corners of Jen’s mouth quirk upwards into a smile as she dries the last of the dishes. It must be a real fancy dress if Kaylee’s made sure her hands are clean before touching it.

‘I was planning on scrubbing the toilets, but I guess I can take some time out of my hectic schedule,’ Jen jokes. She sets the towel on counter and follows Kaylee as she natters on about the party Mal took her to. Jen hasn’t been to the crew quarters, and she’s not expecting much. It’s completely different to the Daedalus, though. The latches almost remind her of cold chambers, which sends a shiver down her spine. Kaylee pushes open one of the doors where her name is taped on and surrounded by fairy lights. She climbs down, calling back up for Jen to follow.

Breathing in deeply through her nose, Jen clutches the railings on the ladder and makes her way down. She twists her way past the ladder and lets her eyes wander over the room. It’s only a little bit larger than her room with a warm, muted light. Hanging beside Kaylee’s bed, dangling from the roof is a fluffy, pink dress. It vaguely reminds her of a pink, overly ruffled dress Scarlett O’Hara would have worn. Kaylee crosses over to it and smoothes down some of the ruffles.

‘Normally I don’t keep it hangin’ out in case I spill somethin’ on it, but I pulled it out just for you.’

Kaylee can’t keep the smile off her face as she beams up at it. She stands in front of it, arms swinging back and forth. Jen stares at the dress, not quite sure what to look at more- the bodice or the fluffy skirt.

‘It’s pretty, ain’t it?’

Jen catches herself before she answers with ‘no’. Instead, she says, ‘I’m sure you looked beautiful in it.’

Her answer seems to be the right one. Kaylee looks up at the dress wistfully, her hand running over the ruffles that line the skirt.

‘Have they got parties like this on Wisconsin?’

The ‘on Wisconsin’ part causes Jen to do a double take. She trips over her answer, though Kaylee doesn’t seem to be paying her much attention as she keeps her eyes on the dress.

‘Uh, sort of. I guess. Not many, not… not where dresses like those are worn. I mean sometimes, but I haven’t really been invited to any. And those I have been, I only went to a few…’ Her mind drifts back to her rather disastrous prom where her boyfriend broke up with her three weeks before the night and her replacement date was drunk when he came to pick her up.

‘Were they fun?’ Kaylee asks, looking over her shoulder at Jen.

Jen shrugs a shoulder. ‘They were… memorable.’

Kaylee takes a few steps back. Jen wonders if her cheeks are sore from how long she’s been smiling for. She sighs happily and falls down onto her bed, her arms stretched out behind her, propping herself up. Jen’s eyes wander over Kaylee’s bunk, over the Oriental designs that decorate the walls, the plastic flowers that are strung along one of the benches and to the small cupboard pushed up against the wall. The whole room actually looks very comfortable.

Kaylee pats the mattress beside her. ‘Come sit down, I ain’t gonna bite.’

Jen moves to sit down beside Kaylee, her eyes still drifting over her room. ‘It looks homely.’

Kaylee nods. ‘More home to me than actually being planetside,’ she says. ‘You findin’ everything okay?’

‘It’s…’ Jen bites her lower lip, trying to come up with an answer. ‘I don’t really travel much. But it’s nice. My room’s comfortable.’

Kaylee grabs a cushion from behind her and brings it to her chest, hugging it. ‘What’re your plans for when we reach Beylix?’

Rubbing her hands together, Jen can’t help but shrug. ‘Go home, I guess. Beylix wasn’t exactly where I was planning on ending up but you go where you go, I guess.’

‘You got much family back on Wisconsin?’

‘My dad,’ Jen replies as she brushes her fingers along the tassels that line the cushion that Kaylee is hugging. It’s a soft, crushed velvet. She can’t help but wonder just how long she’s been gone for back on Atlantis. It’s only been two days here but that doesn’t exactly equal two days on Atlantis. Hopefully they haven’t called her as MIA.

Shifting, Kaylee lays the pillow flat on her lap, hands running over it. She opens her mouth to speak when Mal’s voice fills the room. The captain himself follows it a beat later as he climbs down the ladder and drops into the room. He looks over at Jen, then Kaylee.

‘Cap’n,’ Kaylee breaks the silence as she stands. ‘I was just showin’ Jen the dress you got me.’

Mal keeps eyeing Jen as he answers Kaylee. ‘Need you in the engine room. She’s starting to fa ga ga sheng again.’

‘That’s nothin’ to worry ‘bout. Won’t do any damage.’

Jen looks away from Mal, his gaze starting to creep under her skin. Kaylee’s by her dress, her hands stroking the skirt affectionately. Actually, the dress isn’t all that hideous. It has some kind of charm.

‘It’s starting to drive River up the wall. Don’t want her climbing back onto the ceiling again, do ya’? And Jennifer,’ Jen looks over at him, wide-eyed. ‘You should get onto the septic flush.’

‘Septic…?’ she repeats. Maybe her joke earlier about cleaning the toilets wasn’t just made in fun.

‘Don’t want to be wading knee-deep in go se,’ Mal says as he turns back to the ladder and climbs up it. Jen watches him go, her stomach already starting to curl.

Kaylee gives her hand a squeeze. ‘I’ll get you some gloves.’

*

She can’t get the smell out of her hands. She’s washed her hands until they’re red raw and even pulled out the small bottle of antiseptic she had her in her pack. She now smells like bleach but even then she can still smell the stench from the septic tank on her. She’s currently soaking the clothes she had been wearing in a small dish in her room, hoping that Kaylee’s clothes aren’t forever ruined.

‘Mal get you to do the septic flush?’ Simon asks her. He’s cooking dinner while Jen sits at the dinner table, picking at her fingernails.

‘Can you smell it?’

Simon laughs. ‘No. Just your face. It’s a mirror image of mine first time I had to do it.’

Jen sniffs her hands. They still smell like bleach. ‘I won’t have to do it again, will I?’

‘You’re the one who offered to do the cleaning until we get to Beylix.’

‘I didn’t want to get kicked out of the airlock.’

‘Mal wouldn’t do that,’ he says, and adds quietly, ‘unless you pull a gun on him.’

‘I have a hard time believing he’d let me sit idly on his ship for a ride I haven’t paid for.’

Simon doesn’t reply. The protein he’s preparing for dinner is sizzling on the stove. Jen watches him move around the kitchen, poking at the fry pan the protein is in with a chopstick. He scrunches his nose up and pulls a face before turning to the cupboards. The all look like tiny little lockers, something that confuses Jen.

‘How did you and Inara come to be on the ship?’ Jen asks.

Simon pulls something out of one of the locker-like cupboards and turns back to the fry pan. ‘Shuh muh?’

‘You and Inara,’ she repeats. ‘You two don’t really… fit on the ship, if you get what I mean.’

‘Inara,’ he says, shaking what Jen only guesses is pepper into the pan, ‘I think came on here for business. Broaden her range of clients, that sort of thing. Me…’ he sniffs the pan and pulls back, as though deciding the protein will do. ‘I came out here with River. She… wanted to get away from it all.’

Jen arches an eyebrow. ‘That’s a big thing to do for your sister.’

‘Life sometimes takes you places you weren’t expecting to go,’ he murmurs, as though repeating some kind of adage.

Jen props her elbow on the table, her head resting on her hand. ‘That’s very true.’

*

It’s the following morning when she starts making plans for her trip home. She finds a pen at the bottom of her pack and pulls out the medical text that she keeps in her bag just for reference. It’s a roughly patched together book with the list of illnesses the expedition members have crossed in the Pegasus galaxy.

On the back of the cover, she writes what she already knows. A solar flare was responsible, and a solar flare would be necessary to return unless she can find a puddle jumper with a time travel device, which seems highly unlikely. Rolling the pen between her hands, she looks down at what she’s written. SG-1 had the dates of the solar flares. That was something she’d need before any attempt to get home could be done.

She scrolls through the notebook, looking for anything that might deal with time travel and solar flares. She comes across a lot of theories, with names she doesn’t recognise and so much physics that it makes her head hurt. It doesn’t help her so much as it just makes her regret not paying attention during her physics class in school. It wouldn’t have helped her with any of this but at least she’d have a grasp on the basic idea.

Staring down at what she’s written, Jen rubs her forehead. A solar flare from Earth’s sun had sent SG-1 into the past. If that’s anything to go by, then a solar flare from Persephone’s sun must have sent her into the future, else she’d be on New Lantea or whatever it’s called in this future. And, if she’s working on that theory, then she’ll have to do something similar to go home.

Jen draws in a deep breath, looking down at the rough sketch she’s drawn. It might work.

‘It’ll have to work,’ she murmurs to herself. ‘Now all I have to do is get the dates of the flares.’

Which isn’t going to be the easy.

Putting everything away, Jen sighs quietly to herself, going through what she knows in her head. She’s not one for regret, but this is one thing she’s going to be kicking herself for if she ever gets out of it and back to her in time. Never, ever again is she going to be travelling through the stargate. Stretching her back, Jen sets her bag back into the corner of the room, next to the table with the little calendar that she’s been keeping track of the days with.

There’s a quiet knock on the door.

‘Yes?’ Jen calls.

The door slides open and Kaylee’s head pokes through. ‘Hey,’ she says with a smile Jen’s come to expect. ‘A few of us are planning a game of Tall Card. You interested?’

Jen runs a list of games she knows how to play but Tall Card isn’t there. ‘Can I watch?’

‘Scared you’ll be whipped?’

‘I prefer playing games when I know I won’t make a complete ass of myself.’

She follows Kaylee to the kitchen, where Zoë and Jayne are sitting at the table. Kaylee pulls a seat out and motions for Jen to sit down beside her. Jayne has a deck of cards that all have pieces of fruit on them.

‘You playin’?’

Jen shakes her head. ‘I’ll just watch.’

Jayne shrugs a shoulder and starts shuffling the cards. Jen watches as he deals them. Beside her, Kaylee goes through what she has.

‘Heard news over the Cortex that price of fuel’s going up,’ Zoë says as she glances over her cards.

‘How much they say?’ Kaylee asks.

‘Didn’t say. Few more credits, m’guessing.’

‘Few more credits meanin’ few more folk won’t be in the skies anymore,’ Jayne growls as he flips over a small round card with a peach.

‘Probably tryin’ to get people through the portals.’

‘Why?’ Jen pipes up.

Zoë looks at her over her cards. ‘More money for them. Ever since their mess on Miranda was revealed, people have been avoiding any new development the Alliance claims to have made.’

‘Sure are proud of those portals, though,’ Kaylee murmurs.

‘Surprise they don’t rip ya’ eyes out just for lookin’ at it,’ Jayne mutters as they place their bets. ‘Ain’t that pretty.’

‘It’s amazing though, how a wormhole is able to be created between the two and you can go from one planet to another in just a few seconds,’ Jen gushes. The three look up at her and Jen presses her hands into her thighs. ‘I’m not saying it’s fun or the best way to travel- actually, it’s kind of nauseating, but you have to admit that it’s… well, with… complicated physics…’

‘I’d take Serenity over those fancy Alliance gadgets any day. And not just ‘cause of the price tag. Don’t trust nothin’ that runs on crystals.’

‘We’ve heard your zheng lun on crystals. Don’t want my ears bleedin’ again,’ Jayne says, his eyes on his cards. Zoë chuckles.

‘I’m just sayin’, you drop one of ‘em and you’re sittin’ ducks. Jen, you agree with me, don’tcha?’

Jen freezes and then nods. ‘Yup. Right. Every word.’

‘You have no idea what she’s going on about, do you?’ Zoë asks with a wry smile.

‘Not at all,’ Jen admits as she shakes her head.

‘But she still agrees!’ Kaylee chirps. Jen’s a little surprised when Kaylee rests her head on her shoulder but she calms down when Kaylee whispers, ‘which card should I get rid of?’

‘Huh?’

‘Which card should I get rid of?’ she repeats.

Jen stares at the faces on the cards, trying to remember what her father had taught her about poker. She points at one of them.

‘Let’s hope you’re right,’ Kaylee murmurs, lifting her head off her shoulder and setting the card down on the table. Jayne hands her another card back. Her eyes flicker over to Kaylee, but, much to her surprise, she has a good poker face.

‘They’ll get over it,’ Jayne says.

‘Who will?’ Kaylee asks.

‘The portal. Just a chao liu at the moment. Buncha bai chi. Three thousand credits, gone.’

‘Just making the sky a little more empty each and every day,’ Zoë says, though Jen thinks she’s saying it more to herself.

‘They can’t expect people will actually use them though, can they? Three thousand credits… that’s a lot,’ Jen interjects.

‘You used it,’ Jayne points out.

Jen doesn’t reply.

‘Enough people must be,’ Kaylee huffs as she hands back two cards. ‘Keep people on the ground and you’ve got ‘em under your thumb.’

‘That’s not going to happen,’ Zoë says, her eyes on her cards.

Jen leans forward, watching as they continue to play. It seems to be some kind of mixture of poker and hearts, with more cards and fruit. She has no idea how they’re keeping track of the betting, though none of them seem to care all that much. If any real competition is going on, it’s going on between Jayne and Zoë.

Kaylee settles back in her chair after receiving two new cards. Her hair, hanging loose and curling against her shoulders, brushes against Jen’s cheek as she leans forward to take a closer look at her cards. Jen falters though Kaylee seems to not notice. Her tongue runs over her lips as she slides her eyes over to her. Kaylee’s pursing her lips together, concentrating on her cards. Her hair keeps falling into her eyes, and Jen’s fingers itch to push them away, to tuck them behind her ears, and run through her thick, warm locks. She’d always wanted darker hair, but instead she’s stuck with straight, dishwater blonde. Jen curls her fingers into her pants- her own, part of her uniform- and swallows. Her mouth is dry. It’d be so easy to just reach out and touch.

She jumps when Kaylee speaks.

‘What do you think?’

‘Huh?’ her voice is croaky. Kaylee nods to her cards. Jen looks at them, trying to decipher them. She shrugs.

Kaylee tilts her head and a lock of her hair rubs against Jen’s chin. It tickles. She barely notices when Kaylee lays her cards on the table.

‘Four of a kind.’

Jen’s attention snaps to the game. Jayne curses in Chinese. Zoë has a smirk on her face when she sets hers down.

‘Straight flush.’

‘You two cheated,’ Jayne states.

‘How?’ Zoë asks with a roll of her eyes she collects the cards.

‘I dunno. Some womanly way. You have wiles.’

‘With a complicated set of winks and nudges?’ Zoë offers.

‘Yeah.’

Kaylee laughs and Jen pulls back into her own seat. She hasn’t been in a relationship since she joined the Stargate Program. Not all of her own choice, but most of her time on Earth was taken up with work and what time she did have to socialise outside of her workmates was filled with lies and half-truths to keep what she really did a secret. And now in the Pegasus galaxy…

Well, that’s another thing entirely.

Besides, she’s only been on this ship for four days and she’ll be gone as soon as she can. Fantasies are best left in her bedroom, where she can work out heartache with her fingers and imagination.

Still, that doesn’t ease her any when Kaylee grabs her hand and says she’ll help prepare lunch with her.

Jen leans against the counter as Kaylee sets about preparing lunch. Kaylee opens the cupboards and pulls some tins out, the labels written in Chinese. They remind Jen of the canned lychees her mother would buy, with the bright obnoxious labels with large, unreadable Chinese symbols.

‘They can put nearly anything in a tin,’ Kaylee says as she pulls a large baking dish out and starts attacking the tin she holds with a can opener, ‘but canned strawberries still don’t taste as good as the real thing.’

‘That’s because they’re poison,’ Jayne states from where he sits at the table. He and Zoë are playing another card game.

‘River tell you that?’ Zoë is smiling to herself.

‘Girl’s right about some things, why shouldn’t she be ‘bout that? Seen her go wild on the food before. Can’t be all you jing shen bing.’

Kaylee’s laughing to herself beside Jen as she pours the canned peaches into the baking dish.

‘River… she is lucid enough to be flying the ship, right?’ Jen asks, concerned.

Still chuckling, Kaylee nods. ‘There’s only a few people I’d trust to fly Serenity and she’s one of them.’

That doesn’t comfort Jen anymore. First River gives her the chills with her bug-eyed stare and the uneasy feeling of her probing into Jen’s mind, and now it seems she’s not all there.

Kaylee hums as she grabs various ingredients. She sets them out and Jen watches in interest as she starts to prepare their lunch. Jen’s never been one of a cook. Even in her cooking classes at school she could never get the final product to resemble anything like it was meant to. It didn’t turn into a complete horrible mess, but she was always very disappointed with it. Her mother had always said she was hard on herself.

She looks over to Kaylee, who is putting the baking dish in the oven. Moving back up, she rests against the counter, her fingers curling around the edge.

‘So,’ she starts, ‘wanna play a game of Tall Card while we wait?’

Jen looks over to the table. Jayne and Zoë have left, the cards still sitting on the table. ‘I’m actually not all that good at it.’

‘That’s xing, I’ll teach you a few tricks,’ Kaylee says pushes away from the counter and takes Jen’s hand as she leads her back to the table.

*

It’s a bit of a whirl how quickly the following two days pass. Jen settles into a rhythm with the crew. She keeps her head down for the most part, avoiding as many questions about where she’s from, where she works and what she intends to do once she gets home- things Mal in particular seems most interested in. These people on the ship don’t seem all that keen on the Alliance, but even so if they were to know the history of the stargates and what they’re fully capable of… Jen doesn’t want to be the cause of a revolution, nor does she want to be seen as a nutcase. All she wants to do is get home in one piece, with the future and past intact. There’s bound to be some kind of future grandfather paradox and Jen isn’t all to keen on killing any descendents she may have out here, or herself.

Actually, she wants to avoid the whole killing thing, period.

Kaylee keeps close by her, when she’s not in the engine room or in Inara’s shuttle. Although she taught Jen how to play Tall Card she still fumbles through the game. She writes down the rules, though, and makes a note to teach the game to her friends when she arrives back on Atlantis. It’s just a card game; it won’t affect the future of mankind too much. Maybe it could act like some kind of ontological paradox.

It surprises her, though, when certain things start to become familiar. Jen’s never been a fan of Big Brother but having been stuck in a ship in close proximity to the rest of the crew for a near week she’s started to realise just why all the housemates get emotional when one leaves. Inara always smells like sandalwood and rosewood, which leaves a lingering fragrance in the room. Jayne lifts weights in the morning before disappearing after lunch into his bunk. River lies, curled into a fetal position on the catwalk while Simon lingers like a shadow. Zoë’s fingers brush along the leather necklace she wears around her throat over meals. Mal sits in the cockpit, looking out into the black when it’s quiet. After lunch, Kaylee lies in her hammock in the engine room and reads trashy romance novels, the kind that would make Mills and Boon proud.

Maybe it’s because she’s on the edge, as an outsider, that she’s able to see things that the others don’t or that they take for granted. The almost restrained touches between Mal and Inara; the way their fingers graze as they hand over cups of coffee, the way their arms brush as they pass each other. The way Jayne makes an effort to make Zoë laugh during breakfast. How River slips away from Simon’s grasp but always looks over her shoulder to make sure he’s watching her. Or how Kaylee rubs her hands along Serenity’s walls almost absentmindedly as she swings on her hammock, like she’s petting a cat.

She likes sitting in the engine room with Kaylee. The humming reminds her of Atlantis, and Kaylee’s presence is comforting.

‘Are you and Simon…’ she starts but cuts herself off. She’s reading one of Kaylee’s novels. It’s ridiculously sappy but she still can’t put it down. Kaylee’s lying back in her hammock, rocking back and forth slightly, reading a book of her own. The cover is worn, suggesting it’s one of her favourites.

‘Shuh muh?’

‘You and Simon,’ Jen says, setting down the book. There’s no need for her to ask, but curiosity has always been one of her faults. ‘You two seem… close.’

Kaylee laughs and looks over to where Jen’s sitting at the work desk. ‘We were. Long while back. Sorta thing that works through the system, y’know?’

Jen nods. Kaylee smiles fondly as she closes her book. She lifts her eyes to Jen, and she blushes, ducking her eyes to avoid Kaylee’s look.

*

No matter how hard she tries, she can’t stop the feeling that River is reading her mind. There’s nothing in the notebook about Ancients or telepathy, but the Alliance blatantly lied about the stargates, so there’s nothing to say they’d ignore mind reading.

Beylix is a humid planet (moon, Jen corrects in her mind) that orbits a planet that Jen is yet to find the name of. It sits on the horizon, the only object in the otherwise pale blue sky. Mal had said Beylix is the garbage dump of the system, but to Jen it reminds her more of her grandma’s farm in Kansas, though she only visited twice. Lots of rolling, grassy plains that stretch as far as Jen can see. Only with sunflowers. Lots and lots of sunflowers. The fact there’s a spaceship sitting in the middle of it all seems to ruin the effect, too.

‘It’s like the Genii,’ comes River’s voice behind Jen. She turns to see River staring up at the sky. Jen squints and shields her eyes with a hand.

‘Pardon?’

‘Genii. It reminds you more of the Genii than your grandmother.’

Jen is quiet. Looking past River, she sees Kaylee and Inara standing by the ramp, their heads bowed as they talk quietly. Mal, Zoë and Jayne have gone to deliver the cargo on the mule. Jen never bothered to ask what it is.

Scratching her neck, Jen looks back over to where the sunflowers grow, larger than anything she’s seen back on Earth. They’re at least over ten feet.

‘Why don’t you tell anyone?’ River asks. She’s walked up beside Jen without her noticing. It’s more than a little disconcerting.

‘Tell anyone what?’

‘About your trip. Rip. More like a rip.’

Jen looks at her, then over to the sunflowers. ‘Through time.’

River nods.

Shrugging a shoulder, Jen takes a deep breath through her nose and bends to pick up a twig, just something to occupy her hands with. ‘I doubt anyone would believe me.’

‘I do.’ There’s an uneasy silence before River continues. She’s still staring up at the sky, her hands over her head, finger splayed likes she’s trying to touch it. ‘They came long ago. Long before we did. Spread their seed and watched it grow before abandoning it. All their rebellious children, drinking in what isn’t theirs.’ She drops her arms and turns to Jen, her head cocked slightly. ‘But you already know all that.’

Jen stops walking and nods. ‘The Ancients.’

‘Yes.’

‘How do you…?’

She doesn’t need to finish. River smiles although it doesn’t reach her eyes. ‘I know things I’m not meant to. I know things… I… I see… Into peoples minds. Their hearts. Their souls. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes… sometimes I see what they want me to see. Like pictures hanging on a wall. I look, and I reach out, but I don’t touch. Can’t touch, it frightens…’

River looks over to where Serenity sits and Jen follows her eyes. Simon’s wandered out and is looking over to where River stands with Jen. He doesn’t make an attempt to cross over to them.

‘He’s like me but not quite,’ River continues. ‘It’s more advanced in me. I try to get him to reach out for it but he can’t. It’d be easier if he did. Many hands make light work.’

‘The Ancient gene,’ Jen murmurs quietly.

‘As many as there are for you, but time… it moves in leaps and bounds, but only a few…’

‘And the Alliance?’

‘They know. They always know. They try to read into our minds but they can’t, so they watch. Big brother is watching. Ge-ge is watching.’

Somehow Jen guesses she’s not talking about Simon.

‘So they take us and document us. It wasn’t by luck they chose this galaxy.’

‘I guessed it wasn’t,’ Jen says. She looks out to the sunflowers that sway gently in a breeze that is yet to reach them. She wants to ask about the Wraith, the Athosians. The Genii, the Replicators. She wants to ask about Atlantis. Instead, she tosses the stick towards the sunflowers and shoves her hands into her pockets.

‘Like waves… boundless, unceasingly crashing…’ River twirls on the toe of her boot, digging a small groove into the dirt. ‘He tries to hear me but he can’t hear over the roar of those before.’

Jen looks at her over her shoulder, watching as she crouches down and scoops up a handful of soil.

‘They all used to think I was crazy. Simon, Mal, all of them. But I tell the truth. Always tell the truth, unable to tell a lie or your nose will grow…’ She drifts off for a moment. ‘If you pull far enough, you find the possibilities that are only a hair’s width away.’

River glances up at Jen through her hair and, with her handful of dirt, crosses over to Simon. With a crooked smile, Jen watches on as River swings her hand over Simon’s shoulder and presses the dirt against the back of his crisp, white shirt. Simon, not knowing, hugs his sister with a smile before River drags her hand up his back and through his hair. Clumps of dirt fall from her hand and down his neck and shoulders. Pulling back and surveying her work, River smiles and heads back onto the ship, leaving Kaylee and Inara laughing at Simon’s misfortune.

Try as she might, Jen can’t join in with their laughter.

Running a hand through her hair, she walks away from them to where she’d thrown the stick. It didn’t go very far. Jen was never the athletic type, which is something she’s been working on after that incident on New Athos with Teyla. Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes and lifts her face to the sky, feeling the heat.

‘It’s real nice out here.’

Opening her eyes, she looks over to find Kaylee walking up beside her.

‘Aren’t you hot?’ Jen asks, taking note of her coveralls. The top hangs loose around her waist.

‘A little,’ Kaylee admits. After a pause, she says, ‘they’re beautiful, ain’t they? Reminds me of home. We used to have these big fei fei ones on the farm.’

Smiling wistfully, Kaylee grabs Jen’s hand and tugs her towards the sunflowers before breaking into a run. Jen struggles to keep up, her free arm flailing behind her as she pounds the ground, dirt flying up around her ankles. Kaylee pushes the sunflowers away as they run through them. The stalks whip against her cheeks and hands, small cuts appearing on her flesh.

‘Kaylee!’ she gasps, her mouth dry. She reaches out with her free hand, grabbing Kaylee’s arm. She tugs at it, which sends Kaylee stumbling and falling to the ground. She keeps hold of Jen’s hand, dragging her down with her. Jen yelps, her hand reaching out instinctively to break her fall. She lands halfway on Kaylee, winding herself somewhat. Kaylee still has her hand wrapped around Jen’s, though neither of them is moving very much.

She manages to slowly catch her breath, her chest aching some as she tries to push herself up, off of Kaylee. Her arm is caught under Jen. With a groan, Jen rolls onto her back, her eyes staring up at the sky. Beside her, Kaylee gasps, wheezing slightly. Jen’s hands, wrists and knees hurt, and she can’t figure out whether her muscles are hurting from the sprint or the fall.

She tentatively moves her wrist and decides it’s not broken. Sprained, maybe, but not too badly. With a minor groan, she sits up slowly, feeling a burn go through her that she knows she’ll be feeling sorry for tomorrow. Kaylee’s looking up at her with a half-hearted smile on her lips, her arms spread out on either side of her.

‘That was…’ Jen starts.

‘Tong ku,’ Kaylee replies with a roll of her eyes. She pushes herself up onto her elbows, then, with a loud groan, fully upright. Jen reaches out, settling a hand on her shoulder.

‘You okay?’

‘Shiny.’

Somehow they get to their feet, Jen’s joints aching and telling her to just fall back down. Kaylee’s fingers close around her bare elbows, steadying herself.

‘Don’t think the cap’n’ll be too impressed if we come back all bruised.’

Jen laughs, which only makes her chest hurt more. ‘As long as we’re in one piece.’

Getting her balance, Kaylee gradually lets go of Jen and brushes her hands on her pants. ‘Don’t think anything’s broken.’

Jen looks around to where they stand in the middle of the sunflowers, the massive heads towering above them. They sway back and forth, heavy with their own weight. In the distance she can see the planet the moon orbits.

‘What’s over there?’

Kaylee’s voice brings her back down. She’s pointing through the flowers and Jen follows her gaze. There’s a break in the sunflowers where a large rock formation sits.

‘Wanna check it out?’ Jen asks, tilting her head towards Kaylee, raising an eyebrow. Kaylee nods. It hurts slightly to walk, but not enough that she wants to complain or stop.

Kaylee grabs at a sunflower as they walk, pulling at it until it breaks at the stem. Twirling her prize between her fingers, Kaylee grins and waves the flower about. It hits Jen on the side of her face, the petals tickling her nose.

‘I’d chase you if I had the energy.’

Kaylee sticks her tongue out.

With a roll of her eyes, Jen grabs the sunflower from Kaylee’s hands. Holding it up to her nose, she breathes in its fragrance.

‘They grow a lot where you’re from?’ Kaylee asks.

‘In some parts,’ Jen replies, handing the flower back to Kaylee. The sunflowers seem to stop suddenly when they reach the rock. It’s larger than Jen expected. It looms over her. It’s not as tall as the flowers but its shadow stretches out long across the ground. The air seems a lot cooler under it.

Stepping towards it, Jen runs her hand over it. It’s incredibly smooth, like it’s been sanded down. For the most part it’s just a round, almost circular shape, though there’s a part that sticks out like a ledge. Kaylee wanders under it and stands on her toes. Her fingertips just reach it.

‘It’s like a little roof to keep your head dry.’

The corner of Jen’s mouth quirks up into a smile as she watches Kaylee. The hem of her shirt has crept up, revealing a small patch of her belly and hip. Jen clears her throat and averts her eyes. Kaylee sits down on the ground, stretching her legs out in front of her.

‘Ground’s not too hard, come sit down.’ Kaylee waves at her with the sunflower until Jen settles down beside her. The soil is warm despite the shade, as is the rock when Jen leans back on it.

‘It’s nice how Mal told ya’ to stay here while he went to deliver the goods,’ Kaylee says a little too casually.

‘He told me you asked for him to see how many guards were at the gate,’ Jen replies with a smirk.

‘For good reason! Those qian lu zi would fire at their own mother if’n they thought it were the right thing to do.’

Taking Kaylee’s hand, Jen gives it a light squeeze. ‘Thank you.’

Kaylee smiles back at her, squeezing back. ‘Betcha lookin’ forward to going home.’

Jen sighs loudly, casting her eyes to the sky. She is, there’s no doubt about that. Home. Atlantis. Back into the familiarity of her medical bay with everything from splinters to full-blown epidemics that need her assistance instead of this future that still makes her nervous. Though there is still the problem of getting through the stargate at the right time, and she has no idea how to do that. And even then she has no idea how much time will have passed. An hour? A day? A year? More? Or what if she went too far back?

‘I guess.’

Kaylee rolls the sunflower between her hands. A petal falls off and floats to the ground. ‘You got anyone special waitin’ for you back home?’

‘Special?’

‘Y’know, a sweetie?’

A sweetie. Jen thinks of Sam who knows what it’s like to be filling the too-large shoes of someone else. The constant feeling that she’s replacing someone more loved, someone everyone would prefer to be back. Jen never fully pursued anything more than a friendship with Sam but even so, there were times when she had hoped that maybe Sam wanted to explore their relationship further.

Her thoughts turn to Teyla. She hadn’t known at first, of her and Kate’s quiet, fumbling relationship that was never fully explored. But Kate’s death and Teyla’s pregnancy had put a halt to anything else. Although most of what could have been was played out in Jen’s mind, Teyla is strong, independent and fierce while Jen’s own insecurities and inhibitions would have made any sort of relationship a difficult one.

And then there’s Ronon. She’s not sure how the rumour started. Jen had been the first to approach Ronon about it, with a laugh and trying to play it casual. She’d never really hoped towards it, but her loneliness had made her say it. If people were talking then there must have been some sort of chemistry between them that had started the rumour in the first place. Ronon had just eyed her uncertainly when Jen had mentioned it to him and nothing else was said about it.

‘No,’ she finally says. ‘There’s no one.’

Kaylee adjusts her position, placing the sunflower by her feet. ‘Because I was thinkin’- ’

‘Kaylee, I need to tell you something.’ The words burst from her lips before she even realises they’re out there. Kaylee looks up at her, wide-eyed, a flash of her tongue running over her lips.

‘Yes?’ she prompts when Jen doesn’t say anything.

‘I…’ Jen hesitates, wondering if there’s anyway she can explain it without sounding crazy. Kaylee nods at her, leaning towards her. Swallowing, Jen turns away and rubs her hands together. ‘It’s about the stargate. The… portal, whatever. How I got to Persephone.’

‘Oh.’ She sounds disappointed.

Jen draws in a deep breath and tucks her feet up underneath her. ‘I… I don’t know how to explain this, but I’ll try. I… I’m from…’ Oh, God, this is going to sound insane. ‘I’m from the twenty-first century. From Earth.’

Jennifer/Kaylee

2008-01-26T03:51:58Z

Title: Yellow Wood
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Jennifer Keller/Kaylee Frye
Rating: R
Warnings: Very mild sex scene
Summary: She was offered the opportunity of a lifetime. Jen never took that opporunity to mean five hundred years in the future with a rag-tag bunch of people on a ship that looks like it could fall to pieces at any given moment and a girl with a blazing smile and a knack for sweeping Jen off her feet.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis or Firefly.
Notes: Firstly, beta'd by the most delicious lizamanynames. Thank you so much bb, you're totally awesome.

Secondly, as much as I love theoretical physics, time travel is not something I'm a genius on. What is here is based off the SG-1 episode, 1969. Another thing, I don't speak Chinese. Some of it is based off the Firefly episodes, some of it is what a friend who speaks Mandarin told me, and the rest is based off this website, so if you see any blazing errors on either of those things, please, feel free to tell me.

Lastly, this took me since mid-November to write. I've never written a crossover before, and I had a lot of trouble with characterization, so a lot of things were written and re-written. Again, lizamanynames, I know I've said it before, but thank you so much for making me feel better about Mal. I feel I destroyed him, but hey, maybe not.

There are several posts to this, each have been linked to the other at the top and bottom of the page.

So please, enjoy. I loved writing it, and I'm immensely proud of myself. In the, 'I dress myself' manner.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Jen doesn’t usually travel through the Stargate. She came to Atlantis on the Daedalus, and before that had only travelled through the stargate just above the minimum level to allow her to go to Atlantis.

It makes her nauseous. She understands it’s normal initially but it’s happened every time she’s gone through it. Sam tells her to calm down- she’s only sick because she’s working herself up into a frenzy- but it doesn’t ease Jen’s nerves any. Still, she has to go through it occasionally, when team members are badly injured and require immediate medical attention and it would be risky to move them.

Which is how she wound up here.

Stranded somewhere on what she thinks is the mainland, but it’s dry and dusty and there’s more people here than there are in Atlantis. Jen stares at her surroundings, at the people dressed in a variety of styles, some with an oriental design, others with a more western twist, and even more with a combination of the two. It’s a bit hard to tell. Everything around her is swimming, and her stomach is threatening to throw her lunch back up. Staggering away from the gate, she hugs herself with one arm, the other keeping hold of the strap of her pack across her shoulder.

‘John?’ she calls out, squinting. Persephone, according to what she had been told, was scarcely populated. An animal had attacked Lorne. The few people on Persephone were a peaceful tribe with little technology. ‘Teyla?’

‘Move it, lady!’ someone growls, grabbing Jen by the shoulder and pushing her away from the gate. She stumbles, barely regaining her balance. Looking over her shoulder, she sees two men, both in blue-grey suits, eyeing her warily. Guns are strapped over their shoulders, though Jen didn’t recognise the design, not that she’d ever been very good at identifying weapons short of ‘knife’ and ‘gun’.

Clutching the straps of her bag, she does a small circle and taps the radio on her ear.

‘John, come in,’ she says into it. Silence. ‘John, this Dr Keller, come in, please.’ Again, silence. Then, desperately, ‘John, this isn’t funny, come in.’

The silence in her ear is deafening.

Maybe they can’t hear me over the noise, she thinks as she weaves her way through the crowd. Maybe Rodney dialled the wrong address. Maybe those men grabbed them.

Jen looks over her shoulder to where the guards are standing by the stargate. They’re eyeing the people around them, their hands gripping their guns. Asking them didn’t seem the best of decisions. Her shoulder still aches from where the one on the right had grabbed her, and her pack isn’t helping any.

Shading her eyes with her hand, Jen squints at the stargate. There is no sign of a DHD nearby. Starting to chew on her lower lip, she turns in the opposite direction, hoping the device is a little further off than normal. Again there is nothing but a flood of people, pushing and shoving their way through the crowd without a care for anybody’s personal well being.

The heat is pounding down on her like an oven, and underneath the regulation jacket her skin itches. The shade is scarce, but she stands by a stony grey building, an eyesore that sticks out like a sore thumb in the brown-and-red marketplace, with few permanent structures that are all under two stories high.

She’s about to slide her pack from her shoulders in search for a bottle of water that she’s certain she brought when two men- different from the earlier ones, but in the same drab uniform- approach her.

‘What’s your business?’ one, with a peach coloured birthmark on his right cheekbone asks.

‘Sorry?’

‘Why are you here?’ the other asks. That one has curly red hair that sticks out from under his cap.

‘I just came through the stargate. It’s so hot, I just need- ’

‘You got ID?’ Red Hair asks.

‘No, I think I’m lost,’ Jen starts to explain.

‘So what’s your business?’ Birthmark barks.

‘I’m here with a team, maybe you saw them? We’re all came through the stargate. Colonel John Sheppard, him in particular, he’ll explain everything.’

The two men eye each other before turning back to her.

‘Who paid for your trip?’ Birthmark asks.

‘Paid? Nobody paid.’

‘How’d you get through then? It’s three thousand credits to go through the portal. Both government officials, and,’ Red Hair says with a smirk suggesting it’s a joke, ‘citizens.’

‘If they can afford it,’ Birthmark adds.

Jen shakes her head. Maybe it was the heat. ‘I’m sorry; I’m not following you. Who are you, where am I?’

Birthmark crosses his arms over his chest. Jen can see the annoyed look on his face. ‘Where did you leave from?’

‘I…’ Jen thinks quickly, trying to come up with a place, a name, anywhere except New Lantea, ‘Ballkan.’

‘Ballkan?’ Red Hair repeats incredulously. Lower, barely above a murmur, he says, ‘I knew Swider couldn’t control those people.’

Jen swallows and tries her best to put a smile on her face. ‘Yes, well, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d really like to return there now, so if I could just- ’

Birthmark grabs her by the shoulder. His grip is tight, tighter than the man who had grabbed her earlier, and Jen finds her knees starting to buckle under the weight he’s putting on her.

‘You want to go back through the portal?’

Her smile is thin. ‘Please.’

Red Hair laughs and grips her other shoulder. ‘You slipped through once, and nearly got away with it. You wanna try doing it a second time?’

Any tighter and Jen’s worried one of her sockets are going to pop. Her knees slip out from under her and she lands in the dust heavily. Her pack slams against her back, and already she can feel a bruise forming there, though the burn is nothing compared to the pain on her shoulders.

‘You’re in a lot of tzao gao. If any of the heads of the Alliance found out, your pretty little head would look more like strawberry pie, dong ma?’

Jen stares blankly up at Birthmark.

‘You hear me?’

‘Yes!’

Red Hair pulls her up and Jen sways wildly. Birthmark grabs her chin and jerks her head to the left, his free hand pointing.

‘You see those ships?’ he barks. Jen nods, seeing the ships for the first time. They’re all rather diminutive compared to the Daedalus, but nothing- nothing- in the Pegasus Galaxy looks like them. The Wraith have high-tech designs, and the Replicators have sleek shapes. There’s something distinctly, almost horrifyingly human about these ones. There’s no way a human group outside of the Atlantis expedition team members could have come up with these, not without the Wraith finding out and culling them before they could say ‘boo’.

‘I- I’m seeing the ships,’ Jen stutters out. Her knees are shaking again.

‘We’re going to let you get on one of those ships without a word, so long as you don’t let a peep of your little adventure get out. Right?’

Jen nods, unable to take her eyes off the ships. There had to be at least a dozen that should see, and even more around a bend in the road.

‘Yeah, yes. Right. Loud and clear.’

‘Now go,’ Birthmark growls as he and Red Hair release her. When Jen doesn’t move (she can’t, this is insane, this is incomprehensible), Birthmark latches onto her again. ‘Ma shong!’

He pushes her, pack and all. Jen flails as she is forced away, and she lurches. She reaches out for the first thing she can grab- a man’s shirt. The man grabs her wrist, almost crushing it, and he throws her. She lands on her stomach, slides across the dirt, her hands grazing badly across the ground. Her pack is heavy and it keeps her down. John never really got to the getting up part when it came to carrying one.

‘Jayne!’ A high-pitched voice cuts through the air. ‘You hurt her!’

‘She attacked me,’ comes a deeper, gruffer voice.

Hands are on her in an instant. Careful ones, though. Gentle and soothing, pulling her pack off, a contrast to the guards.

‘I need that,’ Jen yelps, pushing to her hands and knees despite her pain. She lunges on the pack, hugging to her chest.

‘Just helping you up.’

A young woman sits opposite her- maybe twenty, twenty-one. There’s a streak of grease on her cheek and a concerned look in her eye.

Jen dips her eyes, already sliding her pack back on her shoulders. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbles in response. The girl grabs her arm- again, gentle- and helps Jen to her feet.

‘You okay?’

I’ve been better, Jen thinks. Instead, she wipes at her face with her arm- her hand is bleeding slightly- and shrugs. ‘I think so.’

‘Sorry ‘bout Jayne,’ the girl says with an apologetic smile.

‘Nothin’ to be sorry about. Damn girl attacked me.’

The man who threw Jen crosses over. He’s much taller, much larger than the guards in their suits and caps.

‘I didn’t,’ Jen murmurs, wiping her hands on her jacket. There’s a slight hole in the side, large enough for her to stick her finger through. The rest is covered in dust. ‘I tripped.’

‘Fay hwa.’

‘It’s true,’ the girl huffs, hands on her hips. ‘I saw. Those damn feds were messin’ with her. Prancin’ ‘round with that new device of theirs. Can’t even look at it without being questioned ‘til you’re blue in the face.’

Jen keeps her head down, picking at the tiny rocks that scatter her hands; some have pushed their way into the light cuts.

The man saunters off, growling to himself, something about the captain being late and people sticking their nose where it isn’t wanted. The girl turns to Jen, a wide smile on her face.

‘So ya’ looking for a ride? Serenity here’ll take straight to Beylix. You won’t find a ship that’ll give you an easier flight.’

‘I was actually meant to meet some people… Though I think I’m in the wrong place.’

‘Oh,’ the girl sucks on her lower lip, her eyes watching Jen. It’s not uncomfortable, but Jen needs to find her way back to New Lantea and fast. ‘Where you meant to be?’

‘Persephone,’ Jen replies as she looks over her shoulder.

‘Well, this is it!’

Jen’s head snaps back to the girl, fast enough that her neck cracks. ‘What?’

‘Persephone. This is it. Is something wrong?’

Jen walks past her, scratching her head. ‘It can’t be, it’s too… advanced, too busy. There are too many people here. But mostly it’s too advanced.’

The girl follows her and lets out a small laugh. ‘If you think this is advanced, you should check out the city. Now there’s some shiny stuff.’

She can feel the panic starting to bubble up inside of her. Tapping her radio, she gasps out John’s name. No reply. Another channel, this time Rodney, then Teyla, Lorne, even Radek. Nothing.

The girl gently taps Jen’s arm. ‘Everything okay, sweetie?’

Jen whips around. ‘No! I’m stuck here on a planet that is meant to be Persephone but clearly isn’t, with people pushing me around and I can’t see John anywhere.’

The girl stares at her. She’s maybe half an inch shorter than Jen, with wide eyes and wavy hair that Jen wants to wrap around her finger.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says quickly, shaking her head. ‘This isn’t the planet I was expecting.’

The girl doesn’t say anything for a moment, before turning her head to the right and motioning out with her hand. ‘If ya’ need a ride anywhere and you got the money, we can take you.’

Jen turns her head to the left and finds herself staring up into the cargo bay of a ship.

‘That’s Serenity,’ the girl says proudly. ‘She’s a real beauty, ain’t she?’

‘I can’t pay,’ Jen blurts out. She turns back to the girl, shaking her head. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.’

‘Oh.’ The girl’s face falls and Jen turns away, as though she’s ashamed. ‘That’s too bad.’

Jen shrugs a shoulder and tugs at her pack.

‘You wanna sit for a bit?’ the girl asks, jerking her head to the ramp. ‘Maybe you’ll find your friends. The say if you’re lost, s’better to stay in one spot.’

‘That’s true.’

The girl leads Jen to the ramp and flops herself down upon. Jen sits down more carefully, sliding her pack off and setting it beside her.

‘So where ya’ from?’

‘Wisconsin,’ Jen replies automatically.

‘Haven’t heard of that one. That a Rim planet?’

Jen doesn’t reply. She stares down at her boots that are covered in dust. The cuff of her pants has become torn, something she hadn’t noticed earlier.

‘Well, my name’s Kaylee.’

‘Jennifer,’ she replies, again automatically. Lifting her head she notices two people approaching the ship. Kaylee- the girl- stands and waves.

‘Hey, captain, Zoë.’

Jen follows her lead, pushing herself to her feet, her bag hanging from one sore hand. She needs to take care of it soon to avoid an infection.

‘We got ourselves a passenger?’ the man asks.

‘Oh, Jennifer, this is Mal and Zoë. Mal, Zoë, this is Jennifer. She’s from Wisconsin.’

‘I can’t pay,’ Jen states plainly, swinging her pack back on. ‘Kaylee was just keeping me company.’

‘Feds were giving her a tough time ‘bout the portal.’

Zoë and Mal glance at one another, before Zoë asks, ‘you came through it?’

Jen turns away from them, staring out at the people mulling around the stargate. She notices for the first time they keep a wide circle around it, and she wonders if that’s out of fear from the guards or the gate itself.

‘I can’t afford to pay for a ride, not that I know where I’d be going,’ she turns back to Mal, the captain, then to Kaylee. ‘I’m sorry for wasting your time.’

She makes it down the ramp and she’s about to be swallowed by the crowd, when Kaylee’s hand wraps around her wrist and jerks her around.

‘Wei!’

Jen stops and glances at her carefully.

‘Your friends ain’t coming, are they?’

‘What makes you say that?’

Kaylee shrugs. ‘’Cause they’d’ve found you by now if they came through the portal, too, and I didn’t see anyone come out of it but you. Look, I can probably convince the cap’n to let you on board, and you pay him back later some how.’

Jen eyes Mal, Zoë presumably gone inside.

‘That man, the one that knocked me down…’

‘Jayne? He’ll do that to anyone if you push him.’

‘I didn’t push him.’

‘If you thought someone was tryin’ to get to your coin, you’d do that same.’

Kaylee has a point. Still, ‘You said that if you want to be found, you should wait in one spot.’

‘Maybe I just want you to come aboard.’

Jen finally turns back to Kaylee. Tapping the radio on her ear one more time and finding nothing but silence, she shakes her head. Maybe they’d get to a planet with an unguarded stargate and she could return home then.

‘Fine.’

Kaylee grins and runs back to Mal, Jen keeping her distance and walking at a much slower pace. By the time she turns up at the ramp, Kaylee’s done talking and Mal’s turned around. He glances over at her, then at the pack over her shoulders, then back to her.

‘Where d’you need to go? We’re off to Beylix, if it’s anywhere on the way, we’ll see if we can drop you off.’

‘I need a planet with a stargate.’ Mal looks at her blankly. ‘Portal,’ Jen corrects.

Mal jerks his chin towards the gate Jen had gone through. ‘There’s one there.’

‘One that’s unguarded.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘Told you, I don’t have the money. I don’t have any money.’

Mal crosses his arms over his chest. He’s not as unfriendly as the guards, but he’s definitely keeping Jen on her toes. ‘We’re not a charity.’

‘I’m not expecting you to be.’

Kaylee tugs at his sleeve, hissing ‘cap’n!’

After a pause, Mal scratches his chin. ‘Last I heard, Beylix has one. Not making any promises here, but whether it’s guarded or not, you’ll be getting off there. I’m expecting some kind of payment along the way, too.’

‘I don’t do sexual favours.’

‘Not asking you to. Got a whore onboard, anyway.’

‘Captain!’ Kaylee snaps. Mal turns to her, his eyes slightly wider than they were previously. Jen finds herself taking a step back, too. Kaylee smiles at her. ‘We got a registered Companion onboard. Inara’s a real beauty.’

‘Oh,’ Jen nods, as if it makes sense.

Kaylee faces Mal again, hands on her hips. ‘Is she on or not?’

Mal glances over at Jen, then to Kaylee, before pointing at her. ‘She’s your responsibility,’ he states before heading up the ramp and to the bay.

Kaylee turns to Jen, brightly grinning as she motions for Jen to follow her. ‘See, I told you I’d get you on board.’

Jen nods, following Kaylee inside. The cargo bay is wide, with several crates stacked on one side. Kaylee’s talking, her hands gesturing wildly, and Jen forces herself to listen.

‘You’ve met Mal and Zoë and Jayne already, and I told you ‘bout Inara,’ she says without a breath, pushing a button. Jen watches anxiously as the ramp starts drawing in and the doors close on the airlock. ‘There’s also Simon, our medic, and River, our pilot. She’s Simon’s sister.’

‘Uh-huh.’

Kaylee continues, her hand closing around Jen’s elbow. ‘As long as you stay outta Jayne’s way, he won’t push you ‘round, though he likes to get under your skin. Mal’s our cap’n and Zoë’s his first mate. Mal’s not too fond of strangers, but s’long as you don’t cause a ruckus…’ Kaylee drifts off, her eyes searching Jen’s. ‘You’re not gonna cause a ruckus, right?’

‘No,’ Jen replies, the temptation to add ‘ma’am’ on there almost overwhelming. Kaylee grins and tugs Jen towards the end of the cargo bay. A hum fills the air and Jen nearly topples over as the ship starts to move. Although it’s smooth and there’s hardly any movement, Jen grabs the doorframe, her knuckles turning white.

‘Not used to flying?’ Kaylee asks with a laugh.

‘Not used to these kinds of ships,’ Jen answers with a strained smile. Settling, she releases the doorframe and steps through.

‘What kind you used to?’

‘Daedalus,’ she replies without thinking.

Kaylee lets out a low whistle. ‘And you say you don’t have money.’

‘Huh?’

Kaylee doesn’t elaborate as she turns a corner and starts down a smell set of stairs. A small lounge area is on one side, with a door to an infirmary on the other.

‘This is the common area,’ Kaylee explains, ‘and that’s the infirmary. You might want Simon to check out your hands later.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ Jen says. She has everything she needs in her bag. She doesn’t need another doctor poking at her and telling her she’s going to come down with polio or something ridiculous.

‘And this is where you’ll be staying for the ride.’

Kaylee pushes open a door, reminding Jen of the kind she’s seen in pictures of Tokyo. She brushes her hand over the door, expecting to find some kind of paper screen, only to find a pebbled glass-like texture.

‘It’s a bit small, but it’s cosy, and the bed is soft enough,’ Kaylee’s saying. Jen follows her into the room, sliding her bag down into one hand and slipping her jacket off after placing her radio into the pocket. The bed that she sets her bag and jacket on is on a raised platform. In the corner is a small table that sticks out of the wall. There are a few items on it- a glass, some paper and a calendar.

‘The calendar was River’s idea. She says time out here’s a bunch of go-se, but it’s meant to be comforting somehow. It’s based on Sihnon time,’ Kaylee chirps away as Jen approaches it. She slides the pack off and it lands on the floor. She’s not worried about anything being broken, though; she’s staring too hard at the calendar.

‘Is it right?’ she asks finally, picking it up.

‘Yup. Is something the matter?’

Jen stares at it, a hand coming to her head. She must be delirious. ‘It says it’s 2519.’

‘Jennifer?’

Jen slumps to the ground, a hand coming to her mouth. It had to be wrong. Time travel was possible, yes, it’s happened before. To Sam, to the original stargate team. She’d read reports- an alternate Elizabeth Weir had travelled thousands of years into the past while on Atlantis- but this is insane. Not to her, not now. Not her, with only a rough idea of how time travel via a stargate works, with no idea of how to get back to Atlantis.

‘Honey, you okay?’

Jen jolts, eyes focussing on Kaylee. The calendar has fallen next to her, the date almost taunting her.

‘No,’ she whispers, ‘nothing is okay.’

*

Kaylee leads her to the kitchen, concern clearly on her face. Jen tries to remember the way they’ve came in case she needs to return on her own, but she loses herself in her thoughts.

Time travel.

It couldn’t be possible- maybe she really had been sent to the wrong planet, coincidently also named Persephone, where people lived in a world with ships in the year 2519, and the Wraith just happened to pass them by. But not even the Wraith would let Wraith-worshippers live for that long.

But Jen finds herself focussing on the moments before she’d stepped through the gate back on Atlantis. A bubble had passed through the wormhole just before she went through. Sam had assured her everything was okay, and Jen had trusted her because, well, it was Sam and there wasn’t anything to suggest otherwise.

But hadn’t Sam called out to her just as she’d gone through? Jen can’t remember, the wormhole sucked out any noise.

Kaylee eases her down into a chair, her hands drifting down her arms. Jen’s trembling. She’s not going to be able to go home. She’s going to be stuck in this place, five hundred years in the future, and what in God’s name is a credit?

A tin cup is handed to her, filled with water. Kaylee’s hands cover Jen’s.

‘Careful now, you’re gonna spill.’

Jen shuts her eyes, counts back from ten and takes a big gulp. She sets the cup on the table, already half-empty. Kaylee smiles kindly at her as she pulls a seat out and sits down opposite her.

‘You wanna tell me what’s wrong?’

‘You wouldn’t understand,’ Jen croaks out.

Kaylee raises an eyebrow at her. ‘Just ‘cause I’m a mechanic don’t mean- ’

‘I don’t even understand myself,’ Jen cuts her off. Before Kaylee can answer, Jayne’s voice cuts through the air.

‘Why are you on this gorram ship?’

Jen clears her throat, her hands clasping the cool metal cup. ‘Needed to go somewhere. Beylix’ (that was the name, wasn’t it?) ‘seemed like the place to go.’

‘It’s your turn to make dinner, Jayne,’ Kaylee juts in before Jayne can argue.

Huffing, Jayne swings around the small counter and starts pulling pots out. They clatter on the stove, and although the sound rings through Jen’s ears, it’s easier than silence. Stops her from thinking too much about her predicament, even though she knows she’ll have to be planning a way to get home eventually.

The rest of the crew start to filter in as Jen sips on the now lukewarm water and the smell of rice starts filling the air. Kaylee introduces Jen to those she hasn’t yet met with a smile. The glamorous looking Inara, Simon, stuck somewhere between stiffly dressed and casual and River, who stares until ice seems to settle in Jen’s belly.

‘Solar flare,’ River says, ‘shot through the sky in a ring, went in the wrong direction. Forwards, in a twist, not straight. Landed in the wrong area. Lost in time and space.’ She breaks her gaze and turns to Mal. ‘We’ll be in Beylix in a week.’

Mal’s leaning on the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Jen gets the feeling he’s trying not to look at her, but she catches his eyes sliding over. A plate is dropped in front of Jen, as well as a pair of chopsticks. Jayne drops several other similar looking plates, all dished with rice and some kind of vegetable that looks slightly burnt in front of the rest of the crew. Mal pushes off the wall and sits at the head of the table, Jayne flopping down on the other end.

‘You got any talents that might be of use?’ Mal finally asks, breaking the silence. Jen lifts her head, one of the chopsticks falling from her hands. She was never very good at working them.

‘Pardon?’

‘Something that could pay your way on the ship. Judging by your complexion and hands, I’m guessing you haven’t done one day of hard labour in your life.’

Jen can feel herself sinking in her seat. Normally she’s not so shy, but being thrust five hundred years into the future and reluctantly forced onto a ship that looks as though it may collapse at any moment…

‘I’m a doctor,’ she finally says.

‘Kaylee likes doctors,’ Jayne laughs to her left. Jen glances over to Kaylee who’s glowering in her seat.

‘Where’d you train?’ Simon asks carefully opposite her.

‘Johns Hopkins.’

Simon frowns. She recognises it- the kind of look trained, respectable doctors give to others who studied at small, backwater med schools. The kind of med school where you probably couldn’t get a job outside the state just because nobody would have an idea of where you studied. It probably doesn’t even exist anymore.

‘Where’s that?’

‘Maryland,’ River says a little too loudly. She’s digging at the rice with her chopsticks, drawing small circles. ‘Baltimore. Named after Johns Hopkins. Noted for his… philanthropy.’

She drifts off, lifting her head and staring directly at Jen. Jen quickly adverts her gaze and turns to her rice.

‘What’s your specialty?’ Inara asks, her soothing voice breaking the unsettling silence.

Jen chews around a mouthful of rice. It’s more overcooked than she likes but she manages to swallow it down. ‘Infectious disease.’

‘Aw, struck out again, little Kaylee.’

‘Jayne,’ Mal glares down the table to the other man. Jayne eyes him back, and Jen can almost taste the tension. Opposite her, Kaylee’s gripping the chopsticks and her knuckles are turning white.

‘I can’t cook,’ she suddenly blurts out. Seven pairs of eyes are suddenly on her. Jen swallows and sets the chopsticks down. Clears her throat, eyes on the table, count back from three then look over at Mal. ‘You said I needed to find a way to pay. You’ve already got a doctor on board. I can’t cook.’

‘Can you clean?’

Jen’s quiet for a moment, before answering, ‘yes’.

‘Then it’s settled.’ Mal pushes his way from the table and does a mock bow. ‘You can start with the dishes. Let’s see if we can’t get some blisters on those pretty little hands of yours now, shall we?’

As he walks from the table, Kaylee whispers to her, ‘he can be really nice when he wants to.’

‘He hasn’t kicked me out the airlock,’ Jen replies in the same hushed tone. ‘That’s enough.’

*

She’s wiping up the last of the plates when Mal re-enters the kitchen and clears his throat to get her attention. She raises her eyes to him and folds the towel up, setting it on the counter.

‘Just wanted to set a few ground rules ‘fore you go poppin’ on the apron.’

Jen nods. ‘Okay.’

Mal heads over to her, hands in his pockets. ‘First off, I don’t expect you to start makin’ beds or nothin’, and I don’t want you to. Everyone ‘round here has their privacy. Close quarters an’ all that, and people start getting a might jumpy when a stranger starts pokin’ their nose in on ‘em.’

Jen nods. She’s worked with the Air Force long enough to value her own space, and Atlantis, despite its size, doesn’t allow for many secrets.

‘Jayne may want you to start scrubbin’ his floors but tell him I said no and if he has a problem with it, tell him that he has to run it by me.’

‘Understood.’

‘Secondly, when we hit Beylix, we gotta transport some goods to the folk down there. They got a small town, with a hotel there that’s cheap enough and’ll provide you with a warm meal if you got the money.’

Jen eyes him. ‘Okay?’

‘What I’m sayin’ is it’ll give you some time to see if you can get through the portal or not.’

‘And if I can’t?’

‘Then I imagine you’ll be taking a job on Beylix ‘til you scrub up the coin you need to get through.’

Mal nods, seeming to take it as if it’s been decided. When he doesn’t say anything else, Jen takes the plates and starts putting them away. She can feel his eyes on her as she stands in front of the cupboard, putting the plates away one at a time. It’s not the most settling feeling, but it’s less creepy than River with her large eyes.

‘What are you gonna do when you get off?’ he finally asks.

‘Go home, I guess.’

‘Wisconsin?’

If she could get there. ‘Maybe.’

She hears Mal take a step and when she turns he’s leaning against the counter, an elbow propped up. ‘I was taking a look through the maps. There’s no sign of it anywhere, not even as a city.’

Guess it went off with Johns Hopkins, she thinks as she grabs the tin cups and starts stacking them next to the plates in the cupboard.

‘Maybe I’ll go somewhere else then.’

‘Where?’

Jen turns quickly, her lips pressed tight. ‘You said everybody on this ship deserves their privacy. So do I, even if I’m not part of your crew. I didn’t ask to be here.’ I didn’t even ask to be in this fucking century.

‘I didn’t ask to have you on my ship.’

Swallowing, she shuts the cupboard door and wipes her hands on her pants. She didn’t even have a spare change of clothes. Her trip to Persephone, her Persephone, was meant to be a quick one. In, out, be back on Atlantis in time for dinner.

‘Well I am,’ she says, trying to calm down. There’s a quiver in her voice. ‘And I’d be appreciative if you didn’t jump down my throat. I’m swimming here and my own damn team left… abandoned me on Persephone. I’m making this up as I go along, okay?’

Mal eyes her before turning on his heel and starting out the door. Shaking, Jen presses her back to the counter and slides slowly down it until she hits the floor. As much as she is desperate to remain as unnoticed as possible on the ship, to keep her head down and just clean up whatever needed to be cleaned, a gut feeling tells her that’s not going to be possible. Between Jayne and River she was going to be stretched to her limit from fear of being attacked in her sleep, even if Kaylee tried to assure her everyone was friendly.

They’re going to eat her alive.

Her head falls on her drawn-up knees and, though desperately trying not to, starts to cry. Deep sobs coming up from her belly as she shakes, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her body aches as she coughs between her hot tears. Drawing in an unsteady breath only seems to make it worse. Another fresh wave seems to crash against her. Bringing her hands up to her eyes, gritting her teeth, she shakes her head. Crying isn’t going to achieve anything, that’s what her father had told her as a child, and it certainly isn’t making her feel any better.

Slamming her hands down on the ground, trying to focus herself, she pushes herself up. Staggering slightly, she makes her way out of the kitchen. After a bit of wandering, she finds herself heading down the only flight of stairs she seems to recognise and past the infirmary and the other passenger rooms. The lights in the two rooms are off. She slips down the second corridor to where her room lies.

She stumbles into it, the only room with the light still on, and slides the door shut behind her. Falling towards her bed, she digs her radio out of the jacket pocket and slips it onto her ear.

‘Sam?’ she asks weakly through it. Static only answers her. She changes to another channel. ‘Rodney?’ Another channel. ‘John?’

‘Jennifer?’

Jen squeezes down on the button but after the relief has gone she realises the voice is coming behind her.

‘Kaylee,’ she says, wondering if the disappointment she felt was in her voice. Kaylee’s standing in the doorway, her hand curled around the frame. ‘Uh, come in.’

Kaylee slips through, sliding the door closed behind her as she does. ‘Thought I’d check up on you ‘fore I went to my bunk. I woulda stuck around t’ help you and all, but I figured the cap’n would wanna talk to ya’.’

Jen nods, pulling the useless radio off her ear. ‘Yeah, he, um… he just said not to worry about picking up after everyone.’

Kaylee smiles warmly and sits down beside her on the bed. ‘I toldja he was a nice guy.’

Staring down at the radio in her hands, Jen shrugs a shoulder and twirls the radio around. Radio waves are meant to travel through space, and as such, time. Time, in most cases, went forwards and she doubted her calls would reach Atlantis in any form.

Kaylee’s quiet beside her until her hand reaches out and pats her on the leg. ‘You okay, sweetie?’

‘Yeah,’ Jen replies a little too quickly. ‘Just…’ She hesitates, her hand reaching up to her mouth. Kaylee’s hand squeezes her thigh, the gentle pressure seeming to calm Jen’s racing heart. Taking a moment to settle, she lets her hand fall back into lap and finally looks over at Kaylee. ‘I’ll be okay.’

Kaylee gives her a small smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling. Jen attempts a smile back, blinking back tears that still stung her eyes. Kaylee’s hand lingers on her leg a moment longer, before she looks down and plucks the small radio from her hand.

‘What’s this?’

‘A radio,’ Jen replies. ‘You put it around your ear, turn this,’ she says, demonstrating, ‘to different channels and push this button. Hopefully someone will be on the other end.’

Kaylee slips it onto her ear, her thumb sliding over the different channels. Jen watches her, the way her lower lip catches between her teeth as she tunes into the available frequencies.

‘Don’t hear anybody,’ she finally says.

Jen rolls her eyes and takes the radio off Kaylee’s ear. ‘I know, I’ve tried. My team is tuned into this, and I’m meant to be able to communicate with them, but… nothing. Nothing but static.’

Kaylee tilts her head, her eyes still on the radio. A smile cracks over her face. ‘We got a few like this somewhere. Lot smaller, though. People seem to take us real seriously when we use ‘em.’

Jen laughs. ‘It’s damn near useless for me at the moment.’

‘All the radios I’ve seen other than this one and the kind we use, they all kinda fit into your ear, makin’ them small and hard to get out. And they all cost an arm and a leg, too.’

Kaylee moves to her feet, hands brushing down the front of her shirt, and moves to the door. She stops suddenly and turns. ‘Hey, d’you have anything to wear?’

‘Wear?’ Jen repeats.

‘To bed. Your bag is small and it doesn’t seem like you were prepared to go anywhere.’

‘Oh…’ Jen hesitates as she stands, her eyes going over to where her bag sits on the bed. ‘I’ll be fine,’ she states.

‘You sure?’

Jen nods. When Kaylee doesn’t make an attempt to leave, Jen motions towards the door. ‘Goodnight.’

Kaylee seems to stall a moment longer before nodding in return. ‘Meng mei an hao,’ she says before closing the door.

Jen stays where she is, her head down, listening to the way the ship seems to hum around her. A low, continuous hum that seems to fill the space in her room that isn’t entirely uncomfortable. With a sigh, Jen sits down on the bed and pulls at the laces of her boots and kicks them off. Letting them land on the floor, she sets the bag down next to them and flops onto her back. Barely remembering to turn off the light, she falls asleep with only the smallest of thoughts about trying to find her way home passing through her mind.

*

Kaylee drops by to see her early the next morning, or whatever substitutes as morning out here in space. Back on the Daedalus from what Jen can remember, they had a clock in the mess and everyone was required to set their watches to it. The only semblance of time on Serenity seems to be the little calendar that sits on the small table and her watch is still on Atlantis time.

Jen hates it.

Kaylee chirps a ‘good morning’ when Jen slides the door open. Her eyes are bleary and she doesn’t want to even think about what she looks like. Rubbing her eyes, Jen steps back, yawning out a hello.

‘I got you some things,’ Kaylee says as Jen notices the bundle in her arms.

‘Things?’ Jen repeats, trying to catch up.

‘Clothes,’ Kaylee explains as she sets the bundle down on Jen’s bed. The mattress had been as uncomfortable as Jen expected but compared to the beds back on Atlantis it was bliss. ‘Underthings,’ Kaylee continues. ‘But don’t worry, everything’s clean. Never even worn, some is even in its packaging.’

‘Oh.’ What was she meant to say to that?

Kaylee grins up at her, all teeth and flushed cheeks. ‘Ever since River came aboard I seem to be hoarding clothes. Don’t get much of a chance to dress up out here in the black since lace and engines don’t go together real well, but you can wear the things I don’t.’

Jen nods, deciding that was the best thing to do. What River and hoarding clothes had to do with one another, Jen couldn’t figure out, but as long as the things were clean she’s happy. Kaylee keeps grinning at her and for a moment Jen wonders if whatever makes River stare causes Kaylee to grin all the time. She hopes it isn’t contagious.

‘I’ll, um, get dressed now,’ Jen starts, motioning towards the clothes she’s barely looked at.

‘Oh!’ Kaylee steps towards the door. ‘Sure. Oh, one more thing, we don’t really have a sit-down big breakfast so feel free to go up at any time.’ She jerks a thumb down the corridor. ‘I’ll be in the engine room, so if ya’ wanna drop by…’

Jen nods, picking up a floral shirt. ‘Sure. Thanks for the…’ She drifts off and waves the shirt. Kaylee keeps smiling and shuts the door as she leaves.

It doesn’t take long for Jen to decide that Kaylee has a penchant for flowers and the colour pink. Although she hadn’t given Jen all that many clothes they all seem to have some kind of floral print or pink on them somewhere, except for the pair of pants that reminds Jen with a painful jerk of her time back in the SGC.

She dresses quickly and without much of a second thought in terms of the panties. They’re clean, like Kaylee promised, but it still sits uncomfortably with Jen. She dawdles, picking up the clothes and folding them. She makes her bed, folding the sheets back until they’re straight and smooth. She sets the clothes on the foot of the bed, refolding them as she does so. When she starts to refold her jacket the third time she knows she’s only filling time to avoid leaving her room. She knows she’ll have to leave eventually and there’s nothing to keep her interest in the room, but even so the idea of going out there…

She wonders if they’ve already set out a search-and-rescue for her back on Atlantis.

Tightening her belt (Kaylee’s pants were a little too big) she creeps out of her room and shuts the door quietly behind her. She passes by the infirmary where River sits on the bed as Simon buzzes around her. Jen ducks her head, though she feels River’s eyes on her until she starts up the stairs and out of sight.

Maybe she knows. Maybe she’s knows everything. Maybe she’s an Ancient, Jen thinks, the words swirling around her head. When Rodney activated that machine, he started hearing peoples thoughts. Maybe River can, too; maybe she’s in your head right now.

‘Jennifer.’

Jen lifts her head to find Mal opposite her. She stands there for a moment, curling her fingers into her palms, before stepping around him.

‘You ain’t gonna say hi?’

‘Hi.’

There is a stack of plates already in the sink and Jen can’t help but let out a small sigh. Breakfast first, dishes after.

‘I see Kaylee gave you some of her things to wear.’

‘I plan on returning them before I leave,’ Jen answers, poking a bowl with a spoon that sits just offside the sink. There’s some kind of tofu-like substance in it, scrambled to make it look like egg. Lifting the spoon with some of the tofu up to her nose, she sniffs. ‘Is this edible?’

Mal makes a noise that Jen takes for a yes. Washing one of the bowls out, she spoons the remains of the tofu into the bowl and grabs a clean spoon. It’s not the best meal she’s ever had but it beats the apparently real scrambled eggs she used to eat while at the SGC.

Looking up at Mal as she swallows down a mouthful, she arches an eyebrow.

‘Have I done something?’

‘Heard you been on a Daedalus. You Alliance?’

‘Alliance?’ Hadn’t one of those guards while on Persephone said something about the Alliance? That has to be some kind of government out here. ‘No.’

‘You gotta tell me if you are.’

‘I’m not!’ Jen wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and puts her almost-empty bowl down in the sink.

‘So how’d you get on one then? Last I heard you gorramn near have to kill a man to get on one of those.’

Jen turns her back to Mal and turns the tap on, watching the water rise slowly. Lying has never been one of her strengths and telling the truth will probably get her marked as insane and she’d be shoved into the airlock faster than the time it takes for Rodney to have a panic attack.

‘It was a long time ago,’ she finally says. It’s not a lie. ‘Circumstances change,’ and again, that’s not a lie. The gate bridge now means the Daedalus isn’t the only way of going between Atlantis and Earth. ‘It’s not something that’s open to discussion,’ she says, grabbing a sponge and starting to wipe down the plates. ‘I’m not Alliance, I’ve travelled on a Daedalus and while I’m on your ship I’ll be cleaning up after you and your crew.’

‘You said last night you don’t want me jumpin’ down your throat. I don’t take kindly to folk that do that to me neither.’

Jen slides her eyes over to him but doesn’t reply.

‘You might not like it here but I’ll take it as a kindness if you stop actin’ like you’re the only person on this here boat with troubles.’

Jen sets her eyes back in the sink. She grabs a bowl and dunks it into the water.

Although Mal doesn’t say anything she can still feel his presence. Jen keeps her concentration on the plates, making sure the remains of the scrambled tofu have been cleaned off before setting them aside to dry once she was finished. She wants to say something to break that uneasy silence. She can’t make him trust her and hell, if someone were to arrive on Atlantis more or less unannounced she’d have a hard time trusting them, too.

By the time she’s finished drying the dishes, Mal has walked off. The kitchen is quiet, which surprises her. A combination of Atlantis, the Daedalus and nearly living on base on Earth has left her uncomfortable with silence. Silence for the most part is a bad thing. Especially silence from Rodney McKay, which usually resulted in him claiming hypoglycaemia (she never had the heart to tell him that he didn’t have hypoglycaemia. Notes Carson left behind suggests something similar).

Tugging on the edge of her shirt (Kaylee’s shirt she corrects in her mind), Jen slips out of the kitchen after making sure that the rest of it is clean. She wants to see the rest of the ship but part of her mind tells her that it’s probably not the best idea. Mal and River and Jayne- three people that she doesn’t want to run into, even if Kaylee says they’re all nice.

Kaylee. Now she’s nice, even if a bit smiley and with a tendency to over share information.

And apparently a talent of getting people onboard a ship when they’d rather stay put.

‘Jennifer!’

I really need to stop drifting off.

‘Kaylee, hi.’

The engine is nothing like those on the Daedalus, or what little Jen saw of it. It’s a lot smaller, but with more wires and rotating parts. Some part of Jen was expecting control crystals and flashing lights but this… this is what she thought of when she thought of spaceships when she was young girl.

‘Mal doesn’t really like passengers poking around.’

‘I’m not poking around’ Jen answers quietly as she glances over the room. Wires and pieces of metal and a hammock? That’s something she definitely wasn’t expecting. Geordi La Forge never had a hammock.

Kaylee takes Jen’s arm and tugs her further into the room. ‘This is her engine. She’s a real beauty, ain’t she?’

‘It’s hot.’

A small, questioning noise comes from Kaylee. Jen looks at her and tugs at the neckline of her shirt.

‘It’s hot in here,’ she explains.

‘Oh!’ Kaylee nods and steps away from Jen and heads to the little workbench that lines one wall. She picks up what Jen can only guess is some kind of drill. ‘Gotta keep Serenity goin’ and that means lots of power and heat. She uses a trace compression block- best there is, no matter what anyone else says.’

Jen nods, despite having no idea what Kaylee’s saying.

‘And,’ Kaylee adds as she balances precariously on a stool and starts pulling through some wires, ‘it’s a lot better than what the Daedalus ships have. Those crystals, they make look nice and flash different colours, but you put one in the wrong slot or drop it, and suddenly you’ve got a whole world of trouble on your hands. Don’t care what the Alliance says; at least with a compression coil you can rig it to other parts. With those crystals, you gotta spend time programming it to do what needs to be done. By the time you’re done, half your crew could be gone.’

She looks at Jen over her shoulder, an eyebrow raised.

‘Oh, oh yes, yes,’ Jen spurts out, ‘I… I agree.’

With a crooked grin, Kaylee shakes her head and turns back to what she’s doing. A spray of sparks comes out of the drill and although Jen jumps back, Kaylee takes no notice of it.

‘You don’t know much ‘bout engines, do ya’?’

‘No, not really,’ Jen admits with a chuckle. ‘Now people… people I can deal with. You can get them to open their mouth and say ahh. You can poke parts and ask if it hurts. They can tell you what’s wrong.’

‘Serenity can tell you if something’s wrong.’ Kaylee steps down from the stool and sets the drill on the workbench. She crosses to Jen and takes hold of her hand, threading their fingers together. Jen looks down, looking at the line of grease that now mars her skin. ‘All you gotta do is listen.’

Kaylee shuts her eyes and Jen stares at her. The engine hums through the silence, and Jen’s eyes flitter over the walls. The way the wires trail up to the small box Kaylee had been working on. Down, to the way the engine spins. Over the rolls of duct tape and the tools that are scattered across the floor, leading like a trail to the hammock. Her eyes move up to the Kaylee, her round, apple cheeks, her autumn-coloured hair and the way her eyelashes flutter against her cheeks.

Dropping her voice down to a whisper, she says, ‘I don’t hear anything.’

Kaylee opens her eyes and breaks out into a laugh. Her fingers slip through Jen’s, before catching the tips and squeezing them in her hand.

‘That’s ‘cause you weren’t listening hard enough. There was a tick.’

‘A tick?’

Kaylee, still holding the tips of Jen’s fingers, tugs her over to the engine and crouches down on the ground. Jen falls down on her knees beside her, staring at the underside of the engine. With her other hand, Kaylee points at some part- Jen can’t tell what.

‘There,’ Kaylee says.

‘There?’ Jen repeats.

‘There,’ Kaylee says again. ‘Nothing serious, probably just come a little loose.’

‘We’re not going to die, are we?’

Now this, Jen thinks, staring at what Kaylee was pointing at, is what Rodney must feel like on a daily basis.

Kaylee’s pealing laughter echoes around the small room as she brushes past Jen and grabs a screwdriver and a cloth. ‘Course not; I couldn’t let the ship go down. That’d be bad for everyone. Death’s not something you can recover from easily.’

She returns and kneels back beside her.

‘So what’s wrong- is that safe?’

Kaylee’s reaching into the engine even is it’s turning. Jen stumbles backwards- not too far, though; if Kaylee hurt herself she’d want to drag her away as fast as possible.

‘Safer than turning it off. Anyway, it’s only gotten a bit loose. Might need a bit of cleaning, though.’

Jen watches as Kaylee digs around, seeming not to realise the panic that Jen’s experiencing. Sure, she’s reattached limbs before, but things like arms and hands…

‘All done!’

Kaylee springs back with a toothy grin. Jen gawks at her, before licking her lips, swallowing and stepping back.

‘I was half expecting ya’ to pull me back.’

Jen shrugs, letting out a small noise. ‘I thought that might be the wrong thing to do.’

Arching an eyebrow and quirking a smile, Kaylee slips past her and to the workbench. ‘Some of us are planning a game of hoopball today. You interested?’

‘Hoopball? Is that like basketball?’

Kaylee looks over her shoulder at her.

‘Basketball. You know, orange ball, you… throw it into…’

‘I know basketball is,’ Kaylee interrupts. She turns back to the bench and grabs some wiring. ‘’Nara doesn’t play much, but sometimes Simon can be convinced to play.’

‘I’ll see,’ Jen says hesitantly, though she already knows she won’t play. Hell if she’s going to embarrass herself by playing a futuristic game.

*

Rodney, Donna

2008-01-19T03:42:11Z

Title: I Don't Mean To Be A Bitch, But...
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Gen
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: Rodney receives an unexpected visitor from Earth. While on another planet. In the middle of a field.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Stargate Atlantis.
Notes: Requested by lizamanynames as part of this meme (flocked post).

‘Where am I?’

Rodney cringes, stepping away from the strange woman with the voice that would launch a thousand ships in the opposite direction. ‘Are you deaf?’

That seems to infuriate the screeching woman even more. Rodney had never been very good with women but very few of them had ever screeched at him.

‘What? What’s that meant to mean?’

‘If you keep yelling like that you’re going to get us killed!’

The woman’s nostrils flare and she storms over to him, her finger poking him the chest, punctuating each of her words with a sharp jab. ‘Who are you to tell me what to do, huh?’

Rodney pushes her hand away and looks at the life sign detector in his hand. There are a group of small flashing dots a distance away from them that could be the rest of his team or a tribe of hungry cannibals.

The woman snatches the device from him. ‘What’s this then, hey?’

‘That is mine,’ Rodney huffs, taking it from her, ‘and now I’m going.’

He steps around her, anxiously tapping his radio as he calls for John. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but John is still able to soothe a wild beast. He’s barely walked a few meters when he hears her coming up from behind. With a roll of his eyes, Rodney quickens his pace.

‘You can’t leave me here!’

‘Wrong! I can and I am planning to.’

The woman comes up beside him and Rodney glances over to her. She’s gritting her teeth, her eyes wild.

‘You said we could be killed.’

‘No, I said you’d get us killed if you kept yelling.’

He quickens his pace, keeping his eyes on the life signs detector.

‘Why, what’s out there?’

‘Does it matter?’

The woman’s voice seems to go up an octave and Rodney flinches.

‘It does because I don’t know where the bloody hell I am!’ She grabs Rodney’s wrist, forcing him back.

Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, Rodney stops, turning to her as he clutches the detector. Jerking his hand away, he glares at her.

‘You’re on Tartarus, though that should be something you already know since you were here when I arrived. Now, if you care to take yourself and your screeching voice somewhere else to be eaten by wildebeest, I’ll be going.’

‘Wildebeest?’ She storms after him, huffing loudly. ‘Who are you?’

‘Someone so intelligent that I shouldn’t have to put up with someone of your abysmal mind.’

‘Oh, ha ha, you must think you’re so funny.’

‘No, just a lot smarter than you.’

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her pinching her lips together as she storms beside him. It’d be hilarious if he weren’t worrying about finding John. He doesn’t want to spend any extra time on this planet with this… banshee if he can avoid it. It’s rather pleasant, too, this planet, when it’s not being overwhelmed with the sound of her high-pitched voice.

Of course, his peace is short lived.

‘So who are you?’

‘What?’

The woman squints at him, her brow furrowed. ‘What, I can’t ask who you are? You’ve already kidnapped me, you may as well tell me who you are.’

Rodney stops, shaking his head. ‘I have not kidnapped you. Why would I want to kidnap you?’

She whirls at him. ‘I dunno! I’m always being kidnapped by Martians.’

‘I’m not a Martian!’

She puts her hands on her hips, an eyebrow arched. ‘Oh yeah, where you from, then?’

‘I can’t tell you that,’ Rodney sniffs as he turns and starts heading towards the small dots that are blinking up at him from the life signs detector. Either he’s walked faster than he thought or the group of people are moving closer to them.

‘Why not?’

‘Because if I tell you I’ll have to kill you,’ Rodney sighs. He keeps walking, trying to concentrate when it suddenly hits him. Stopping, he spins around only to have her knock into him. Pushing her away (and in return having her slap him rather hard on the cheek), he asks her, ‘Wait, where are you from?’

‘Earth, but you’d already know that since you kidnapped me!’

‘Earth?’ he repeats, incredulous. ‘You can’t be from Earth.’

She glowers, and for a moment he thinks she’s going to slap him again. ‘You can’t tell me where I can and can’t be from!’

‘How did you get here?’ Rodney near-yells.

‘You kidnapped me!’

‘Stop saying I kidnapped you! I have no need to kidnap you! You’re useless to me! If I was going to kidnap someone I’d make sure they were at least half as annoying as you!’

‘Rodney!’

Rodney spins around to find John sauntering up to them. Behind him, Teyla and Ronon are glancing from Rodney to the woman.

‘I see you’ve found a friend.’

‘Can you get rid of her?’ Rodney groans. ‘She’s keeps… yipping.’

‘Yipping? I’m not a dog!’

John arches an eyebrow and holds his hand out to her. ‘I’m John Sheppard.’

She takes his hand and shakes it. ‘Donna Noble. He,’ she says, her voice starting to go up, ‘kidnapped me!’

‘I didn’t kidnap you!’ Rodney shouts. The woman- Donna- glares at him but before she can open her mouth and let out whatever she wants to no doubt screech, a strong breeze suddenly whips through the area. Rodney shuts his eyes to stop the wind stinging them. A strange humming seems to fill the air, growing and decreasing until the wind disappears. Opening his eyes, he finds a blue box standing several feet away with ‘POLICE’ sprawled across the top. The door opens and out steps a man wearing a suit. His hair reminds Rodney of John’s.

‘Doctor!’

‘Ah, the sweet sound of Donna’s voice. Did I miss anything?’

Donna points at Rodney, her voice growing shrill. ‘This man tried to kidnap me!’

‘Oh, will you shut up?’ Rodney rests his forehead in his hand. He can hear John laughing behind him. ‘Why would anybody want to kidnap you?’

‘Hey, what’s that box?’

Rodney looks over at John, who is staring at the strange blue box with curiosity. The man calling himself the Doctor turns to look over his shoulder, a grin on his face.

‘That’s the TARDIS.’

‘The what?’

‘The TARDIS,’ Donna repeats, clucking her tongue. ‘Duh.’

‘That’s not a word!’ Rodney sniffs.

‘It’s an acronym.’

John steps between them before an argument can break out. ‘Can I… we have a look at it?’

The Doctor glances over at Donna, then Rodney and finally at John. ‘No…’ he says slowly.

‘What is it, Ancient technology?’ Rodney asks.

Again, the Doctor is slow to answer. ‘No,’ he finally says, before telling Donna that they have to leave.

‘Stupid little Martian,’ Donna mumbles as she heads back to the TARDIS. ‘Thinking he could kidnap me.’

‘Not everyone you meet out here is a Martian,’ the Doctor says. ‘And he didn’t kidnap you.’

Donna’s reply is muffled as the door shuts behind them. Rodney watches in silence alongside John, Ronon and Teyla as the breeze from earlier suddenly comes rushing back, as does the humming. In front of them, the TARDIS fades in and out from view before going completely.

Slightly stunned, Rodney finds himself searching for words. Finally, he can only come up with, ‘I’m confused.’

John clears his throat. ‘Remember that time I told you there are some things that can’t be explained?’

‘No.’

‘Well, this is one of those times.’

Peter

2007-12-24T01:07:36Z

Title: Timeless
Author: finding_jay
Pairing: Gen.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mild violence
Summary: He tries to lose himself in forever. He thinks he succeeded when he saved the cheerleader.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Heroes.
Notes: This is just one of those things that popped into my head and had to be written down for me to get rid of it.

He loses Claire sometime in the late twenty-first century. He doesn’t think in years any more, just time frames. Sometime between the collapse of the US Empire and the rise of the Chinese, when everyone was lost and confused. She couldn’t look at him anymore without seeing what she made him, and he can’t look at her because he knows what he’s become. She departs for Europe and he stays in some US state that starts with a vowel and is full of sheep and cattle farms. He’s long forgotten which, or he may have never known.

He watches as the Chinese empire crashes down. He was there, as the revolution occurred and the Communist government was forever dismantled. He was shot twice in the back, and once in the chest. He was stripped and burnt and at the time he screamed but he’s long lost the ability how. He watches as the era of Man Ying Yu starts and ends and the society blossoms. It’s around this time he picks up the ability to speak any language, but it all still sounds like English to his ears. He doesn’t know how it works and he doesn’t bother to figure it out. Suresh is long dead and buried, his remains either scattered over the Ganges or in the burial plot with Parkman and their daughter.

He travels the world. Usually he walks. Any other form of transport is unnecessary. He has all the time in the world, and thanks to someone he met on what would have been his forty-second birthday (he no longer thinks in age, either), he no longer feels tired. He wonders sometimes if that’s the worst. He sleeps in one-hour increments, waking at every moment. He longs for exhaustion, he aches for it, but it never comes.

He stays in France for two government terms. Out of boredom he takes a plane to Russia and a train back to Germany. By this point they’ve annexed Austria (again) and the world is waiting. He no longer thinks as being part of the world population. He’s outside, watching everyone through a window. It’s times like this he wonders where Claire is, but then he pushes the thought from his mind. It no longer matters.

Germany and China go to war sometime in the mid twenty-second century. He freezes the River Thames while the war is on. It wouldn’t be strange, only he vaguely remembers it being the middle of summer. It made the front page in all major newspapers. It’s only pushed off when a nuclear bomb is dropped in Berlin. He decides to join the army because he has nothing better to do. He dies twice, both times with his tags missing, and he might have lost an arm only he doesn’t bother to remember. He sticks around only long enough to become a face in the crowd and then he leaves.

Various different types of fuels have come and gone, but thanks to someone he met in the past century, he now has the ability to change any chemical compound into another. He no longer remembers all the abilities he has, and sometimes he’ll be making breakfast and something will happen. The lights will go out, he’ll suddenly be purple, or a crocodile will be sitting in his sink. He keeps a list for a little while but he loses it. It doesn’t worry him as much as it used to. For a short period he was growing scales but he let them overtake his body and he eventually came to several miles underwater.

He’s slept with women and men young enough (comparatively) to be his great-by-ten-grandchildren. He gives all of them a false age, since nobody would believe a man was walking around that was more than four hundred years old. Maybe he’s four hundred. Maybe five.

Recreational space travel becomes popular in the twenty-fifth century. With the limited items he has, he hops aboard a spaceship and travels. He doesn’t really care where, as long as it’s somewhere else. Earth wearies him.

He meets Adam on some dusty rock in what is known as Sector Five. They fight. They kick and punch, bite and slap, gouge and scratch. He doesn’t bother to use any powers other than the one he can’t avoid. They bleed and lie beaten on the ground. His limbs heal, his broken skin mends. For a few minutes he actually felt alive. He shakes Adam’s hand and they walk in opposite directions.

For a while he remembers everyone. Faces and names, the amount of moles someone has, just what shade of blue eye another has. He meets a girl who looks like Claire, a man who looks like Nathan. He remembers the ordinary and dull. A librarian with a turned up nose and a lawyer with a gold tooth who met at a college library in Sector Three. Their conversation, the way the librarian held her pen and the way the lawyer rolled his eyes. Then he only remembers the extraordinary. A girl with straw-coloured hair who only walked on her hands as her feet had been cut off during the war between Sectors Twelve and Seventeen. Another girl, younger, with rainbow coloured hair cut into a bob that sang in Korean and served him coffee. A man with a tattoo on his face who sat on the side of a dusty street and cried for his lost faith in God. Then he forgets them all. He pushes the limits of his phenomenal memory, and then connections are lost.

On one nameless trip, on a ship that shook and rust covered the walls, he enters the airlock and lets himself get sucked out. He’s dead within seconds. He vaguely remembers hurtling through atmosphere, his skin on fire, clothes burnt into his flesh. He wanders through a massive desert, watching his skin burn and heal. He knocks the first man he meets out, takes his clothes and walks off. He meets a boy on that planet he can’t name in a sector he doesn’t bother to find out. He doesn’t say anything as he kneels in front of him. He feels his memories draining into the boy’s cool hand until there’s none left. He wanders for three days until they come back in a rush that causes him to fall onto the pavement. It happens quicker and quicker each time. One day it’ll stop working completely. He wakes up in a hospital, and it is explained to him that he has had a seizure. He leaves without answering questions and hops on the next flight.

He meets a non-descript girl on a ship. A telepath. She comes to him late one night, a gun in hand. She’ll let him get sucked from the airlock afterwards. He lets her cover his mouth with her other hand as she presses the barrel behind his ear.

It’s bliss when it goes black.